LoveBalls Hot Water Bottle

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Sore legs? Achy back? Feeling butt hurt? Just LoveBalls? LoveBalls hot water bottle to the rescue! Plop these balls down on your tired and tender bits and let them love away the pain. LoveBalls even come with a blue jeans...

Life-Size Posable Cookie Monster Replica

$299.99 Hasbro Pulse »

Life-size. Posable. Photorealistic. Dude, I love me some Cookie Monster, and despite his $300 pledge tag, I'm tempted to back this guy on Hasbro Pulse. The Cookie Monster isn't just a cornerstone of my youth, he's like...

TF-19 WASP Flamethrower Drone Attachment

$1,499 Throwflame.com »

Psshh, I need a flamethrower attachment for my drone like I need a healthy 401K. Yeah, that's right. Reeeeal bad. Because TF-19 WASP Flamethrower maker Throwflame indicates their fiery accessory is designed for "remote...

The Adidas Archive: The Footwear Collection

$150 Taschen »

Available starting August 2019, The Adidas Archive: The Footwear Collection is coffee table book giant* Taschen's tribute to the history of an iconic shoe. Authors Christian Habermeier and Sebastian Jager cover 357 pairs...

The Noggle - Making the Backseat Cool Again

$42.97 - $52.98 Amazon »

The kids (and adults) will still fight over shotgun, but at least with a Noggle hose routing cool AC air to the other half of the car, those who lose out won't melt in the backseat on the way to the dentist's. Or the...

Offensive Crayons Red, White, and F*ck You Edition

Offensive Crayons have colored outside the lines of political correctness yet again with their new Red, White, and F*ck You Edition. Where the original Offensive Crayons stuck to soccer-mom-bristling colors such as Boner...

One Hour of Farting CD

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This One Hour of Farting CD has just validated two major decisions I recently made in my life: 1) Not to upgrade my laptop; 2) Not to upgrade my car. Because that means I still have 2 fully functional CD players primed...

Wooden Noodles 16.5"-Long Cooking Chopsticks

$5.99 Amazon »

Dude! And I thought regular chopsticks were hard to use! Wooden Noodles supersizes your normal 7" to 10" chopsticks into thick, 16.5"-long cooking chopsticks. Use them to mix up your beef stir fries in the wok, flip your...

Cell Phone Jail

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It's a cell for your cell. Or, more likely, this mobile phone jail will be where your kids' phones serve time when you decide they need to break and reenter the physical world, or when they smart off, sneak out, or turn...

Bose Frames Open-Ear Audio & AR Sunglasses

$199 - $228 Amazon »

I thought for sure Bose Frames, the sound mack's new audio sunglasses, would be bone conduction shades, but nope. Bose has something else up their sleeve to shove down our canals: open-ear audio courtesy of miniaturized...

SereneLife 37-Gallon Locking Storage Bin

Discontinued

SereneLife calls their 37-gallon locking storage bin "a great way to organize your closet, storage room, garage or basement so you can have that extra space you need." But all the old dads out there, plus those of us...

Car Full of Bees Sunshade

$13.99 Amazon »

Archie McPhee's Car Full of Bees Sunshade is multi-talented. 1) The accordion visor will help protect your car seats from the most brutal of the sun's rays and heat. 2) The hive swarming your windshield, and the clearly...

Gerber Key Note Compact Scraping & Cutting Knife

$28.99 Amazon »

Gerber looks to be the Key Note of your EDC with their compact, fine edge scraping and cutting knife. The company says its dual-purpose blade will prove to be a "surprise amount" of useful despite it keychain-ready size...

I've found some choice anatomical optical illusions for your viewing pleasure this evening (or morning with your computer rearview mirror on your monitor at work). Most are just momentary illusions whose true nature is easy to spot in a second or two, but that's what makes them fun. Because even...

Prank Fake Bird Poop

$11.98 Amazon »

The beauty of prank Fake Bird Poop is that it's going to cause just as big, and almost as gross of a mess for the shat-upon to clean up, but will be significantly less repulsive for the administering jokester to handle...

Shine Armor Hydrophobic Spray Wax for Cars

$9.57 Amazon »

Wax on, wax off becomes spray on, wax off with Shine Armor's Spray Wax Quick Coat. Made with Brazilian Carnauba wax, the polisher spritzes on the body of your vehicle, and then wipes back off to seal and polish your paint...

Shark OFF Shark Repellent Bracelet

Discontinued

They say Shark OFF is "kryptonite for sharks!" Awww. Not that there's anything wrong with a shark repellent bracelet, if you're a surfer, diver, boater, or swimmer of the oceans. But when I read the words "Shark OFF"...

Vegas-Style Flashing Food Toppers

$3.64 - $8.38 Amazon »

Flashing Food Toppers? Psshh, no way. Why waste a vintage Vegas-style neon "Eat Me" on a chocolate cake when I can attach it to my belt buckle? Or "Happy Birthday" on confetti cupcakes when She-Ra: Princess of Power keeps...

Find the Poo - A Seek & Find Book

$11.62 Amazon »

In Find the Poo dog owner Joe Shyllit* turns the great mystery of the disappearing dog dump into a fun and challenging seek & find game. Think Where's Waldo with nature photos and turds...

Shake & Pop Open Fire Popcorn Popper

$39.99 Amazon »

It's the weekend, time to Shake & Pop, baby! This open fire popcorn popper has a traditional (i.e., olden days) look, but is made of lightweight, durable aluminum instead of, say, cast iron or bedrock. You can get your...

IPA Lot When I Drink T-Shirt

Discontinued

Normally I hate IPA, but I'll take a pint in its punniest of pun form on this IPA Lot When I Drink T-shirt. And here I thought I'd already seen all the best beer gifts...

Decapitated Swan Pool Float

The Decapitated Swan Pool Float is big enough for 2 people! It's 5' long x 5' wide x 3' tall. Er, whoops. 2' tall...

UFO Storage Jar

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When I give my mama this UFO storage jar for all the cookies and other special treats she makes before I come over, I'll just tell her the lid is a ladies' gardening hat instead of an alien spaceship. That way we'll both...

Hands-Free Wearable Mini Fans

Discontinued

Technically these hands-free wearable mini fans are suitable for anyone who wants to stay cool when it gets hot. But I think we can all agree there's one person in particular the air-circulating neck wraps are made for:...