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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/hunting-zombies-in-a-shopping-3319.jpg "Mall Massacre Zombie Hunting Expedition")
As if $80 Jessica Simpson shoes, $14,000 Victoria Beckham handbags, and $50 Adam Levine perfume weren't scary enough, now the mall, just like the bowling alley, has been overtaken by zombies. Your mission: kill them. Kill...
/cage-of-death-crocodile-dive-6421.jpg "Cage of Death Crocodile Dive")
I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...
/cleatskins-7371.jpg "Cleatskins")
Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards against potentially injurious and definitely humiliating trips and falls on non-cleat-friendly surfaces. Also, they protect the cleats themselves, which probably are not...
/anatomical-gummi-bear-in-clear-4588.jpg "Anatomical Gummi Bears")
This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for eating...
/thorn-dice-7015.jpg "Thorn Dice")
Pain, blood, Thorn Dice: you gotta pay to play. Meandering threads of contemporary CAD technology intertwine to form polyhedral dice bodies dotted with protruding thorns and varying numerical sequences that accommodate all...
/the-jedi-path-a-manual-for-6164.jpg "The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force")
According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled Millennium Falcon, me? As this chick at the gym I have a massive crush on until she starts talking would say: O...M...G.! Seriously?!...
/gaspowered-led-wings-4978.jpg "Gas-Powered LED Wings")
Gas-powered mechanical wizard John Paul Rishea of Bionic Concepts follows up his Exo-Gauntlet Exoskeleton with this set of searing blue LED wings waiting to be scooped up by the first fancier of flight with $830. The wings...
/borderlands-psycho-bandit-buzz-7032.jpg "Borderlands Psycho Bandit Mask & Buzz Axe")
I'm not the biggest Borderlands fan. The name alone carries enough of an allusion to Canada for me. Then once I see a Psycho with those penetrating indigo eyes and a mutilating buzz axe...shiver...it just conjures too many...
/monovelo-the-human-powered-3128.jpg "Monovelo - The Human Powered Monowheel")
Monowheels debuted in the late 19th century, but Monovelos claim to be the inaugural human-powered installation of the 21st. A nested unicycle of sorts, the Monovelo pedals and steers similar to a conventional bike, but instead...
/stinky-gaming-footboard-7396.jpg "Stinky Gaming Footboard")
As the MYO and LEAP eliminate computer mice and keyboards for the hands, SteLuLu Technologies introduces a new gaming apparatus for the feet. Used in tandem with finger controllers, the Stinky Footboard adds one more dimension--the...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/judge-dredd-lawgiver-5071.jpg "Judge Dredd Lawgiver")
From the meticulous maestro who brought us the Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle comes a similarly immaculate replica from Judge Dredd. Fabricator The Kingpin touts his custom-made Lawgiver as a precise copy of the one Judge Stallone...
/dungeons-dragons-clue-7905.jpg "Dungeons & Dragons Clue")
Dungeons & Dragons Clue, that seems appropriate. No joke, it really does. An obvious marriage, really, not one of these Montague-Capulet mergers that rains death and mayhem upon both families. Though I guess the very natures...
/puzzle-pod-cryptex-packaging-5604.jpg "Puzzle Pod - Cryptex Packaging")
What better way to enjoy giving a gift as much as receiving one than to present it to its recipient in a Puzzle Pod? For this DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will likely...
/batman-chess-set-6336.jpg "Batman Chess Set")
Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman...
/the-snuggie-sutra-7017.jpg "The Snuggie Sutra")
The Snuggie Sutra, Lex Friedman and Megan Morrison's how-to guide to fleecing up your sex life, brings 3 things to mind. 1) The lingering misery of winter. 2) March Madness. 3) Yam bags....
/machine-of-death-the-game-of-7039.jpg "Machine of Death: The Game of Creative Assassination")
Just when I think games have been completely overshadowed by Breaking Bad viewing parties and orgies as the most popular indoor group activities, Kickstarter projects like Machine of Death: The Game of Creative Assassination...
