Entertainment

Giant Cardboard Robot Arms Kit

$45 from Etsy »

When I transform into a paper-product-based Optimus Prime, I like to take on a more active role in the process than lifting my giant cardboard robot arms out of a giant cardboard box. So thanks be to Chuck Norris that...

The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions

Sold Out from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Cogburn CB4 Hunting Bike

$2,199.99 from Scheels »

Well here's one way for mountain bikers to take out the competition during races. Can't beat 'em with speed and skillful maneuvering? No problem. Just haul out your crossbow from the scabbard on Cogburn's CB4 hunting...

Doom Hero Rifle

Discontinued

Here's something awesome I did yesterday: drove to the coffee shop, parked my car in the garage underneath, regaled you with a small handful of product descriptions, and then walked home. Boy was I surprised a couple...

Thug Kitchen

$14.90 from Amazon »

Thug Kitchen, in the piped icing vein of What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner, has parlayed a recipe blog and the gratuitous use of profanity into a cookbook. And although I'm pretty sure noting Thug Kitchen on the...

Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes

$15.83 from Amazon »

Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes is a compilation and continuation of the Mapping Stereotypes project created by visual artist Yanko Tsvetkov. That's a curt, dispassionate way of saying the Atlas of Prejudice stockpiles...

The Married Kama Sutra

$13.60 from Amazon »

The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual extols both the wild and nuanced interactions of married life, and categorizes them--with illustrations--into the next echelon of the ancient Indian guide to...

T8X Robotic Spider

$499 - $749 from Robugtix »

I know. It's just a remote control spider, right? Fun for 5 minutes' worth of scaring Grandma, but otherwise unremarkable. And $499? Is that a joke?...

You Have to F**king Eat

$12.30 from Amazon »

If I had a kid I think I would be way more concerned about it not going the fuck to sleep than not fucking eating because, I mean, the hours from bedtime to the ass crack of dawn when the kid inevitably wakes back up...

Scorpion Blade Arm Gauntlet

$45.87 from Amazon »

A scorpion in appearance, a fantasy knife in name, a DEATH STALKER in action. BladesUSA has your cosplay night, your Halloween costume, and your one-man S&M show covered....

Kama Sutra Chess Pieces (NSFW)

Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's...

Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole

$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how...

Super Precision Gyroscope

Sold Out from Amazon »

Made from solid brass and aluminum, the Super Precision Gyroscope is both the epic tinkerer's and workplace thumb-twiddler's essential toy. It runs on miniature stainless steel bearings that propel its movement continuously...

Cage of Death Crocodile Dive

$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern...

Floating Skateboard Ramp

What you see before you is Lake Tahoe, Californian skater Bob Burnquist, and 4 days of work. Miami art director Jerry Blohm and his team designed and built this floating skateboard ramp for Burnquist, who was a participant...

People I Want to Punch in the Face

$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want...

The Bounty Hunter Code

$59.99 from Amazon »

Around the time legendary bounty hunter Boba Fett tumbled into the Great Pit of Carkoon, the Rebel Alliance discovered a secure, blast-proof bounty hunter's case holding Boba Fett's personal items. For years it remained...

Glow Fusion Bubbles

$4.96 - $6.02 from Amazon »

They call them Super Miracle Bubbles because they glow. At least the Glow Fusion Bubble Solution glows. The bubbles it produces appear to have about the same luminosity as every other bubble. Which doesn't necessarily...

Batman Chess Set

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker...

Batarang Boomerangs

$55 - $199 from Boomerangs By Vic »

Vic Poulin has invented some Batarangs that just might indicate whether or not you're actually qualified to be Batman. His advanced returning Batarang boomerangs, available in standard 14" and Big Daddy 25" lengths, aren't...

Halfbike

$999 from Halfbike »

Urban mobility. I hear that term a lot now since almost anyone who lives in a city of over 500,000 people spends half their lives sitting in traffic not being urbanly mobile. The Halfbike, a kind of bicycle-meets-elliptical-machine...

Black Playing Cards

$11.95 from Amazon »

Black like my ex's heart, and black like the magic I'm going to use to make her rue the day she left me crushed and dejected inside a four square. Anyone who wants to know what's wrong with me, here's your answer: 1)...

Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition Monopoly

$31.83 from Amazon »

The Legend of Zelda Monopoly? Good luck rescuing the princess in this game that never ends. Trade American dollars for funny looking rainbow Canadian...uh, I mean Hyrulian currency and start hoarding your sculpted Deku...

Daryl Dixon Zombie Ears Necklace

$89.74 from Amazon »

As Vincent Van Gogh proved 125 years ago, nothing says, "Be My Valentine," like a severed ear. And thanks to the mutational viruses unleashed by modern research, today you don't even have to lop off your own ear for the...

