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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

By: on February 17, 2013
$7,750
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Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring, has released the opportunity for couples to consummate their love...or just get nasty, depending on your outlook...in the fabled scenario of Airplane Soaring Upwards of 5,280 Feet. And although you can do it in the bathroom coach-style if you want, the Luxury part of this Mile High Experience means a first-class upgrade to anywhere within the entire cabin. Atop silky pillows, fine linens, and scattered rose petals no less. OK, I have three things to say. 1) $7,750 is a lot of money. 2) I haven't felt the need to quote Fred Durst in almost a decade. 3) I am going to pay $7,750 to have sex on an airplane, and when I'm done and people (i.e., women, not men) ask me what the Han Solo I was thinking, I'll say I did it all for the nookie. C'mon. The nookie. C'mon....

Luxury Mile High Club jets depart from Farnborough, England. On the day of your airborne erotic event, a presumably discreet and hard of hearing pilot will meet you and your designated hay roller at the airstrip for a safety briefing, followed by a Champagne-and-chocolate accented takeoff. Once the plane reaches its cruising altitude and the seatbelt sign goes off, feel free to follow suit with all other articles touching your person. (Getting) lucky fliers will have catering, a complimentary bar, and around an hour of sexy time over Hampshire all to themselves. Post-landing, should they still look moderately sober and presentable, passengers can elect to take a few photos with the plane and pilot.

Note: Please do not be misled by the featured photo. Partakers in the Luxury Mile High Club Experience must supply their own sexual partner. And, yes, "partner" is singular for a reason. Mile-high threesomes are still reserved only for non-mortals, such as Thor and Ryan Gosling.

The Luxury Mile High Club experience is a Dude Gift for Valentine's Day pick.

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