Zombie Tarot Cards

By: on January 25, 2013
  • Zombie Tarot Cards
  • Zombie Tarot Cards
  • Zombie Tarot Cards
  • Zombie Tarot Cards
Check It Out

I don't think it would be that hard to be a Zombie Tarot Card reader. Everyone's fate would be the same: death. I suppose you would have to get a little creative in describing the specifics of each poor sap's demise, but I'm sure some of the lunatic bloggers of the Internet could be of assistance in that endeavor. (Feel free to use the Dude Product Tips form to request a few choice nuggets from me.)

In the zombified universe of occult readings, tarot cards' wands become limbs and pentacles biohazard symbols. The Major Arcana? Chock full of shambling corpses. The deck includes 78 cards spanning from an elderly Queen of Swords holding a semiautomatic to a wee Face of Wands gnawing on a bloody bone from his highchair. Also accompanying the set is a 96-page full-color book explaining both how to forecast futures of pain and destruction using one of three different tarot card layouts, as well as tips for surviving the still-impending Zombie Apocalypse if you happen to get a client insistent on fighting his or her grim predictions.

The Zombie Tarot Card deck has received a highly positive response from Amazon reviewers, both those who appreciate their campy nature, and those who actually believe in this creepy WhoopiGoldbergfromGhost BS that makes me very uncomfortable, particularly when I draw a card like the Cups kid on the beach, who appears not only to be looking at me, but through me into the depths of my tarnished soul.

Check it out

Throwing Card Knives


Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

Buy Now

Drunk Stoned or Stupid

$16 from Amazon »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

Buy Now

Cards Against Humanity - A Vicious Party Game

$25 from Amazon »

Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large...

Check it out

code:deck Playing Cards

$10 from Varianto:25 »

Who wants some undiluted geekery? code:deck is a standard set of playing cards individually described by rank and suit in one of 13 different programming languages. As maker Varianto:25 points out, the cards should arouse...

Check it out

Dice Rings

$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Check it out

Carbon Fiber Playing Cards

$120 from Kickstarter »

Yes, they shuffle. But they can't do the bridge/easy stack after the riffle, so if you want a deck of carbon fiber playing cards, you'll have to be willing to press them together and realign them into a neat pile yourself....

Buy Now

Black Playing Cards

$11.95 from Amazon »

Black like my ex's heart, and black like the magic I'm going to use to make her rue the day she left me crushed and dejected inside a four square. Anyone who wants to know what's wrong with me, here's your answer: 1)...

Check it out

The Ultimate Deck - 54 Unique Playing Cards

$24.95 - $64.95 from Dan & Dave »

Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask...

Check it out

Precision Machined Metal Dice

$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types:...

Check it out

Monochromatic Deck Of Cards

$16.50 from Gents Supply Co. »

In a world where all people are treated a equals (except women and minorities and dwarfs and handicapped people) we approach a time where we need everything to be equal. No card gets special treatment. They all must look...

Check it out

Prohibition Playing Cards Box Set

$125 from Ellusionist »

Gambling. Drinking. Breaking the law. Three favorite vices rolled into one boxed cocktail. With a lemon twist of magic. Ellusionist has put together 6 American classics from one of our most scandalous eras in history....