Do I want a 5-foot foam sword with a 45-inch blade and beaming blue LEDs? Uh, does Cartman want some Cheesy Poofs? More importantly, is a rhetorical question referencing South Park still culturally relevant?
ThinkGeek's Titan Sword will slash and slice exactly nothing in your next throwdown with Jaime Lannister, but it will earn you major street cred on YouTube when you film mock fight sequences and turn them into a cosplay music video (head straight to the 2:00 mark).
Titan swords arrive divided in two and tucked away in a handy carrying case. Click the pieces to connect, switch on the LEDs, and off you go to impress like-minded compatriots and convince everyone else Ronald Reagan made a huge mistake shutting down all the loony bins.
Muchas danke to The Awesomer.