Carbon Fiber Playing Cards

$120 from Kickstarter »

Yes, they shuffle. But they can't do the bridge/easy stack after the riffle, so if you want a deck of carbon fiber playing cards, you'll have to be willing to press them together and realign them into a neat pile yourself....

Fight Club 2 Comic Series

It's all part of The Game. Wait, no, that's not it. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was... Nope, not that one either (but check out the latest homage to Keyser Soze here). The first rule of Fight Club is...yeah...

Dragon Slayer Leather Armor

$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig...

B - The RC Hybrid Car-Helicopter

$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off...

Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation

$7.95 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Cyclist's Turn Signal Gloves

$95.31 from Amazon »

I guess if you don't know that a straight arm means left and a bent elbow means right - which, let's face it, a lot of people probably don't - then Zackees LED Turn Signal Gloves would be of great benefit, both to the...

Between the Lines: An Expert Level Coloring Book

Sold Out from Amazon »

Why does Between the Lines: An Expert Level Coloring Book exist as a Kindle Edition? I mean, I don't really use much technology aside from my flip phone and Apple IIGS, but I feel like the appeal of a coloring book, particularly...

Never Have I Ever: The Game of Poor Life Decisions

$25 from Amazon »

I was just wondering what I'll do to pass the time once football season is over. At first I thought I'd be stuck re-watching Seasons 1 through 7 of The Gilmore Girls with my mama, but now it appears I have an alternative:...

Book of Sith: Secrets from the Dark Side

$173.59 from Amazon »

This is the time of year that we gather up all the crap we got for Christmas and return it/sell it on Craig's List so we can use the money to buy the stuff we really want. Like the Vault Edition of Book of Sith: Secrets...

How to Poo on a Date

$9.72 from Amazon »

Now that I've learned How to Poo at Work, plus How to Pee with Morning Wood, it's time I overcome my next, and perhaps my greatest, hurdle in life: How to Poo on a Date. How do I poo on a date? I've often wondered. Obviously...

Sky Bouncer - Bouncing Frisbee

$12.89 from Amazon »

Great. Now when I don't catch the frisbee not only is it going to hit me in the face, it's going to hit me in the face and then bounce off up to 25 feet. The Sky Bouncer flies like a disc but ricochets off walls, floors...

Inceptor - The Game of Your Dreams

$49 - $99 from Pilot Study »

Grab your totem, but be forewarned: Inceptor the board game has as many layers as the Inception film it stemmed from. If you play it in subdued lighting with Hans Zimmer's soundtrack blaring through some surround-sound...

Revolights Bike Lighting System

$229 - $499 from Revolights »

Revolights, a wheel-mounted bicycle headlight and taillight system, equip cyclists with wheels that provide true 360-degree visibility, plus an integrated brake light indicator. The Kickstarted company's current model...

ZORBZ Self-Sealing Water Balloons

$10.23 from Amazon »

Don't want to wait 19 months, or whatever the current ETA for Bunch O Balloons is? Get an instant water balloon fix with ZORBZ latex bombs. You won't be able to pump up 3 dozen of them at once, but the balloons' self-sealing...

Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate

$9.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

30th Anniversary LEGO Ghostbusters

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of...

101 Places to Get F*cked Up Before You Die

$10.90 from Amazon »

F*cked up? I prefer to think of it as irreverently incapacitated. But that's just because I'm a pillar of class even when I'm challenging a Belgian vagabond to a Fireball shooting contest in a Buenos Aires bar, and then...

The Manual to Manhood

$11.54 from Amazon »

Some dude at work gave me this Manual to Manhood malarkey. Like, he was under the impression that I don't know how to tie a tie or cook a steak or change my oil. Which is true, but I'm not sure why I'd waste my time reading...

4D Vision Anatomy Models

$25.08 from Amazon »

Not so scary when you're splayed across my coffee table in 20 detachable organs and body parts, are you Jaws? Ow! F- OK, fine. Teeth still sharp in 13" long 4D model. Shark still mildly intimidating....

The Best Wrong Test Answers Book

$8.44 from Amazon »

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....

Puzzle Pod - Cryptex Packaging

$29.95 from Amazon »

What better way to enjoy giving a gift as much as receiving one than to present it to its recipient in a Puzzle Pod? For this DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will...

Baking Bad: A Parody in a Cookbook

$14.55 from Amazon »

Now that Breaking Bad is over it's time to cook up your own meth...cupcakes. Or, I don't know, maybe it's just blue food coloring in the mix and rock candy on top. Whatever, fans of the show going through Walter White...

