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Thursday, March 29, 2012
$11.95 from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$12.55 from Amazon »

Great. Now when I don't catch the frisbee not only is it going to hit me in the face, it's going to hit me in the face and then bounce off up to 25 feet. The Sky Bouncer flies like a disc but ricochets off walls, floors, skulls...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$149.99 from Gentle Giant »

Ahhh, Darth Vader and Son. The must-have storybook for all dads forced to read their sons storybooks. Jeffrey Brown's re-envisioning of the Star Wars mythos speculates on how a galaxy far, far away might have looked if Darth Vader had been a good dad. And now Brown has teamed up with the artisans at Gentle Giant Studios and developed a set of figures to accompany this fine piece of narrative (actually...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Thursday, July 24, 2014
$12.96 from Amazon »

Welcome to my couch. It's a privilege to be your host for the evening. Please sign in here so I'll have a record of your attendance...other than the ass print you'll leave behind...in the coming years. Can I get you anything? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I mentioned it was BYOB...and B some for me too. Burgers? Pizza? Uh...how about some...dill pickles? Yes, of course we can watch Season 1 of Dexter....

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$7k from Budnitz »

It may not be the fastest or most agile bike on the market, but this fatty is hardy. Resilient. A trusty draft horse that can plow through winter weather even if it feels a little slow and lumbering along the way. Budnitz's...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$10.56 from Amazon »

Did you just get turned down for yet another job at the town spy agency? Did the seamstress chortle when you brought in your new suit to be hemmed? Has it been a long...long...time since you've had sex? If you're entering...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.95 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying...

Friday, April 4, 2014
$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The bald eagle. The symbol of American freedom soaring majestically through the air. It's magical. Stirring. Glorious. It's...uh, it's flying kind of low. It's--holy crap! It's about to T-bone that tree! Cornelius, you ball...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Discontinued

No pen.... No write.... No sign! No sign! The Fratelis forgot to check Mikey's marble bag! I can't tell...if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat!! Come on Andy, if you hit the wrong note they'll all "B flat"! The Goonies'...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....

Friday, January 11, 2013

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$1,995 from Amazon »

Can you pull off Alice wielding a Mossberg 590 and lighting up super zombie scum in a post-apocalyptic Vegas wasteland? I definitely can...do no such thing. In terms of badass combative chicks, I could maybe pass as Jean Claude...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$19.99 - $39.99 from Tek Recon »

It seems to me that the favorite pastime of kids today is sitting on the couch watching TV shows with adult content and playing video games. And when you make them get off the couch and go outside, they partake in their second...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$264.95 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

Saturday, November 10, 2012
$29.95 from Amazon »

What better way to enjoy giving a gift as much as receiving one than to present it to its recipient in a Puzzle Pod? For this DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will likely...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
$8.32 from Amazon »

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....

Thursday, March 6, 2014
$24.99 - $46.42 from Amazon »

The 4th dimension is time. 4D puzzles of famous skylines--including Westeros from Game of Thrones!--sprawl width- and lengthwise, rise vertically with scale-model buildings, and cap their dimensional empire with the axis of...

Saturday, August 2, 2014
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Breaking Bad pink teddy bear. It fell from the sky. From innocence. From grace. Lost an eye. Suffered massive burns to its left side. But it survived. It even landed in a swimming pool, so it wasn't just saved, it was...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Technology Will Save Us. At least the company will. Their line of DIY technology will save us from idle hands, clumsy fingers, and thumbs up our butts. The latest, a DIY Gamer Kit, encourages the inquisitive first to build...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$9.25 from Klecker Knives »

Klecker Knives gets the kids wielding folding lock-backs young. Their Trigger knife kit, edition glow-in-the dark, aspires to teach children ages 7 and up how to build their own pocket blade model. Now at first I wondered...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
$12.79 from Amazon »

