Shoes

Crosskix EVA Athletic Shoes

$59.95 from Amazon »

Though Crosskix probably wouldn't appreciate the comparison, for the sake of simplicity I'll say these representatives of foam composite footwear are like Crocs for CrossFitters. Yes, you can slip them on and wear them...

Double Agent Shoes

$165 - $225 from Double Agent Shoes »

Get your lady a pair of these Double Agent Shoes for Valentine's Day and you'll never get stuck holding her purse again. Ahhh, a nice gift for her with a nice kickback for you. That said, be wary if she isn't the most...

Johnnie Walker Mini Bottle Shoes

$489 from Oliver Sweeney »

Mini bottles of Johnnie Walker Scotch Whisky tucked inside the soles of Oliver Sweeney Oxfords. According to the makers of these limited edition Tan Leather Brogues, the shoes are a "footwear first that bring together...

Lock Laces - Elastic No-Tie Shoelaces

$7.99 from Amazon »

One time when I was a kid I was at the mall with my mama rocking a pair of K-Swiss and one of my shoelaces came untied shortly before we got onto the down escalator. The ride itself went fine, but when I stepped off at...

GoodFoot Temperature-Balancing Slippers

$65 from Unikia »

Not that it's not incredibly sexy when you caress the lady with whom you're entwined on the couch with a ripe and sweaty foot that makes her gag and recoil, or an ice block of a set of toes that makes her yelp and shoot...

Argonaut Kevlar & Tyvek Paper Boot

$118 - $128 from The UT Lab »

The Unbelievable Testing Laboratory began inspiring awe in people who wear shoes last year when they created this 5.3-ounce pair out of paper. They've since released a couple of additional styles, but their latest foray...

Batmobile Slippers

$15.60 from Hot Topic »

Now that I've watched the first couple episodes of Gotham, I can say with certainty that these Batmobile slippers would be perfect for little Brucey Wayne. Maybe they'll give him more solace in the aftermath of his parents'...

Back to the Future II Light Up Shoes

In 2011 Nike made 1,500 pairs of Marty McFly 2015 Air Mag replicas and auctioned them to benefit The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. Rumor has it the company will release another round, this one with...

Tricera Hi-Tops

$88 - $99 from Tricera Hi-Tops »

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately...

RattlerStrap Flint Laces

$13.95 from Amazon »

RattlerStrap previously designed their Venom paracord belt in honor of a Dude reader giveaway. Just for us. So obviously we like them. A lot. But while I have no problem being completely biased about the products I discuss...

SteriShoe UV Shoe Sanitizer

Sold Out from Amazon »

One thing about feet is that they reek. And one thing about feet and summer is that they reek exponentially more during this season of high heat and outdoor exploits. That said, the worst thing I've ever smelled was not...

Sanuk Yoga Mat Flip Flops

$20.99 - $37.86 from Amazon »

Sanuk uses real, squishy, foot-contouring yoga mats to make several lines of flip flops for both men and women. I tried on a pair once a few years ago in the company's homeland of Southern California and they were probably...

Rhino Unbreakable Shoelaces

$19.95 from Amazon »

Rhino Laces are guaranteed to be unbreakable, fireproof, and slashproof. By both the people who make them and the people who wear them--who happen to be one in the same. A group of wildland firefighters, tired of the...

Umberto Luce Peepem Boots

$269 from Umberto Luce »

Umberto Luce makes fancy man boots that somehow avert the designation fancyman boots. One of their latest releases, the Peepems, combine 100% vegetable-tanned cowhide on the outside with a 100% bovine interior lining...

Giant Robot Slippers with Sound

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Perfect. I've been looking for some giant robot feet to go with my giant robot arms. And these are slippers? With Vrrrrrr-clank! Vrrrrrr-clank! sound effects? Did I say perfect? I meant better than perfect. I meant, like...

TI:ME Slipper Sneakers

$70 - $130 from TI:ME »

Total comfort and relaxation without looking like a hobbit. This is the objective of TI:ME slippers. Though I would contend that the Kickstarter project's soft-soled, plush-lined, yoga-matted, walking-on-Air Jordans go...

