20

2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 Box

By: on December 04, 2016
$19.95
Check It Out

Wait, what? Topps says its 2016 Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 cards are suitable for ages 6+? The box set is listed as a "brand new 2016" edition, so you'd think they realize it's 2016. And that no hypersensitive, Purel-obsessed helicopter parent is going to let their 6-year-old play with, or even look at, that...uh...Garbage.

My mama let me have Garbage Pail Kids from age 4, of course. But things are different now, with all the cyber bullying and real-life bullying and internet trolling and calling a fat person fat being worse than calling them an F-wad. I don't know who today would buy their kids a 4-pack box set of Garbage Pail Kids that also includes 3 special Gross Bear bonus stickers you cannot find anywhere else, plus 1 Puke Parallel card.

Good thing too, because those of us who grew up in 1980s GPK primetime are going to want these sets for ourselves.

Topps' 2016 Garbage Pail Kids series is called "American as Apple Pie in Your Face." It celebrates (i.e., perverts and ridicules) the history of the USA with 9 brand new themes. They include: parodies of uniquely American things, such as cowboys, BBQ, surfing, and muscle cars; American Swept Under the Rug, aspects of America we'd rather keep hidden; the 2016 Summer Olym-Picks; and America's Pastimes.

Check it out

Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

Check it out

Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

Buy Now

Cereal Killer Bowl

$24 from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

Buy Now

Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s....

Buy Now

Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

Buy Now

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$8.55 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

Check it out

School of Hard Blocks - Alphabet Blocks for Adults

The School of Hard Blocks is a set of 12 alphabet blocks modeled after the traditional wood children's blocks, but made of concrete. And made for adults who need to learn, ponder, or build up their own ABCs. Adultery....

Check it out

Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...

Buy Now

Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person

$11.66 from Amazon »

...Without Actually Improving Yourself. As a self-help book, Faking It adds a delightful twist: you don't have to journal or meditate or talk about your feelings or change at all to help yourself. You just have to perfect...

Check it out

Arcade Sofa

By: Harow »

1991 brought Street Fighter II. 2017 brings the Street Fighter II Arcade Sofa. Relive your 90s glory playing the game...and then maybe get a different type of game on...on it....

Buy Now

Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

Check it out

The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...