75

Carnivore Club Subscription

By: on August 10, 2016

It's the beginning of the month and the doorbell rings. First thought: Ugh, what fundraiser, salesperson, or kid selling peanut brittle for judo camp am I going to have to turn down this time? But then as I get closer to the door, I see the brown uniform. The UPS guy standing there with a package. I don't remember ordering more butt-enhancing boxer briefs--what could it be?

I sign for the box, slice open the lid, and [Cue angels singing. Really, really loud!] holy chorizo and capocollo! It's meat!

My girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power gifted me a subscription to the Carnivore Club!

Guess I'll be taking her to the Adele show after all.

Carnivore Club delivers its members 4 to 6 handcrafted cured meats each month. Faux-wood boxes are filled with artisanal selections from a variety of farms, and centered around themes such as French Charcuterie, Italian Salumi, Spanish Chorizo, or South African Biltong. All meats come from ethically treated animals and producers who practice humane slaughtering and use locally sourced ingredients.

Carnivore Club subscriptions are available on a monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly basis. For a limited time, you can give the club a shot with a 1-month / 1-box trial, plus a $15 future credit for $45--35% off retail value.

Note: the Dude Exclusives online store is hosted and managed by Stack Commerce, a third party not directly affiliated with DudeIWantThat.com. All order, customer service, and general inquiries should be submitted through the Dude Exclusives Customer Support page. Inquiries submitted through other contact forms or channels may not receive a timely response.

Buy Now

Ziv's Portable Smoker

$119.95 from Amazon »

Ziv likes his fish straight out of the smoker the same night he catches it. Even if he's spending that night in Mother Nature's backyard instead of his own. He created Ziv's Portable Smoker - a cooker box that collapses...

Check it out

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

Buy Now

Smoke Puck Meat Infusers

$12.12 from Amazon »

They say these smoke pucks pack punch. Right in your meat's kisser! Smaller than a wood or pellet smoker, or even a wood / pellet smoker box that sits under your grill lid, the Steven Raichlen Best of Barbecue Stainless...

Buy Now

Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$29.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

Check it out

Country Archer Natural Meat Snacks

$2.75 - $6 from Country Archer »

Country Archer makes meat snacks for those of us who are done with dry, brittle jerky that tastes like nothing but fake smoke and salt, and feels like it's going to puncture our gut when we swallow it. And also for those...

Check it out

Bacon Condoms

$9.99 from Bacon Salt »

Bill Gates, you put out an open call. You asked for the "next generation" in condoms. A design that will revolutionize safe sex practices by making the peen sheaths more desirable to wear. Men and birth control in third...

Buy Now

20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

Sold Out from Amazon »

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's...

Buy Now

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$89.90 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

Buy Now

Smokemiester BBQ Smoker Grill Converter

$119.95 from Amazon »

Holy smokes...miester! A Weber, a hole saw, and a coupla Bud Light Limes on a Saturday afternoon, and my Bru-BQ Wayne kettle grill becomes a Bat-Smoker too! The Smokemiester BBQ Smoker converts any covered grill into...

Check it out

The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

Buy Now

The Original Po' Man Charcoal Grill

$114.99 from Amazon »

"It looks like a trash can and tastes better than an Egg, so it will be the conversation piece of your next BBQ." So say the creators of the Po' Man, a grill that sets up with a set down on the ground, operates on plain...

Buy Now

The Burger Lift

$10.86 from Amazon »

Even though the Burger Lift is kind of a head-scratcher--wait, why do I need a plastic rack in the shape of a burger to raise my real burger half an inch off the plate?--it still might be one of the most logical things...