Shoes

Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer

$53.54 - $138.06 from Amazon »

Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why...

Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers

$39.99 from Amazon »

According to the Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers, live people ignore the strange and unusual. But [creepy distant expression and eyeroll] I, myself am strange and unusual. Therefore, I shall draw...

Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers

$80 from LN-CC »

These sneaks are Vans...with a twist. Sorry, it's been a long week. Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers dangled some low-hanging literary fruit in front of me, and I just grabbed it. Ate it right up. Toss the leftover...

Reebok Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes

$150 from Reebok »

My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, is not a fan of Reebok's Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes. They contain a word in their titular description that P's her right O: "Men's." On the store page for the Ghostbusters collab...

Adidas Adilette Clogs

$45 from Adidas »

Adidas' Adilette Clogs are the quarantine baby you never knew you...never wanted...

PUMA Calibrate Runner Sneakers with XETIC Technology

$140 from PUMA »

PUMA says their new street-ready Calibrate Runner Sneakers are "a scientific advancement by human and machine." So, sorry namesake cougars, you're getting replaced by robots too...

Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes

$26.99 - $33.99 from Amazon »

If, when a pair of socks slipped inside a pair of sneakers, they made a baby, that baby could definitely pop out looking like Slow Man's Slip-On Sock Shoes. And while I'm not so sure about the laceless Sock Shoes' zdesire...

Walk Of Mind Custom-Molded Shoes

Designer Hadar Slassi's Walk Of Mind shoes scored a 2019-2020 A' Design Gold Award in the Footwear category for their custom-molded hybrid design concept. Slassi uses 5 layers to build the shoes, calling each a "stratum"...

Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels

$249.99 from Fun.com »

You'll certainly get a Care Bears Stare or two wearing these Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels from flamboyant footwear brand Irregular Choice...

KuaiLu Yoga Foam Flip Flops

$22.99 from Amazon »

Is there anything not to like about KuaiLu Flip Flops? Made with yoga foam soles, like my FOAT Sanuk flip flops, they've got to be an equal treat for yo' feet. And I must admit, KuaiLu's take on the yoga-sandal combo...

Reef Men's Mulligan II Flip Flops

$39.60 - $45 from Amazon »

One question: what the fairway is up with that bulging golf ball embedded in the Mulligan II Flip Flops' footbed? Reef's only reference to it is to say their golf fan's footwear has a "molded golf ball logo." Yeah, more...

GrassSlides Real Turf Sandals

$24.95 from Amazon »

Dad, what's better than grass stains on your New Balance 608v5s? That's right, real turf on your GrassSlides sandals...

Crapper Concealer - Toilet Stall Shoe Covers

The Crapper Concealer is a set of shoe covers you slip over your feet to maintain anonymity when you use a public toilet stall. And by "use" I mean poop. Shit. Drop a fat deuce. Brown-out destroy. Do things to that poor...

HOKA TenNine Sneakers

$250 from HOKA One One »

Baby. Got. Back. If you'd like some sneakers to help you get rid of a big, saggy ass, I present for your consideration HOKA TenNines. Sneakers that themselves have a big, saggy ass...

KFC Crocs

I hate Crocs. And I'm not as much of a KFC fanboy as I am a dedicated patron of Popeyes and my mama's kitchen when she gets out the deep fryer. But I have to give KFC Crocs credit for one gem of a KFC Crocs pitch: "Put...

New Balance Caravan Moc

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Dad shoe of the season has arrived. New Balance describes their Caravan Moc as "an easy-going, comfortable respite for tired feet," and I think Dad's gonna be all over that description with a fervor only slightly...

ReflecToes High Reflective Socks

$15.86 from Amazon »

What's my superpower? Casting thousands of directionally-orientated spherical mirrors from my ankles! ... With some help from my socks. ReflecToes are high reflective socks designed with runners and cyclists in mind...

Honey Soles - Natural Cork Shoe Insoles

$39.95 from Amazon »

Not that I want to think about wearing flip-flops this time of year, but according to Honey Soles, putting their Natural Cork shoe insoles inside my regular shoes will make it feel like I am even in my leather loafers...

Hypelev Levitating Sneaker Display Stand

$249 from Hypelev »

The Hypelev sneaker stand enables anyone - even you - to defy gravity with a pair of Air Jordans just like Michael. The only catch: you can't be wearing them...

Link Flip-Shoes

$69 - $79 from indiegogo »

Link flip-shoes, a hybrid their makers call "free like a flip-flop, safe as a shoe," are here to prove you wrong about at least one thing: no matter what you thought about Crocs or Keen Uneek monstrosities, Redneck Boot...

FlipRocks Extreme Flip-Flops

$89.99 from FlipRocks »

FlipRocks are a far cry from your average flip-flops. Buuuut, they seem to be right in line - or rather, right in injection-molded removable grips with extreme traction applications - with your average dad shoe...

VIA Waterproof Knit Shoes

$99 - $109 from VIA »

VIA Knit Shoes are treated with a Nano-Tech Membrane that repels both water and dirt for up to 2 hours of tromping around in mud puddles on a rainy spring day. They're also convertible sneaks, with fold-over flaps that...

Volcom Men's Recliner Leather Flip-Flops

Sold Out from Amazon »

Volcom's Recliner Leather Sandals are flip-flops fit for those vacation days when your wife wants to go touring and shopping and bar hopping, but you're feeling more like a La-Z-Boy who just wants to lounge by the pool...

Parasoles - 3D Recovery Socks with Polymer Soles

$55 from Parasoles »

While I haven't tried Parasoles myself, I have seen the funky sock-shoes in action on another dude at my gym. He flippin'-tires loves them. Always tries to get me to try them on and see for myself, but uh, these so-called...