Household

Bathroom Mirror Defogger

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Fogged mirrors! I can't groom my facial hair or Dep Gel my head for, like, 8-1/2 minutes after emerging from the shower unless I stand there like an a-hole blowing my mama's hairdryer on it. Towels: do not work. Squeegees:...

Movies R Fun: Iconic Scenes as Children's Art

Discontinued

Josh Cooley's book Movies R Fun: A Collection of Cinematic Classics for the Pre-(Film) School Cinephile takes iconic and cult (mostly) R-rated movie scenes as inspiration for artwork styled after children's storybooks...

Pool Bedsheets

$71 Snurk »

Not much of a lake snoozer? How about sleeping in a swimming pool? Snurk's pool bedsheets add a second option to spending the night enveloped in a large body of water without drowning. Fun! Trippy! Still horrendously...

Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)

$6.19 - $7.69 Amazon »

Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...

USU Parking Spot Storage Unit

$1,999 - $2,198 USU »

The Urban Storage Unit, or USU (pronounced "oooh-sue"), provides up to 1,000 pounds worth of additional storage for people with assigned parking spots in apartment and condominium complexes. Uh, high-end apartment and...

BottleLight

$15 SUCK UK »

BottleLights are USB-rechargeable LED bulbs that make glass bottles glow all moody and sensual. Basically they achieve the same It's time for sexy time effect as candles without the associated fire risks. Designed by...

Aqueduck Faucet Extender

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The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

The Map of Zombies

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics...

Breville Crispy Crust Pizza Maker

$298.99 Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks...

Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...

TIHK - Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key

$12 TIHK »

The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card or other digital payment...

Big Lebowski Dude Rug

$925 Etsy »

Talk about tying a room together. Etsy shop owner Allie, self-described hoarder and clearcut winner of Best Latch-Hooker on Earth*, spent over 220 hours immortalizing The Dude in dream sequence rug form. Urinate on this...

Bottle Cap Bar Stools

$90.61 - $98.88 Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Teddy Bear Lamp

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Here's a gift for your kid. Or your girlfriend. And maybe for an extra $10 they'll throw in Teddy's head on a stake so there will be something in this whole bear lamp thing for you. I actually had a dream about the teddy...

Verilux CleanWave Sanitizing Wand

Discontinued

Great. I always tell my mama that as soon as someone makes it so I can just wave a magic wand to get the job done I'll gladly help her clean the house. I never thought a magic wand that cleans the house was a legitimate...

Map of the Internet

$40.25 Zazzle »

Jay Simons and Martin Vargic: students; graphic designers; Slovakians; Internet cartographers. If the Web were divided into land masses, grouped along lines of latitude and meridians and flattened into a map on your desk...

Miracle-Gro 7-Pod Indoor AeroGarden

Discontinued

Today we salute Denver and Seattle, our Super Bowl XLVIII competitors and title holders of Most Stoned Cities in America. It's cool though. Denver and Seattle live in the first two US states to legalize marijuana, so...

Heimlich Helper - DIY Choking Aid

Sold Out Amazon »

Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice...

Strong Man Mirror

$12,460 L'ArcoBaleno »

Before you even say it, I agree. $12 grand for the M8, Ron Gilad's "little burly imp" in his IX Mirrors Series?! That's ridiculous! You could make almost the same mirror for a fraction of the cost! Like I said, I agree...

You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh... Basically every time I see her all I can...

Cookie Prints Cookie Cutters

$5.99 - $17.99 Etsy »

To all the girls compiling notes on what kind of cookies to bake me for Valentine's Day, let me make this easy: iced sugar or gingerbread even though it's not Christmas anymore in the shape of one of the following Cookie...

Auto-Measure Spice Carousel

$40.99 Amazon »

When my friend Cornelius pulls his breaded raviolis out of the deep fryer on Sunday I am going to recommend he season them with a click quarter teaspoon of oregano and a click, click half teaspoon of basil from my auto-measure...

Triple-Basket Deep Fryer

$64.99 Amazon »

Double up on the fish & chips and nuggets with fries, or cook one big vat of extra crispy fried chicken with Secura's triple-basket deep fryer. The electric countertop model contains a 1700-watt immersion element said...

Transforming Coffee Table

$1,310 Duffy London »

If I ever happen to move out of my mama's house, I doubt it will be into anything larger than a 400-square-foot studio apartment, so this transforming coffee-to-dining table from Duffy London would be the perfect addition...