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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/the-big-coloring-book-of-sex-3218.jpg "The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions")
According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently, it also more...
/st-happens-so-get-over-it-6172.jpg "S**t Happens So Get Over It")
Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use a reminder more...
/the-nanoblimp-6487.jpg "The NanoBlimp")
Admittedly, when I think "dogfight", the next words that pop into my head aren't typically "helium balloons". However, I am learning to be more creatively minded. For example, I recently applied cream cheese to my all-beef frank*. So when I first heard about dogfighting with the NanoBlimp, a nearly weightless apparatus held aloft by a helium-filled balloon and guided by human thumbs on remote control, more...
/The-Best-Wrong-Test-Answers-Book-2064.jpg "The Best Wrong Test Answers Book")
The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers. The 250 entries more...
/resident-evil-samurai-edge-5152.jpg "Resident Evil Samurai Edge Replica")
Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident Evil fans, more...
/dragonslayer-leather-armor-3714.jpg "Dragon Slayer Leather Armor")
The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it. Designed and handcrafted from 7/8 oz leather and 5 oz oiled leather by Etsy vendor Nathan Rodriguez, the Dragon Slayer's Bastion full upper modular armor comprises 13 separate more...
/totoro-cosplay-cloak-5919.jpg "Totoro Cosplay Cloak")
Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is made of polar more...
/glowinthedark-spit-balls-5615.jpg "Glow-in-the-Dark Spit Balls")
How many things are there not to like about spit balls that glow in the dark, cost under $5, grow to 200 times their starting size when soaked in water...or, you know, spit...and explode upon target impact? Zero. Zero things clocks more...
/batbane-mask-5711.jpg "Batbane Mask")
Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any better? Wait, wearing more...
/drunkquest-a-fantasy-4806.jpg "DrunkQuest - A Fantasy Drinking Game")
It's Dungeons & Dragons for the boozin' 21+ crowd. DrunkQuest combines fast-paced card game mechanics with shades of the D&D fantasy world with a few 6-packs and a liter or two of Captain Morgan for a party game of competitive more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/darth-vader-and-son-6907.jpg "Darth Vader and Son")
What if Darth Vader had been a good dad? Or even had just announced his paternity to Luke sometime before he got into that imminent death predicament? Darth Vader and Son not only speculates on this topic, but does so with minimal words more...
/sky-balls-helium-filled-3570.jpg "Skyballs - Helium Filled Superballs")
What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet in the more...
/putter-pool-6401.jpg "Putter Pool")
Now that NFL powerhouse and perennial Super Bowl favorites the Seattle Seahawks have been knocked out of the playoffs, I'm going to have to find something else to do from within the 6' radius surrounding my recliner. Hey, I like pool. more...
/deer-antler-handlebars-6660.jpg "Deer Antler Handlebars")
Taylor Simpson accidentally plowed into a deer with his Knight XV while barreling through Poughkeepsie several months ago and felt so bad about it he swore off driving altogether and converted the slain buck's antlers into a set of more...
/hitch-er-up-stripper-pole-4912.jpg "Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole")
Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many miles the more...
/remote-control-superhero-2929.jpg "Remote Control Superhero")
A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars of the jungle more...
/pat-the-zombie-book-3095.jpg "Pat the Zombie Book")
Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this time, Bunny more...
/nintendo-collectors-edition-6680.jpg "Nintendo Collector's Edition Monopoly")
Nintendo Collector's Edition Monopoly means I get Zelda's Sword! And I plan to use it in a reign of terror against Mario's chump Mushroom and Pikman's brokedown Rocket. I imagine that wily Mario Star and Samus' Helmet will probably more...
/wobble-chess-set-6291.jpg "Wobble Chess Set")
Hey, a chess set that's fun to play with even for people who don't know how to play chess. Umbra brings the world of Wobble to its thinker's game, either to add some whimsy to what is otherwise an insufferably boring, hours-long endeavor, more...
/ouya-opensource-video-game-4257.jpg "OUYA HD TV Video Game Console")
OUYA creators Julie Uhrman and Yves Behar have said it best: There is nothing more gratifying than chillin' on the couch in Goodwill scrubs and a Nightwing hoodie, sipping on grape Fanta, and getting the news that the princess you have more...
/russian-roulette-for-amateurs-3559.jpg "Russian Roulette for Amateurs")
Since most of us would rather be wet than dead, this water balloon variation on Russian Roulette is likely to generate a bit more participation and enthusiasm as a try-your-luck party game than its bullet-based counterpart. Just fill more...
/underwater-dogs-subsurface-5450.jpg "Underwater Dogs - Subsurface Fetching Photos")
How the heckfire did Seth Casteel even come up with this idea of photographing dogs fetching balls and sticks and other lures of underwater canine submersion? Its hilarity--with one wrench of pure horror in the form of a snarling yellow more...
/back-to-the-future-7280.jpg "Back to the Future Encyclopedia")
I figured some people would question my substitution of "encyclopedia" for "lexicon" in the above Back to the Future Encyclopedia title, which represents any McFly lover's dream publication, A Matter of Time: The Unauthorized Back to more...
/lego-bat-cave-5403.jpg "LEGO Bat Cave")
Wayne Hussey and Carlyle Livingston, ye builders of the LEGO Bat Cave, I think you might win Batman Creations Fabricated by People Obsessed with the Dark Knight for 2012. Motorcycle suits be damned, I'd much rather have this jaw-dropping more...
/assassins-creed-connor-5517.jpg "Assassin's Creed Connor Kenway Costume")
Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means I may more...
/District-9-Prawn-Rifle-Claw-567.jpg?mode=crop "District 9 Prawn Rifle & Claw")
An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume all night. more...
/presidential-monster-action-6584.jpg "Presidential Monster Action Figures")
Just one question: how did Romney as the Ronmy make it into this set of Presidential Monster Action Figures? Some wishful thinker jump the gun on production? Because if we're throwing in any old yayhoo just for running, how's about more...
/gyrowheel-self-stabilizing-6519.jpg "Gyrowheel - Self-Stabilizing Training Wheel")
Anyone who's tried to teach a kid to ride a bike without training wheels knows that teaching a kid to ride a bike without training wheels is kind of a pain in the ass. First of all, they have trouble following simple instructions, such more...
/dragon-scale-leather-armor-5079.jpg "Dragon Scale Leather Armor")
Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion. But let more...
/precision-machined-dice-6161.jpg "Precision Machined Metal Dice")
Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum; Stainless more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