Here we have a book about one of my favorite topics. Yeah, that's right. Origami. Apologies that the only samples I could find during my Google image search of the sexy paper creation instructions contained in Pornogami: A...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014
$11.22 from Amazon »

As you can see, Super Sculpey sculpturing compound can sculpt some pretty super sculptures. The mutant dentist's nightmare in the photo above comes courtesy of Chris Maxwell via ConceptArt. Additionally, a simple online image...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$89 from Puzzlebox »

The power of the human mind. It inspires nothing less than awe and reverence. Even the minds of idiots, which often serve either as entertainment or pleasurable, self-elevating disbelief that someone could be dumb enough to...

Wednesday, October 23, 2013
$199 from Amazon »

Professor Plum in the dining room with the...3D glasses, suckah! Iconic board game Clue has followed Hollywood feature films into the 3rd dimension with its own 3D addition to your family fun nights. No glasses required here...

Thursday, June 26, 2014
$35 - $70 from Snipe Darts »

Liran Erez decided to fire back at what he deems the lame-ifying of shooter games with the advent of touchscreen apps. His SNIPE Dart Blaster and free SNIPE apps...no, the darts aren't going to F up your screen...introduce...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$275 - $400 from Etsy »

I'm not the biggest Borderlands fan. The name alone carries enough of an allusion to Canada for me. Then once I see a Psycho with those penetrating indigo eyes and a mutilating buzz axe...shiver...it just conjures too many...

Thursday, May 30, 2013
$99 from Inteliscope »

It's a tactical time of year. Crossbows, BBQ aprons, and now a forthcoming rifle scope and rail mount system that shakes up the shooting game by using an iPhone/iPod and mobile app to give readouts of critical ballistics...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
$895 - $3,401 from Monkeylectric »

MonkeyLectric upgrades its previous version of Monkey Light LED madness for bicycle tires with Monkey Light Pro, an installation of customized, downloaded graphics and animations that turn two wheels into two tickets to vehicular...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$1,299 from Onewheel »

They say Onewheeling is like surfing the perfect wave or snowboarding on fresh powder, but without the requisite presence of an ocean or mountain. Hmmm. I wonder if the presence of oceans and mountains has been what caused...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
$34.99 from Amazon »

Who wants to try the Aquapod bottle launcher in their backyard? It shoots water-filled 2L sodie bottles up to 100 feet in the air with the assistance of nothing but its dock, a bike pump, and your foot. Got a beef with the...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013
$25 from Plotagon »

You know the millions and millions of words of fanfic piled up across the Internet? Thanks to Plotagon, they're about to be joined by millions and millions of seconds of fanflick. Not that I'm complaining. I like a good alternate...

Monday, March 19, 2012
$10.26 from Amazon »

Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this time...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$345 from RcSuperhero »

A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$27.20 - $85 from Shapeways »

Pain, blood, Thorn Dice: you gotta pay to play. Meandering threads of contemporary CAD technology intertwine to form polyhedral dice bodies dotted with protruding thorns and varying numerical sequences that accommodate all...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Friday, May 9, 2014

2014 marks the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters' big screen release. Yeah, I know. I can't believe you're that old either. So obviously enterprising capitalists are making to capitalize on the Who ya gonna call?...

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

My solution to bike theft is not riding a bike. That's also my solution to not falling off a bike and breaking my face. But to those up for tempting fate, check out Kuat's Bottle Lock, a 5' cable of 8mm thick braided steel...

Friday, September 20, 2013
$9.04 from Amazon »

How do you declare a thumb war in Wookieespeak? Yeah, that's right, 1, 2, 3, Raaawwwrrr! Time to suit up, buckle down, and probably tie one on, Cornelius, because I challenge you to a lightsaber duel. From the knuckles down....

Friday, May 17, 2013
$129.95 from SpyTec »

One thing I've always wanted to do while fending off UV rays is record myself fending off UV rays. Granted, this usually entails lying on my ass in the company of a sand-free beach mat, a 6-pack...fine, a case...of Bud Light...

