Meaty Trends & Cheesy Ideas: Unique Burger Gear & Merch

I wouldn't be surprised if the secret ingredient to concocting a jet black burger that looks like it's been roasted on the flames of hell was one that inflicted a weeklong case of Montezuma's Revenge. But, somewhat ironically, these Satan's Especiales achieve their burnt & cursed aesthetic (whilst maintaining a soft chewy bun and succulent juicy beef patty) from medicinal charcoal, a mixture traditionally used to stop diarrhea.

Instructables contributor spunk began experimenting with the black burgers you see above after reading about a similar black food trend in Japan. Those who want to replicate the Hellfire Burgers...or maybe you'd prefer to think of them as Bat Burgers or Dark Knight Sliders...can get their full background, recipe, and cooking instructions here.

As for the black magic, follow the link below to get the burgers' requisite charcoal. spunk mentions having tried both charcoal tablets and charcoal powder, with a preference for the powder since it's easier to handle and cheaper to buy.

I'll have a quarter pounder with...please. Yes please, Master, bite me! Bite me hard and put the marks of your ownership on my flesh while I, your slave, receive my punishment in complete submission. Silently mowing down on the natural food grade silicone rubber of my cheeseburger ball gag, and contemplating the magnificence of your rule...and also what I'm going to order at 5 Guys when we're done here.

In what is probably the best (and only?) demonstration of whimsical, yet practical, BDSM I've seen yet, Gorge Ohwell presents the Silencing Slider. Handmade and ergonomically designed, this fat patty and glutinous bun will "comfortably plug even the loudest of burger holes."

A picture of a Porn Burger is worth a thousand drools. Maybe even a lick. A bite. At the very least a boner. In Porn Burger: Hot Buns and Juicy Beefcakes, self-described "burger pervert" Matthew Ramsey indulges us with the most illicit photographs of beef between bread (and mac 'n' cheese patties, and woven quilts of bacon, and sigh veggie alternatives) I've ever seen.

Slice of Sauce is ketchup meets Kraft Singles meets Fruit Roll-Ups meets your burger. Your new and improved mess-free burger, since this dried tomato condiment trades in the globs of red goo for a solid, slim, slick...Slice...of Sauce.

Developed by the daughter of a Michigan Upper Peninsula restauranteur (because of course sliced ketchup is from the UP!) Slice of Sauce sells in packages of 8 individual - but not individually wrapped - squares of condiment that is easy to pack, place, and devour without hassle or cleanup. It's also shelf stable so no refrigeration is required.

My friend Dominic is an electrical engineer who used to work for this company developing a chip to implant in the brains of epileptics that would help predict when they were going to have seizures, and if I had one of those chips in my brain, it would send me a seizure alert right now. A hamburger in the shape of a hot dog?! It's almost too much. It's one strip of bacon wrapped around the outside away from Grand Mal sensory overload. It's...it's...Ham Dogger!...it's a miracle.

Creator, like any good chef, makes hamburgers from scratch. To order. With great care. But unlike just about every other chef out there (jury's still out on Giada) Creator is a robot. An elaborate burger-slinging machine. And not like your Uncle Jerry who always brags about how he was the burger-slinging machine when he worked at White Castle during college. Creator is a legit machine, 14' tall and fitted with 350 sensors, 20 computers, and 50 actuator mechanisms.

Creator works in the SoMa neighborhood of San Francisco, having opened for business at the end of June 2018.