/american-horror-story-rubber-6770.jpg "American Horror Story Rubber Man Suit")
Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...
/the-legend-of-zelda-hyrule-6197.jpg "The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia")
People who cannot read Japanese rejoice. Dark Horse Books and Nintendo have published an English version of The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, which is now available for pre-order. The Triforce unites and soars to the Western...
/rrated-talking-ted-6283.jpg "R-Rated Talking Ted")
Why do people always diss Mark Wahlberg? He makes such quality movies with filthy-mouthed talking teddy bears. And from forth the cinematic masterpiece that was that Ted comes the the plush masterpiece that is this Ted. A...
/cards-against-humanity-a-2812.jpg "Cards Against Humanity - A Vicious Party Game")
Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large group...
/naughty-connect-the-dots-5871.jpg "Naughty Connect the Dots (NSFW)")
Geez, even connect the dots sex looks complicated. There must be 200 numbers in each of these puzzles, and good luck trying to figure out what's lurking behind the connective ink lines before putting in the elbow grease. Unless...
/the-ultimate-deck-54-unique-6672.jpg "The Ultimate Deck - 54 Unique Playing Cards")
Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask and...
/Steampunk-Optimus-Prime-388.jpg?mode=crop "Steampunk Optimus Prime")
My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...
/TRON-LEGO-Light-Cycle-529.jpg?mode=crop "TRON LEGO Light Cycle")
If you can't afford the $55k price tag on the real TRON Light Cycle there's always this. And it's not a bad consolation prize. Are LEGOS the hippest toy around or what?...
/poseable-sterling-silver-lego-7753.jpg "Poseable Sterling Silver LEGO Minifig")
For $475, a single hunk of solid .925 sterling silver cast as a LEGO Minifigure wouldn't do me much good. But divide that hunk of sterling into 8 separate pieces, and then rejoin them as fully moveable and poseable parts...
/foosball-coffee-table-6621.jpg "Foosball Coffee Table")
I prefer to use my coffee table to play old school Nintendo, but I understand there are some out there even older school than I am who are more down with using theirs to play foosball. By the way, to those under the age of...
/drunkquest-the-90-proof-seas-7720.jpg "DrunkQuest: The 90 Proof Seas")
As follow-up to a highly successful Kickstarter campaign and production run, the drinking/magic card game DrunkQuest has launched its first expansion: The 90 Proof Seas. In case you missed our feature on the original game...
/people-i-want-to-punch-in-the-2965.jpg "People I Want to Punch in the Face")
A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...
/the-big-coloring-book-of-sex-3218.jpg "The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions")
According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...
/The-Best-Wrong-Test-Answers-Book-2064.jpg "The Best Wrong Test Answers Book")
The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....
/the-art-of-fixing-things-7104.jpg "The Art of Fixing Things")
The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able...
/micro-butterfly-rc-plane-6699.jpg "Micro Butterfly RC Plane")
While being on the receiving end of a buzzing, pesky winged bug's attentions can prompt minor fits of rage, I feel like if I could control the insect, and make it evoke these sentiments and actions from those who are not me...
/giant-squishy-beasts-6392.jpg "Giant Squishy Beasts")
Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....
/dragonslayer-leather-armor-3714.jpg "Dragon Slayer Leather Armor")
The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....
/resident-evil-samurai-edge-5152.jpg "Resident Evil Samurai Edge Replica")
Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...
/st-happens-so-get-over-it-6172.jpg "S**t Happens So Get Over It")
Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...
/roulette-wheel-iq-cube-7186.jpg "Roulette Wheel IQ Cube")
I guess anyone who can solve the Roulette Wheel IQ Cube must be pretty smart. I feel pretty smart just for figuring out what it is based on the manufacturer's bold, caps, red-fonted, syntactically-challenged description of...
/batbane-mask-5711.jpg "Batbane Mask")
Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any better?...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