Japanese Flipbooks

$15.80 - $23.37 from Amazon »

Rabbit with Long Ear is by far the most profound book I've read...ever. In 0 words and less than 5 seconds it provides a stirring and stark look into the life of a creature cursed with inordinately long lobes who refuses...

Slackers Backyard Zip Lines

$122.54 - $153.19 from Amazon »

Even though Slackers' Zip Line Kits are rated for passengers weighing up to 250 pounds, all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because any adults who would like to partake in this flight...

The 1990s Coloring Book

$7.84 from Amazon »

So a couple weeks ago I was my mama was watching the Saved By the Bell movie on Lifetime and I inadvertently saw a scene or two. I had no idea, no idea! that Zack Morris got it on with Lisa Turtle in real life. Only she...

Darth Vader and Son Figures

$149.99 from Gentle Giant »

Ahhh, Darth Vader and Son. The must-have storybook for all dads forced to read their sons storybooks. Jeffrey Brown's re-envisioning of the Star Wars mythos speculates on how a galaxy far, far away might have looked if...

Glass Top Ping Pong Table

Oh good, I was hoping someone would come up with a way for me to enjoy the excitement of a ping pong match from below. TravisMathew has developed this Glass Top Ping Pong table as a custom, made-to-order in the OC, price...

How to Archer

$11.17 from Amazon »

Did you just get turned down for yet another job at the town spy agency? Did the seamstress chortle when you brought in your new suit to be hemmed? Has it been a long...long...time since you've had sex? If you're entering...

Alice's Mossberg 590 from Resident Evil

$1,995 from Amazon »

Can you pull off Alice wielding a Mossberg 590 and lighting up super zombie scum in a post-apocalyptic Vegas wasteland? I definitely can...do no such thing. In terms of badass combative chicks, I could maybe pass as Jean...

Animated Bike Wheel Lights

$895 - $3,401 from Monkeylectric »

MonkeyLectric upgrades its previous version of Monkey Light LED madness for bicycle tires with Monkey Light Pro, an installation of customized, downloaded graphics and animations that turn two wheels into two tickets...

Hybrid Stand Up/Sit Down Paddleboard

Sold Out from Amazon »

Stand up paddleboarding is super fun! Unless you lack the balance, core strength, and stamina of an Olympic athlete, in which case it's super fun for the first 15 minutes, and a shit show of falling into water, heaving...

Tek Recon - Live Action FPS Video Game

$19.99 - $39.99 from Tek Recon »

It seems to me that the favorite pastime of kids today is sitting on the couch watching TV shows with adult content and playing video games. And when you make them get off the couch and go outside, they partake in their...

BCX Slingshot

$185 from BaseCampX »

I can't figure out why this slingshot is so expensive. It must be the one David used to slay Goliath. Alright then, give me a rock and a pair of eyeballs...and $200, Mama...and I'll see what I can do....

X-Ray Playing Cards

$10.89 from Amazon »

The skulls on these X-ray playing cards show a transparent face to you, an opaque face to your opponents, and a sinister face to all. You'll be able to turn your friend Cornelius' mug into a sick-grinning, blood-red-brained...

Pat the Zombie Book

$9.15 from Amazon »

Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this...

Budnitz FTB - Snow-Faring Fat Bike

$7k from Budnitz »

It may not be the fastest or most agile bike on the market, but this fatty is hardy. Resilient. A trusty draft horse that can plow through winter weather even if it feels a little slow and lumbering along the way. Budnitz's...

Plotagon - Make Your Own Instant Movie

$25 from Plotagon »

You know the millions and millions of words of fanfic piled up across the Internet? Thanks to Plotagon, they're about to be joined by millions and millions of seconds of fanflick. Not that I'm complaining. I like a good...

Borderlands Psycho Bandit Mask & Buzz Axe

$275 - $400 from Etsy »

I'm not the biggest Borderlands fan. The name alone carries enough of an allusion to Canada for me. Then once I see a Psycho with those penetrating indigo eyes and a mutilating buzz axe...shiver...it just conjures too...

Pornogami

$13.06 from Amazon »

Here we have a book about one of my favorite topics. Yeah, that's right. Origami. Apologies that the only samples I could find during my Google image search of the sexy paper creation instructions contained in Pornogami:...

Resident Evil Samurai Edge Replica

Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Remote Control Superhero

$345 from RcSuperhero »

A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the...

Thorn Dice

$27.20 - $85 from Shapeways »

Pain, blood, Thorn Dice: you gotta pay to play. Meandering threads of contemporary CAD technology intertwine to form polyhedral dice bodies dotted with protruding thorns and varying numerical sequences that accommodate...