The Best Gifts for Women in 2018
Figuring out the best gifts for women in 2018 shouldn't have been too hard for me. It's not like my wife is subtle about telling me what she wants. Or writing her Christmas gift wish list on an 8-1/2" x 11" piece of paper and hanging it on our fridge. Or leaving Post-It Notes around the house with the heading "Gift Idea" on them, followed by, presumably, a gift she would like me to buy for her.
But I don't want to be stereotypical or sexist or a bleepin' bleep-hole or any of the other words assigned to men who say they know all about women and what they want, so with my collection of the best gifts for women this year, I've tried real hard to run the gamut. You know, not just include vibrators and sexy underwear (though there are some of both!) And no exercise equipment. None. Not even anything that could be construed as exercise equipment.
I learned not to do that the hard way last year.
Note: Prices for items in the collection of the best gifts for women in 2018 are shown as they were at printing. Prices are subject to change.
Kijaro Kubie Multi-Use Outdoor Blanket
Count the ways you can configure your Kijaro Kubie! This multi-use blanket is shaped to perform 8 unique outdoor functions (albeit not at once). They include: insulated poncho; ground cover; sleeping bag; pillow; hammock; hammock liner; under quilt; and shade canopy.
Grasslamp Modern Desktop Garden
Grasslamp designer Marko Vuckovic has developed an award-winning way to combat the darkness, melancholy, and ugliness of being indoors: a grassy knoll for your desktop. Sure, you could fill the space with a houseplant, or a low-maintenance succulent for a lot less, but Vuckovic's Grasslamp brings with it a smooth modern design, LED lighting for your space, and a dirt-free existence.
The Grasslamp cultivates its wheatgrass, or other micro-greens, using only water and LED light. You don't have mess around with, or make a mess with, soil here. The LEDs simulate sunlight, so you also don't have to worry about Grasslamp placement in the home or office.
EEZ-Y Inverted Umbrella
With their Inverted Umbrella EEZ-Y has managed to make the first umbrella turned inside out I don't want to throw on the ground and stomp on because it's turned inside out. And in fact, when this double-sided rain shield's canopy is open, its layers are strong and windproof. The Inverted part doesn't happen until you want to put the umbrella down and head inside, at which point a reverse closing system kicks in and flips it over before retracting the telescoping handle instead of lowering it. The benefit: no dripping wet umbrella rubbing all over your clothes when you get in / out of the car, and no water puddles on the floor.
3D Unicorn Underwear
I bet if Juvenile saw these 3D Unicorn Underwear from Knicker Rocker he would think twice before telling the ladies to back that azz up. The panties are quite the statement piece, combining dreamy, fantastical unicorns with sexy lingerie with a definitive warning of the consequences for making any uninvited advancements on the lady wearing them. Skewered by a unicorn. A rough way to go.
Yaasa Infinity Blanket with Celliant Tech
A blanket with special (FDA-determined special) Celliant fibers that give it the ability to increase blood flow, aid in recovery, and get more restful sleep just by wrapping up all Neflix & chill cozy on the couch in it? Yaasa, please!
LoafNest Super Easy Dutch Oven Bread Maker
The LoafNest kit consists of a 2-piece oval cast iron dome, with a removable silicone liner that sits inside the bottom piece. When baking bread the liner prevents your dough from sticking, and the dome injects it with 360-degree heat - dutch oven-style, but shaped like a loaf of bread.
The benefit of using the dutch oven and liner is that they do all the work for you, eliminating the need to knead, shape, and fuss with your bread dough to prep it. You preheat the LoafNest in the oven for at least 45 minutes, and then dump your risen dough into the liner to bake for another 45 or so.
Prior to that, you'll spend 5 minutes or less measuring out flour, water, salt, and yeast (for the basic recipe) and then about 18 hours sticking the dough in a corner and letting it rise. (Yes, I said it was a super easy process, not a super fast one.)
Meural Canvas Smart Digital Art Frame
Meural, Meural on the wall, show me a Dali, show me a Warhol. The Meural Canvas is a digital art frame with a WiFi connection that displays any one of thousands of pieces of famous art, up-and-coming artists' works, your own artwork, or your favorite photographs on its 27" diagonal surface. Any one of them, or all of them. You can change the art in your Meural whenever you want, and in seconds using the Meural app, online dashboard, or just a wave of your hand in front of the frame.
