Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie
/Kids-Ultimate-Bearded-Beanie-983.jpg "Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie")
The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects on is psyche well into adulthood.
/stubble-buddy-beard-50292.jpg?mode=crop "Stubble Buddy Beard & Manscaping Vacuum")
Stubble Buddy Beard & Manscaping Vacuum
Um, is that McDreamy hawking the Stubble Buddy beard and manscaping vacuum? If so, sorry this is what life dealt you after the Grey's Anatomy kill-off...
/crochet-penis-blanket-49439.jpg?mode=crop "Crochet Penis Blanket")
Crochet Penis Blanket
Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and <a href="https://www.dudeiwantthat.com/blog/the...
/hot-wheels-car-drawer-knobs-50282.jpg?mode=crop "Hot Wheels Car Drawer Knobs")
Hot Wheels Car Drawer Knobs
No racing, or even rolling, these Hot Wheels, but if you're a GAM* looking to preserve your love of your favorite childhood toy, screw a few of DaRosa's drawer and cabinet knobs onto your dresser, desk, or kitchen cabinets...
Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool
You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...
/wooden-knife-for-kids-50101.jpg?mode=crop "Wooden Knife for Kids")
Wooden Knife for Kids
OK, Wooden Knife for Kids, I'll grant your solid oak "blade" is safe for the kiddos to cut with in the kitchen. And I'll also grant that your skills at slicing a banana, as well as Play-Doh, another of your recommended...
Sap Cap - Weaponized Baseball Hat
Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its...
/micro-crochet-animals-49856.jpg?mode=crop "Micro Crochet Animals")
Micro Crochet Animals
Lookee, lookee at the itty bitty crochet sloth. The teeny tiny crochet elephant. The weeeee little crochet penguin. The...I can't. I have to stop. All these Micro Crochet Animals, these things that make you go awww, are...
/magnus-magnetic-play-couch-48912.jpg?mode=crop "Magnus Magnetic Play Couch")
Magnus Magnetic Play Couch
Magnus is a couch. It's also a fort. A flying car. A Wipeout obstacle. And while Magnus will require some of your kids' imagination to make it into these things, it will also help them out along the way by actually transforming...
/baseball-hat-bicycle-helmet-49500.jpg?mode=crop "Baseball Hat Bicycle Helmet")
Baseball Hat Bicycle Helmet
Look like a style icon riding your bike with this baseball hat bicycle helmet...
/flip-it-bottle-emptying-kit-49460.jpg?mode=crop "Flip-It! Bottle Emptying Kit")
Flip-It! Bottle Emptying Kit
I want Every. Last. Drop. Of my chocolate syrup. My wife will probably want the other 5 Flip-It! caps in this Bottle Emptying Kit for her fancy lotions, liquid soaps, and facial beautifying tinctures she swears are deliberately...
/cache-cap-49168.jpg?mode=crop "Cache Cap")
/full-face-trapper-hat-with-47167.jpg?mode=crop "Full Face Trapper Hat with Goggles")
Full Face Trapper Hat with Goggles
Goofy? Yes. Overkill? Maybe. But let's also review all the ways in which this full face trapper hat - with goggles! - is exactly the piece of headwear you need right now. Or at least need to get as a gift for your girlfriend...