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Shoes

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Saturday, March 15, 2014
$79.95 from Amazon »

Even though J-Me's horizontal shoe rack doesn't save much more space or prove to be all that different in practice than a normal shelving unit for shoes, I find it's effect exponentially cooler. On its own, the simple piece...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$377 from Pro Idee »

They're like Wolverine claws for the bottom of your feet. These Meindl retractable spike boots stick it to ice and snow with their patented, perfect traction Tec Vision spike system. When wearers flip out the boots' heel dial...

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$249.95 from Amazon »

I guess Alpinestars' Web Gore-Tex boots are technically meant for use while riding motorcycles, but when I look at them I can't help but think they would also be terrific footwear for walking on the moon. Aren't those even stylized stars around the ankle and toe box?...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
By: Nike

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$9.99 from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with...

Monday, January 7, 2013
$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler. And regardless of which fancy fad followers GoSt Barefoots is catering to, the fact of the matter is that what lie before us here are pedal sheaths made of mother F'in chainmail....

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$34.96 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Saturday, August 18, 2012
$80 - $100 from The Ave Venice »

Dexter, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Rick Grimes, Ron F**king Swanson, they already hold a place close to our hearts. Thanks to the design maestros at Tauntr.com, so too can they hold a place close to our corns, callouses...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for the...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$65 from The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait.... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh in...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Monday, October 22, 2012
$129.97 - $174.99 from Amazon »

When I was a young lad, my parents bought battery-operated socks. For themselves, not for me. Sometimes, when forced to sit outside in frigid midwest winter wind chills for three hours' worth of my brother's junior football...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011
$18.95 from Etsy »

Leave a message in the sand for those who follow in your footsteps, poignant or not. Anything you want. These suckers are custom made to say whatever it is you like. I predict 50% of the orders are for some variant of "Fuck...

Friday, August 10, 2012
Discontinued

One thing I would like to learn how to do is cut in a straight line. From there, maybe I can progress to the precise and exacting skills Etsy vendor Tori uses to create her custom Comic Book High Heels from the pages of DC's...

Thursday, February 21, 2013
$44.90 from Etsy »

Although I find amputation as hilarious as the next guy, I have to draw the line at slippers parodying a shark biting off a human's foot, i.e., a threat that is real. Know who's laughing the hardest at this joke? The sharks....

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
$160 from Nike, Inc. »

Nike's ultra-light, Olympic-centric, environmentally-conscious Flyknit HTM collection was released in a limited run at 21 Mercer on February 21st (get it?) They should be available to the $160+-carrying masses over the next...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$22.95 from Kusa Shoes »

Australia's KUSA is the latest company to perpetuate the 21st century's growing abhorrence of shoes. Hippies, barefoot enthusiasts, and people nostalgic for the days when they were too poor to buy footwear are going to love...

Monday, September 26, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

More form than function, these look meticulous in their construction. These were fashioned from PC mother boards, ribbon wire and a host of other electronic components. Click these heals together and you enter the matrix....

Thursday, September 8, 2011
$40 from Opulent Items »

I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor next...

Sunday, October 9, 2011
$13.95 from Amazon »

Looking for an improvement or cover up for your fungus encrusted toenails? These are the perfect solution. And if you don't have athlete's foot, or zombie foot yet, these just might prevent you from getting it in your dorm...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Discontinued

I know. In his latest incarnation, the Amazing Spider-Man doesn't battle Venom, but the kids at Walking Dead Apparel haven't decked out their Vans with a hand painted Lizard yet, and really, a red-webbed Spider-Man on the...

Tuesday, September 11, 2012
$65 - $65 from Amazon »

Though slippers with headlights fall more into the novelty category, flip flops with headlights may actually be one of the more useful footwear innovations. Not quite up there with Marty McFly Nikes, but certainly superior...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011
$5.99 from Amazon »

No, gentlemen, October is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts for your wife. And the great thing about these slippers is that they look just like real mops, which ensures that when you wear them to collect...

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