Flowers & Sparkles Handmade Fishnet Stockings
My wife says Lirika Matoshi's fishnets, handmade stockings with intricate flowers and other ethereal-nature-fairy elements woven in, are works of art. Yeah, I can see that. But what I mostly see is that the tights are fishnets. And flowers. And baubles. And sparkles. And legs. Oh my. I don't think this fashion is from Kansas, Toto.
3D Fireworks Light Bulbs
Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, the 4th of July, birthday parties, Netflix & chill...these 3D fireworks light bulbs would make delightful decor for pretty much every holiday and special occasion.
46"-Tall Wine Glass
This 46"-tall wine glass is both a step up and a step down from the Guzzle Buddy.
Step up: it holds way more wine. Maybe even a Nebuchadnezzar's worth, though the only measurement I can find for the glass is its 46" height, no info on the globe's volume. Suffice it to say, though, that could be one big ass glass of Cab to drown your sorrows - maybe even your whole body if you're not careful! - in.
Step down: despite holding an enormous amount of delicious wine, the 46" tall wine glass presents no good way of drinking from it. No super long straw. No extra-large sippy cup lid. Not even an oversized ladle for transferring wine from 46" glass to 7" glass punch bowl-style.
BoxLock Smart Padlock for Package Deliveries
Package thieves be gone! BoxLock, answering the call of necessity...or the call of mother...or however you apply that invention saying...was developed in response to the giant leap in our online shopping habits, and the corresponding rise in package theft. The post office, UPS, Fed Ex, DHL, whomever delivers the goods she got on Prime Day or the handcrafted Bowchair you ordered for the two of you, is probably going to leave the boxes they come in on your porch. Alone. Exposed. Beacons for burgling hands. The BoxLock padlock system aims to provide a secure, but accessible, a smart way to lock up your boxes when they're delivered.
Secret Woods Ring
Straight from a dream / snow globe / LOTR set to your finger. Secret Woods carves wearable enchantments, a line of rings topped with abstract and magical scenes of nature that look like visions inside rough-cut crystal balls.
All Secret Woods rings are handmade, and all are unique in construction. The company says it's actually impossible to make one exactly the same as the last. Ring bands come from various species of fresh wood, and the fantastical landscapes jewelry resin.
Kelvin Coats Heated Jackets
This winter, Kelvin Coats bring on the warm, the toasty, and, in my case, the wife who isn't perpetually staring at me with chattering teeth or goosing me from behind with hands that feel like they just came out of a cryo chamber. Kelvin makes battery powered heated jackets for men and women. Their line includes at least a half dozen weights and styles of each, each fitted with a network of carbon fiber warming zones you can activate for a heat boost with the press of a button on the coat's left breast.
Hydro Flask Food Flasks
At 12 or 18 ounces, Food Flasks are sized for tucking into work or school lunches, as well as packing on hikes, ski trips, and tailgates. Hydro Flask says they're "like a mini-fridge that you can actually carry." Or a mini heat box, if it's gumbo or chili you've got on the menu today.
It's like sunshine on a cloudy day. Well, as close to sunshine as a warm yellow lightbulb can get anyway. Anyone looking to add some cumulus to their home decor can build the effect with cloud chandeliers ranging in size from 16" x 16" to 39" x 39". The lampshades are made of a lightweight polymer material that achieves a pretty realistic puffy cloud likeness, right down to my being able to see the head of Lionel Richie in their design.
The Womanizer Vibrator
Like a fine wine, and your wife or girlfriend, this lady toy just keeps getting better. The Womanizer shown here comes in Deluxe, Pro, and XL versions, all waterproof and with 8 levels of intensity.
The German-made toy lures in ladies and the hapless, gift-buying men in their lives with its PleasureAir technology, a feature that stimulates the clitoris without direct contact. No, I don't know why that translates to longer, more intense, multiple, and no-fail orgasms either, but the number of reviews containing the word "amazing" in them suggests touchless clitoral stimulation isn't just pseudoscience or lip service.