Wednesday, July 9, 2014
$21.80 from Amazon »

It always sucks when someone's kid gets inadvertently staked in the head playing Jarts. Even when it's kind of funny because it makes you think of that one Steve Martin standup routine...it's not really that funny because...

Friday, May 4, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet...

Friday, August 16, 2013
$4,497 from Iron Man Statue »

Outstanding. Not just that it's a life-size Mark 42 statue from Iron Man 3, but that whomever forged it deemed "life-size" to mean "Robert Downey Jr.-size", which is actually more like garden gnome-size. Good thing Iron Man...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$44.99 from Amazon »

Star Wars gets an entire series of transforming vaults revealing the histories and dogmas of its most famous characters, so it only makes sense that a legendary hero with an equally illustrious past--plus the actual ability...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$44.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled...

Tuesday, March 18, 2014
$2,199.99 - $2,699.99 from Razer »

Just like the Mach series, this Razer Blade keeps one-upping itself. The company's new 14" gaming laptop improves upon the last generation most notably in the arenas of color, clarity, and control. Razer touts its latest gamer's...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...

Saturday, May 31, 2014
$222.01 from Amazon »

Whoa, the sixth scale collectible figure of Wolverine as portrayed by Hugh Jackman might look more like Hugh Jackman portraying Wolverine than Hugh Jackman himself. Head sculptor and painter Lee So Young and JC Hong should...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$817.39 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$38.83 from Amazon »

Hot Wheels aren't exactly cost-prohibitive so I'll still probably just buy a few when I get a hankering to dick around with toy cars at work, but for the kiddos and handy Daddy-Os out there who dig doing things themselves...

Sunday, April 6, 2014
$42.02 from Amazon »

The 3-1/2-minute video tutorial of A Game of Thrones: The Board Game jasonobi uploaded to YouTube is one of the better user videos I've seen of this nature. He explains the extensive rules succinctly, plays the TV series'...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$7.02 from Amazon »

Everybody poops 410 pounds a year. Heh. Given what I've been downing today, at least 5 of those pounds are going to show themselves to me sometime between 5:00 and 10:00 tomorrow morning. Author Deuce Flanagan reminds us that...

Thursday, January 16, 2014
By: PrioVR

As predicted, probably by Nostradamus and Back to the Future II (but not the Mayans because they thought we'd be dead by now), 2014 is shaping up to be the year of virtual reality. As the buzz around the Oculus Rift VR gaming...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$200 from Blaze »

Look cyclists, it's a little green you. A constant companion on the road who will never fall behind or drop you, and who will do everything he can to save you from getting rammed, flipped, T-boned, or sideswiped by a car....

Monday, December 3, 2012
$28.24 from Amazon »

Geez, even connect the dots sex looks complicated. There must be 200 numbers in each of these puzzles, and good luck trying to figure out what's lurking behind the connective ink lines before putting in the elbow grease. Unless...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$24.95 - $64.95 from Dan & Dave »

Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask and...

Thursday, September 4, 2014
$14.95 - $130 from Yomega »

Whether you're a Yo-yo novice, a yo-yo Yoda, or just an avid collector of all things Star Wars, Yomega's Star Wars yo-yos and yo-yo accessories, will make a campy and unique addition to your galactic repertoire. The company...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$30 from Amazon »

It's Dungeons & Dragons for the boozin' 21+ crowd. DrunkQuest combines fast-paced card game mechanics with shades of the D&D fantasy world with a few 6-packs and a liter or two of Captain Morgan for a party game of competitive...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I don't know too much about Lexington, Kentucky. Well, really I don't know anything about Lexington, Kentucky except that beginning Spring 2014 it will be #1 on my list of vacation destinations. In Spring 2014 Ninjas, an indoor...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Monday, September 24, 2012
$639.99 from Etsy »

Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion....