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2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 Box

By: on December 04, 2016
$19.95
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Wait, what? Topps says its 2016 Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 cards are suitable for ages 6+? The box set is listed as a "brand new 2016" edition, so you'd think they realize it's 2016. And that no hypersensitive, Purel-obsessed helicopter parent is going to let their 6-year-old play with, or even look at, that...uh...Garbage.

My mama let me have Garbage Pail Kids from age 4, of course. But things are different now, with all the cyber bullying and real-life bullying and internet trolling and calling a fat person fat being worse than calling them an F-wad. I don't know who today would buy their kids a 4-pack box set of Garbage Pail Kids that also includes 3 special Gross Bear bonus stickers you cannot find anywhere else, plus 1 Puke Parallel card.

Good thing too, because those of us who grew up in 1980s GPK primetime are going to want these sets for ourselves.

Topps' 2016 Garbage Pail Kids series is called "American as Apple Pie in Your Face." It celebrates (i.e., perverts and ridicules) the history of the USA with 9 brand new themes. They include: parodies of uniquely American things, such as cowboys, BBQ, surfing, and muscle cars; American Swept Under the Rug, aspects of America we'd rather keep hidden; the 2016 Summer Olym-Picks; and America's Pastimes.

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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Village

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KFC Internet Escape Pod

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

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Cards Against The Iron Throne

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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This is the world's smallest violin, and I'm gonna play it just for you...whiners! So many whiners! At work. On the road. At the checkout line. In my inbox. And the biggest one of all: right there in my bathroom mirror....

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

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The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Deadpool Christmas Tree Ornaments

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These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers....

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Anonymously Send Sh*t

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If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...

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Boob Cube

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The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...