The Lady Presents: 29 Holiday Gifts for Women in 2021
And when I say The Lady Presents: 29 Holiday Gifts for Women in 2021, I mean The Lady presents. As in, my lady. She-Ra: Princess of Power. I swore I would never mix business and pleasure, but when my wife saw me about to include Candy Nipple Tassels as a top gift for a top woman in your life, she was like, "Move aside, or you'll never see my Candy Nipple Tassel-less nipples again."
So, courtesy of my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, The Lady indeed presents 29 exceptional, exceptionally thoughtful, and, most importantly, female-approved gifts for women in 2021.
Note: All 29 gifts for women in 2021 are priced as they were at printing on November 17, 2021. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Ladybug, Bee & Butterfly House
Made of cedar wood, bamboo, sawdust, pine cones, wire mesh, and plywood, these ladybug, bee & butterfly houses can serve as a habitat, hatchery, or just a shelter in the storm for a variety of insects you might actually want in your garden or backyard. They attract primarily mason bees, green lacewings, digger wasps, and wild bees, in addition to ladybugs and butterflies.
Phoenix Home Shield - Pepper Gel with UV Dye
Phoenix Home Shield supports your quest to protect yourself from home intruders, carjackers, and grizzly bears. A pepper gel rather than a pepper spray, Phoenix Home Shield is designed to send a long-range stream of stay-the-F-away towards your assailant, without the risk of wind blowback into your own face that atomized sprays carry. It also facilitates attacking multiple targets at once, and this Home Shield can is pressure-powered to hit them from up to 25' away.
Rosephoria Beauty and The Beast Dome
Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / No lady won't love / A rose that never goes deceased. The Beauty and The Beast Dome from Rosephoria is a stunning display of an everlasting rose, and your everlasting love for the lovely lady you gift it to.
Available in 5 colors, from classic red to macabre black, each domed rose is a real bloom, grown ethically by farmers in Ecuador, and preserved in safe, non-toxic oils to present in its peak floral glory for at least a year.
The rose's arrangement in the dome, enhanced with winding, branch-like LED lights, creates a charming replica of The Beast's enchanted rose in the iconic Disney film.
Pinch Me Aromatherapy & Anti-Stress Dough
Pinch Me Aromatherapy & Anti-Stress Dough appears to be packaged as an alternative to candles, bath bombs, and lotions for those looking for gifts for women. They come in pretty colors and farmhouse-chic jars, with scents like Spa, Beach, Sun, Surf, and Ocean.
The Amaranth Vase makes taking care of bouquets and floral arrangements way less of a thorn in your side. Uh, though it won't do anything about actual thorns. Be they attached to flower stems, or somehow embedded in your side.
No, the Amaranth Vase earns its "smart" designation thanks to a fairly simple design that allows you to unscrew the bottom two-thirds of the vase's outer shell to: 1) drain old dirty, stinky flower water and replace it with fresh; and 2) trim floral stem bottoms while the Amaranth holds the arrangement in place. No pulling the whole thing out and having it fall into disarray.
Book Bags - Famous Book Cover Bags & Purses
Know what goes with a great book? Heels. Or flats. Even sneakers. These Book Bags from Krukru Studio are as fashionably versatile as they are unique and charming. Available in a host of classic novel and famous nonfiction titles, the Book Bags come in 5 sizes, from purse to messenger bag, and your choice of several colors in faux and real leather.
In addition to titles ranging from Pride and Prejudice and Hamlet to Carl Jung's The Red Book and Charles Darwin's A Naturalist's Voyage Round the World, Book Bag buyers have the option of printing the book's first page on the body of the purse / bag, just inside the cover flap.
Korean BBQ Coffee Table
A Korean BBQ Coffee Table almost guarantees she'll throw a spectacular dinner party. And also that her guests ruin the couch, chairs, carpet, and coffee table itself in the process. Spectacularly. But, hey, what's a new set of living room furniture when it comes to being the hostess with the most and mostess?
Dalstrong Frost Series Kitchen Knives
The Yang to Dalstrong's Shadow Black Series Kitchen Knives, the Frost collection sports 6 knives to help you prep a feast, plus a set of steak knives to help your guests devour it. Blades are made of 7-layer, high-carbon, high-chromium stainless steel, and secured in white resin handles honeycombed in an aluminum mesh.
Tea Light Faux Fireplace Log
The Tea Light Faux Fireplace Log is made of resin and coated in a rustic wood-like finish. The 3-tiered installation has slots of 11 tea light candles, and your started set is even included. Dimensions are 24" wide x 11" deep x 10" tall. Add the Tea Light Faux Fireplace Log to your fireplace as a year-round addition to home decor, or maybe just for the holidays.
