51

Bears vs. Babies Monster-Building Card Game

By: on November 15, 2016
$29.99
Check It Out

The people who rattled our game nights with Exploding Kittens think we're up for a new challenge: an army of evil and grotesque babies. Bears vs. Babies is another ridiculous card game filled with implausible (but not impossible!) realities, but this one requires players to build "handsome, incredible monsters" to fight off "horrible, awful babies."

Like Exploding Kittens, Bears vs. Babies has an NSFW edition, but the core game is kid-friendly and rounds take only about 20 minutes to play. The basics:

  • You draw cards to build a defense of bear-monsters. They come as individual head, torso, arm, and leg cards that fit together to form complete, mottled beasts.
  • Drawn baby cards play to the center of the table, where they form an army with the likes of Portuguese Man O' Baby, Scary Hairbaby, and Beard Baby. The babies remind me a little of Garbage Pail Kids, though the family version of Bears vs. Babies isn't nearly as gross or offensive as the best trading cards of the 80s. I haven't seen cards from the NSFW edition yet.
  • Players start wars between their creatures and the band of vicious pant crappers by throwing down Provoke cards, which ignites the baby army and forces everyone at the table to fight them at once. Players whose creatures are bigger than the attackers (i.e., if there are 3 babies in the army, but your bear is made up of 4 cards) win the battle and get to eat the vile infant insurgents, while those with wee little defenders get taken out.
  • Even though everyone must fight the babies at once, the point of Bears vs. Babies is to eliminate other players by provoking their army before opponents have big enough bears to win.

Bears vs. Babies is up for backing here on Kickstarter through November 17, 2016.

Buy Now

Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person

$9.01 from Amazon »

...Without Actually Improving Yourself. As a self-help book, Faking It adds a delightful twist: you don't have to journal or meditate or talk about your feelings or change at all to help yourself. You just have to perfect...

Check it out

iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

Buy Now

Wooden Cat Pile Stacking Game

$19.99 from Amazon »

This desktop-sized Wooden Cat Pile game is the only way I'd let another 6 cats in my house. The only! Do you hear that, She-Ra: Princess of Power? And agreeing even to that much is very generous of me. I can already see...

Buy Now

The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

$125.90 from Amazon »

It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

Buy Now

Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

Check it out

Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

Buy Now

QB54 - Lawn Chair Football Game

$115 from Amazon »

Get your tailgating season started as frikkin' early as NFL preseason with the QB54, an outdoor football game built around a pair of packable lawn chairs....

Buy Now

Fire Missiles Cigarette Lighter Button

$14.97 from Amazon »

Fire Missiles. A cathartic button for your road rage and, ironically, a healthier insert for your car's cigarette lighter slot than a cigarette lighter. Oh no...wait. I just read the Fire Missiles button actually "functions...

Buy Now

The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...

Check it out

Go F Yourself Condom Card

$9.99 - $12.99 from FunnyCondoms.com »

I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...

Buy Now

Drunk Stoned or Stupid

$16 from Amazon »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...