Well Seasoned: 10 Summer Sauces & Rubs

Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce $10. Not only is this item called Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce, but it's sold by a vendor named Professor Phardtpounders. How tacky and immature. I want some. Specifically, I want a concoction of Scotch bonnet peppers, mustard, modified food starch, salt, onions, water, vinegar, turmeric, sugar, and sodium benzoate to breathe uncomfortable, yet cleansing fire into my excretory system.