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Narwhal USB Heated Slippers

By: on July 23, 2015
$44.95
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Protecting your feet from danger with their formidable tusks and from draughts with their mighty USB-powered foot warmers. These Narwhal slippers have a cozy cotton and polyester composition, a magnificent unicorn of the sea shape, and some nifty 21st century tech that lets you plug them into a Mac, PC, or other USB port to heat them up on toe chilling nights.

Narwhal slippers do need to be attached to their USB power source to pump the heat. They ship with a 57" USB cable to provide a leash with a little leeway. The foot warmers are also detachable from the slippers for free roaming through the ocean to the kitchen to procure some fishy crunchy Cool Ranch snacks.

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Teva Ember Moc Slippers

$43.75 - $69.95 from Amazon »

Teva's Ember Moc slippers might have Dad Joke written all over them, but I don't care. I want some. Teva says they're like sleeping bags for your feet. Who can resist sleeping bags for your feet?! Not me....

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Largemouth Bass Slippers

$15.99 - $22.69 from Amazon »

Good news, pescatarians! They've finally started making slippers out of fish - check out these largemouth bass slippers! - so you'll have something to wear while everyone else dons their bunnies, piggies, chickies, and...

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GoodFoot Temperature-Balancing Slippers

$65 from Unikia »

Not that it's not incredibly sexy when you caress the lady with whom you're entwined on the couch with a ripe and sweaty foot that makes her gag and recoil, or an ice block of a set of toes that makes her yelp and shoot...

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Kkika Rotating Acupressure Slippers

$22.95 from Amazon »

No pain, no gain, right? More precisely, in the world of acupressure and Kkika's Rotating Acupressure Slippers, it's no pain, no relief of pain....

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Microwaveable Slippers

$32.95 from Amazon »

Slippers. The most no-fail gift ever. Especially when you can stick them in the microwave to make them magnificently warm and cozy. And especially when they're extra plush and soft to the touch. And especially, especially...

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Talking Chewbacca Slippers

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Now Wookiee here, feet! I need to you pipe down for a second! This is a sneak attack on the glazed pumpkin old fashioneds while She-Ra: Princess of Power is in the bathroom. It's cool, though. It's a baker's dozen. Her...

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Giant Robot Slippers with Sound

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Perfect. I've been looking for some giant robot feet to go with my giant robot arms. And these are slippers? With Vrrrrrr-clank! Vrrrrrr-clank! sound effects? Did I say perfect? I meant better than perfect. I meant, like...

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Tank Slippers

$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...

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TI:ME Slipper Sneakers

$70 - $130 from TI:ME »

Total comfort and relaxation without looking like a hobbit. This is the objective of TI:ME slippers. Though I would contend that the Kickstarter project's soft-soled, plush-lined, yoga-matted, walking-on-Air Jordans go...

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Unicorn in a Narwhal Sculpture

$1,500 from Kozyndan »

Holy crap, it's fantastical beast overload! It almost hurts to look at it, it's so stirring and extraordinary. And, according to the unicornarwhal sculpture's creators, it also explains a lot. How can a whale with a ginormous...

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Slippers With Headlights

$40 from Opulent Items »

I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor...

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Batmobile Slippers

$15.60 from Hot Topic »

Now that I've watched the first couple episodes of Gotham, I can say with certainty that these Batmobile slippers would be perfect for little Brucey Wayne. Maybe they'll give him more solace in the aftermath of his parents'...