Lovers Under the Moon Lamp
It's time for holiday lovin'. The Lovers Under the Moon Lamp captures that over-the-moon feeling of cuddling up with someone you love, in the quiet of night, surrounded by stars, and watched over by the pizza pie in the sky.
The snuggling lovers sitting under the lamp's full moon also serve as its touch sensor controls. The sculpture turns the moonlight on and off, as well as cycles it through 3 levels of intensity. This moon uses USB power rather than elemental gases to create its glow, and sits inside a woodgrain shell.
Einova Wireless Charging Stone
I must be a Qi-enabled device because the Einova Wireless Charging Stone I have gives me a little charge whenever I touch it too. It's so smooth. So elegant. So nicely matched with my kitchen countertops (I got the Wireless Charging Stone in Sandstone.) If the Juicy Salif is the most handsome way to squeeze juice out I've ever seen, then the Einova Wireless Charging Stone has the lock on being the most handsome way to put it back in.
Cabin Porn: Inside
People sure do love their porn. And, apparently nearly as much, their cabins. Cabin Porn: Inside, by Freda Moon and Zach Klein, is an interior design-focused follow-up to 2015's Cabin Porn: Inspiration for Your Quiet Place Somewhere. The latter focused primarily on cabin architecture, with photos and vignettes of some of the most standout handmade homes in the American backcountry. Cabin Porn: Inside takes a closer look at what's between the walls, what cabin owners have done to bring comfort, coziness, warmth, joy - Hygge, as they say - to their rooms.
Micro Crochet Animals
Lookee, lookee at the itty bitty crochet sloth. The teeny tiny crochet elephant. The weeeee little crochet penguin. The...I can't. I have to stop. All these Micro Crochet Animals, these things that make you go awww, are making me feel all fuzzy and dizzy and...barfy from all their cuteness.
To distract myself, and yourself, from this malaise, let's focus on how the hawkeye Lucia of Lucia Knit was able to crochet these near-microscopic Micro Crochet Animals. The penguin, for example, stands 0.4 cm tall. Zero point four. The sloth towers over him at 1.5 cm - with his legs pulled straight.
Clear Shower XL Transparent Shower Head
I see your rain shower shower head, and raise you a rain shower shower head you can see...right through. Appropriately named the Clear Shower XL, this is a shower head whose base plate is transparent, creating the optical illusion that its cleansing rainfall is streaming straight from the sky. Or, like, your bathroom ceiling.
Now, Mama, before you start worrying, nagging, or otherwise getting your panties in a bunch, rest assured, Mom Grass Hemp CBG Joints are 100% legal. They're made not of the evil wakki tabakki like those marijuana cigarettes degenerates like Willie Nelson, Cheech & Chong, and Elon Musk smoke, but a completely THC-free, government-friendly blend of cannabinoids called CBG.
Nope, Mama, that's not me missing yet another typo I made because I neglected to check my work. Mom Grass joints are made with CBG. It's a cannabinoid Mom Grass makers call the "building block" for THC and the more commonly known CBD. They also call it "the mother of all cannabinoids."
Aurora Borealis Necklace
Listen, ladies, if you were wearing one of Wood All Good's Aurora Borealis Necklaces, you would have to cut me some slack. Yes, I would be staring at your chesticular area for a long period of time. But I swear, I wouldn't be ogling your boobies and thinking caveman thoughts. I would be lost in the brilliance of this pendant's stunning span of craggy burl wood mountains, and night sky dancing with the blues and greens of opal and resin Northern Lights.
Who wants a coupla shiners? From your fists to their eyes, these strap-on Knuckle Lights shine 150-lumen beams into the face of any who cross your path while running, walking, or making your way to a good wee-wee spot in the forest while camping at night. The Knuckle Lights are also good for simply illuminating your path so you don't trip or run into anything.
Umbra Glo Picture Frame
Guess who wants an Umbra Glo Frame to display lovey photos, adorbs snaps of my cat being adorbs, and wish-I-were-there trip pics for his birthday? Not this dude. Probably not you dudes either. Hence this product's inclusion on a list of gifts for women.
Tabletop Outdoor Heat Lamp
I don't know about your wife who's always cold, but my wife who's always cold has a hawk's eye for patio heat lamps. And she always manages to finagle us an outdoor table right next to one when we go out to eat, or stakes her claim alongside the sole patio heater like some people do the buffet table if we go to a backyard party whose hosts have invested in their own.
Star Patio's line of patio heaters store 5100 BTUs of instant, quiet electric heat beneath their shades. Operation is via a lamp-style cord, which takes the device from 0 to its single, 1500W setting with a pull.
Circadian Optics Art Deco Light Therapy Lamp
Give dark days some light - and some style - with this Art Deco Light Therapy Lamp from Circadian Optics. The mood light / sun lamp brings replica, and UV-free, rays to your home or office, providing a bright and happy boost throughout the winter. Or all year long if your WFH situation has landed you in the basement.
Modern Sprout Growframes - Wall-Mounted Grow Lights
Modern Sprout's Growframes will grow you some modern sprouts indeed. The wall-mounted plant pedestals provide a handsome, minimalist, space-savvy spot to display your herbs and small houseplants, plus incorporate smart grow light tech to help them thrive regardless of your home's lighting conditions.
Mozy Leg Jacket - Weatherproof Thermal Wrap
Freezing weather finally arrived? No matter. You can still Mozy on over to the tailgate, the campsite, the backyard BBQ that won't let summer go in cozy comfort with the Mozy leg jacket. Nope, it's not a fancy way of saying pants, or skirt, or kilt. The Mozy is a jacket for your legs, a weatherproof thermal wrap designed to give your lower half some love, and protect it from wind, rain, and the brrrs when you're outside. Or inside a drafty, cold-ass house like my Aunt Jan's.
It certainly reflects her personality.
WorkRobe - Business on the Top, Comfort on the Bottom
The WorkRobe is for working (from home) women who don't want to put on a stiff collared shirt or itchy sweater for one stupid Zoom call. Or, worse, to sit around stiff and itchy on video conferences all day long. Coined as "Business on top, comfort on the bottom," WorkRobes are a unique take on business casual that combine a bottom half of mid-length bathrobes, with a top half of button-down, cowl neck, or blouse-style shirts appropriate for the office.
Drunk Yoga: 50 Wine & Yoga Poses to Lift Your Spirit(s)
Drunk Yoga: 50 Wine & Yoga Poses to Lift Your Spirit(s) isn't just a parody or tee-hee-hee wine gift for women and bachelorette parties. It's a legit guide to doing yoga while drinking wine, and it's based on author Eli Walker's real-life Drunk Yoga sessions.
Men to Avoid in Art and Life
Men to Avoid in Art and Life. Welp. At least I'm not featured in any of the art included in Nicole Tersigni's satire on mansplaining. The real-life modern captions she pairs with the classical fine art in her full-color picture book, however...am I guilty of uttering one or two of them?
The printed version of Men to Avoid in Art and Life grew from a memerrific Twitter thread that similarly paired olden days paintings with apropos quotes that "epitomize the spirit of mansplaining." Topics include: catcalling and it's perfectly logical reasons for use; breastfeeding and menstruation; what women can do to be more attractive to men, and therefore better in general; and dick pics.
Mast Humidifier - Natural Japanese Cypress Humidifier
The Mast Humidifier is a design- and eco-friendly option for bringing some moisture back to your parched home and sandpaper sinuses this winter. Made of hinoki, Japanese cypress, the Mast Humidifier uses no electricity or fancy mechanical elements to spread love and water, just a natural diffusion process that sees water in the humidifier's base drawn up through the thin slices of folded hinoki, and then released into the surrounding air.
Good After Nine Animal Rings
Not gonna get her that hippopotamus for Christmas? How about a Happy Hippo Ring instead? Those denied cats, dogs, snakes, cockatoos, koalas, and frog princes, Good After Nine has its finger on the pulse of your disappointment too. The jewelry shop offers up adorable handmade animal rings in dozens of different species as consolation to animal lovers who can't be animal owners.
Bath Diamond Bioluminescent Bath Bombs & Salt Soaks
Bath Diamond products all come with a soothing, scented component - the bath bomb or soaking salts - and a vial of Light Crystals. The latter are what make bathtime really shine. Light Crystals contain marine luciferin, natural bioluminescent compounds found in ocean-dwelling organisms, such as dinoflagellates, that glow bright in the dark. Or, as it were, in your bathtub.
Nova Ceramics Travel Mugs
I feel like everyone is in, or at least close to, having way too many mugs, but that isn't necessarily bad news for Nova Ceramics. Because, you see, even though we all have way too many of our own mugs, and wouldn't buy another one for ourselves, mug gifts are one of the easiest, most go-to options for any occasion. Including the occasion of buying a lady in your life - let's say, your tiresome Aunt Jan - a no-brainer gift.