Never mind a picture, when it comes to Tuttuki Bakos, or "Poking Boxes", it's a video of a Japanese lady doing questionable things with her finger and a cube of plastic while making noises progressing from confused to excited to utterly disappointed that's worth a thousand words. The augmented reality game allows human wiggly parts to enter its box and interact with an assortment of pixelated creatures inside.
Once inserted, a digital representation of your finger appears on screen, reacting in real time as you move critters and figures and, according to seller Japan Trend Shop, cause "all sorts of virtual trouble." Game modes include:
- FACE, a human visage that scowls and twitches, snots and sneezes depending on your pestering locale of choice.
- PANDA, which probably tolerates being tapped on the head for about five seconds before biting you. On the bright side, I hear pandas have an inordinately low sex drive, so at least it probably won't try to hump your pointer.
- SLIME. I don't know what this means. The description says, "Feel a slimy, strange creature," but it seems this fairly rudimentary expression of virtual reality would not include tactile stimuli. Maybe if you put some lube in there first.
- SEA, a little finger-fondling of the fishies.
- FIGURE. Again, the Japanese description of, "Play with the little guy on screen," means so little…yet is simultaneously so loaded. Is this a translation thing? A cultural disconnect? Or do the Japanese consistently seem so filthy dirty in their language and presentations because they really are that filthy and dirty?
Tuttuki Bako game boxes come in colors black, red, and green. Adults will likely find them entertaining for about 5 minutes, and it's tough to justify spending $91 on a toy that will only get you through 2 or 3 commercial breaks. But those with both kids and bank accounts the size of my ex-girlfriend's ass--wait, let me qualify that: my ex-girlfriend has an enormous ass--will definitely earn some parent points tucking one of these simple virtual gems into a Santy stocking this holiday season.