Horizontal Shoe Rack

$79.95 from Amazon »

Even though J-Me's horizontal shoe rack doesn't save much more space or prove to be all that different in practice than a normal shelving unit for shoes, I find it's effect exponentially cooler. On its own, the simple...

Killer Rabbit Slippers

$28.66 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

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Meindl Retractable Spike Boots

$377 from Pro Idee »

They're like Wolverine claws for the bottom of your feet. These Meindl retractable spike boots stick it to ice and snow with their patented, perfect traction Tec Vision spike system. When wearers flip out the boots' heel...

Gore-Tex Boots

Sold Out from Amazon »

I guess Alpinestars' Web Gore-Tex boots are technically meant for use while riding motorcycles, but when I look at them I can't help but think they would also be terrific footwear for walking on the moon. Aren't those...

5.3-Ounce Paper Shoes

$65 from The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait.... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh...

Shark Slippers

Discontinued

Although I find amputation as hilarious as the next guy, I have to draw the line at slippers parodying a shark biting off a human's foot, i.e., a threat that is real. Know who's laughing the hardest at this joke? The...

Chainmail Shoes

$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much...

Rechargeable Heated Insoles

$129.97 - $174.99 from Amazon »

When I was a young lad, my parents bought battery-operated socks. For themselves, not for me. Sometimes, when forced to sit outside in frigid midwest winter wind chills for three hours' worth of my brother's junior football...

Tank Slippers

$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...

Headlight Flip Flops

$65 - $65 from Amazon »

Though slippers with headlights fall more into the novelty category, flip flops with headlights may actually be one of the more useful footwear innovations. Not quite up there with Marty McFly Nikes, but certainly superior...

Cult TV Show Chuck Taylors

$80 - $100 from The Ave Venice »

Dexter, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Rick Grimes, Ron F**king Swanson, they already hold a place close to our hearts. Thanks to the design maestros at Tauntr.com, so too can they hold a place close to our corns, callouses...

Comic Book High Heels

Discontinued

One thing I would like to learn how to do is cut in a straight line. From there, maybe I can progress to the precise and exacting skills Etsy vendor Tori uses to create her custom Comic Book High Heels from the pages...

Spider-Man Vs. Venom Vans

Discontinued

I know. In his latest incarnation, the Amazing Spider-Man doesn't battle Venom, but the kids at Walking Dead Apparel haven't decked out their Vans with a hand painted Lizard yet, and really, a red-webbed Spider-Man on...

Nike HTM Flyknit Series

$160 from Nike, Inc. »

Nike's ultra-light, Olympic-centric, environmentally-conscious Flyknit HTM collection was released in a limited run at 21 Mercer on February 21st (get it?) They should be available to the $160+-carrying masses over the...

Grass Flip Flops

$29.95 from Kusa Shoes »

Australia's KUSA is the latest company to perpetuate the 21st century's growing abhorrence of shoes. Hippies, barefoot enthusiasts, and people nostalgic for the days when they were too poor to buy footwear are going to...

Laser Laces

Sold Out from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones...

Sand Imprint Flip Flops

$19.95 from Etsy »

Leave a message in the sand for those who follow in your footsteps, poignant or not. Anything you want. These suckers are custom made to say whatever it is you like. I predict 50% of the orders are for some variant of...

Dust Mop Slippers

$12.94 from Amazon »

No, gentlemen, October is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts for your wife. And the great thing about these slippers is that they look just like real mops, which ensures that when you wear them to collect...

Zombie Feet Sandals

$14.95 from Amazon »

Looking for an improvement or cover up for your fungus encrusted toenails? These are the perfect solution. And if you don't have athlete's foot, or zombie foot yet, these just might prevent you from getting it in your...

Motherboard Sandals

Sold Out from Etsy »

More form than function, these look meticulous in their construction. These were fashioned from PC mother boards, ribbon wire and a host of other electronic components. Click these heals together and you enter the matrix....

Slippers With Headlights

$40 from Opulent Items »

I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor...

Marty McFly Nikes

By: Nike »

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair...