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Funky Foot Care: Strange Products for Your Feet

Posted: March 24, 2020
Funky Foot Care: Strange Products for Your Feet

Feet. Love 'em or hate 'em, you gotta take care of 'em. And if you're game to give some funky foot care a whirl, these items certainly bring the funk, and are ready to toe jam with you. Enjoy my compilation of strange products for your feet.

Callus Shaver

Callus Shaver
Callus Shaver

An oldie but a goodie when it comes to the funky and freaky. My wife uses one of these medieval-looking razor blade contraptions to "shave" the dead and callused skin off her feet. And about every 5th time she takes a little too much off the top if you know what I mean. And let me tell you, big toes, those piggies are bleeders.

$6.95 ➠ Amazon

Ingrown Toenail Correction Tool

Ingrown Toenail Correction Tool

Nothing like fighting the inflicted pain of an ingrown toenail with...inflicting pain to remove the ingrown toenail. This ingrown toenail correction tool looks like a torture device created by evil nail salon owners. Inept ones, too, if the reviews are any indication of how well the device works.

$7.89 ➠ Amazon

NakeFit Stick-On Shoes

NakeFit Stick-On Shoes
NakeFit Stick-On Shoes

NakeFit stick-on shoes - or, to be more precise, NakeFit hypoallergenic adhesive pads - remind me of when I'm walking barefoot and start to feel like something's stuck to my heel, but I'm loath to look down because I just know it's going to be someone's dirty old Band-Aid. Except with NakeFits the thing stuck to my foot would be supposed to be there. It would also be helping to protect me from the dirty old Band-Aids in my path, along with any sharp objects and fungal infections looking to latch on to my feet too.

$17.99 to $19.99 ➠ Nakefit

Baby Foot Human Molting Peel

Baby Foot Human Molting Peel
Baby Foot Human Molting Peel

I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake oil.

Five to 7 days after you follow the package directions to apply a Baby Foot bootie filled with Baby foot solution, the dead skin on your feet begins to peel off in sheets. No joke, and no exaggeration. There are literally thousands of reviews of this foot beautifier, from all kinds of men and women, and dozens of customer photos showing sickly fascinating individual results.

$25 ➠ Amazon

YogaToes Gel Toe Stretchers

YogaToes Gel Toe Stretchers

If you can get past the fact that they look like the things ladies wedge between their toes to paint them, YogaToes sport gel toe stretchers could make your life from the ankles down a lot more comfortable. YogaToes spread and separate toes up top, down low, and in the middle, pulling them away from the balls of the feet to create increased flexibility and resilience.

Start wearing YogaToes for 10 to 15 minutes per day, and then gradually build up to an hour to help fight bunions, plantar fasciitis, and other sources of foot pain. Athletes can also benefit from using YogaToes to "awaken" the extremities of their feet. Stretched toes gain additional mobility, which enhances agility and balance and reduces post-workout recovery time.

$36.95 ➠ Amazon

Rotating Acupressure Slippers

Rotating Acupressure Slippers

These Rotating Acupressure Slippers are designed to take the place of needles, fingers, and elbows in the treatment of meridian line blockage in the feet. Their makers says wearing the slippers provides a deep foot massage that is good for circulation, and can help reduce pain associated with leg cramps, arthritis, back pain, and headaches.

They also say wearing the slippers hurts like a mother.

$27.99 ➠ Amazon

Nail Fungus Repair Pen

Nail Fungus Repair Pen
Nail Fungus Repair Pen

Gah! Gah! Gah! This nail fungus repair pen is fine, great even, in and of itself, but the "proof that it works" photos? Gah! Gah! Gah! I'm about to lose my lunch, and I haven't even had lunch yet today. Toenails with fungal infections are naaaasty. No wonder people who have them are jumping all over a Nail Repair Pen that (says it) will get crusty, cracking, yellowing spores the hell away from their feet.

$17.97 for a 2-Pack ➠ Amazon

Chainmail Shoes

Chainmail Shoes
Chainmail Shoes

I suppose GoSt Barefoots' decision to name these shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, but I'm calling them Chainmail Shoes. Because it sounds so much cooler. And regardless of which fad the German company is catering to, the fact of the matter is that what lie before us here are foot sheaths made of mother F'in chainmail. Hundreds of individually welded, 4.0 mm stainless steel rings worth of chainmail to be precise.

In addition to heightened traction and grip, purported health benefits of wearing PaleoBarefoot include: reflexology; more precise foot and body movements thanks to direct contact with the earth; Kneipp temperature and moistures effects; and a natural way to challenge and train the entire foot, leading to a reduced risk of injury.

$305 to $430 ➠ GoSt Barefoots

Bunion Corrector

Bunion Corrector
Bunion Corrector

Got a bunion in the oven? This wearable corrective device will pop it right out. Well, maybe not right out. Seems I read somewhere it takes about 9-1/2 months....

The bunion corrector is a foot brace with a rotating design that helps provide bunion pain relief during wear. It's not a permanent fix, even with use over time, but more of a Band-Aid to help alleviate discomfort without impeding your ability to walk and move normally during the day.

$10.99 ➠ Amazon

Near Infrared LED Pad for Foot Pain

Near Infrared LED Pad for Foot Pain

Another device for foot pain relief, this near infrared LED pad addresses generalized aches and discomforts associated with muscle and joint injuries. The inside out ruby slipper can also be used for tired and swollen feet, providing relaxation during its 20-minute auto-shutoff sessions.

$149.99 ➠ Amazon
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