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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/chainmail-shoes-6277.jpg "Chainmail Shoes")
I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler. And regardless more...
/Marty-McFly-Nikes-738.jpg?mode=crop "Marty McFly Nikes")
Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never wear more...
/Laser-Laces-2024.jpg?mode=crop "Laser Laces")
Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with epilepsy. The fiber optic cable protects the LED emission points, and keeps their glow constant, a feat rope lighting has be unable to do. Laces are 26 inches long, but can more...
/breaking-bad-walking-dead-4680.jpg "Cult TV Show Chuck Taylors")
Dexter, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Rick Grimes, Ron F**king Swanson, they already hold a place close to our hearts. Thanks to the design maestros at Tauntr.com, so too can they hold a place close to our corns, callouses, and bunions. more...
/thermacell-rechargeable-heated-5418.jpg "Rechargeable Heated Insoles")
When I was a young lad, my parents bought battery-operated socks. For themselves, not for me. Sometimes, when forced to sit outside in frigid midwest winter wind chills for three hours' worth of my brother's junior football games they more...
/shark-slippers-6840.jpg "Shark Slippers")
Although I find amputation as hilarious as the next guy, I have to draw the line at slippers parodying a shark biting off a human's foot, i.e., a threat that is real. Know who's laughing the hardest at this joke? The sharks. They're imagining a nice fillet o' foot and cackling their asses off. Boy do I hate sharks. I don't care if they patrol the oceans eating plastic bags and tin cans and all more...
/tank-slippers-5089.jpg "Tank Slippers")
Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for the intermediate more...
/comic-book-high-heels-4575.jpg "Comic Book High Heels")
One thing I would like to learn how to do is cut in a straight line. From there, maybe I can progress to the precise and exacting skills Etsy vendor Tori uses to create her custom Comic Book High Heels from the pages of DC's and Marvel's more...
/nike-htm-flyknit-series-2811.jpg "Nike HTM Flyknit Series")
Nike's ultra-light, Olympic-centric, environmentally-conscious Flyknit HTM collection was released in a limited run at 21 Mercer on February 21st (get it?) They should be available to the $160+-carrying masses over the next few days, more...
/Sand-Imprint-Flip-Flops-1277.jpg?mode=crop "Sand Imprint Flip Flops")
Leave a message in the sand for those who follow in your footsteps, poignant or not. Anything you want. These suckers are custom made to say whatever it is you like. I predict 50% of the orders are for some variant of "Fuck .....". more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/Motherboard-Sandals-1033.jpg?mode=crop "Motherboard Sandals")
More form than function, these look meticulous in their construction. These were fashioned from PC mother boards, ribbon wire and a host of other electronic components. Click these heals together and you enter the matrix. more...
/spiderman-vs-venom-vans-4206.jpg "Spider-Man Vs. Venom Vans")
I know. In his latest incarnation, the Amazing Spider-Man doesn't battle Venom, but the kids at Walking Dead Apparel haven't decked out their Vans with a hand painted Lizard yet, and really, a red-webbed Spider-Man on the right foot, more...
/foot-lamp-flip-flops-4947.jpg "Headlight Flip Flops")
Though slippers with headlights fall more into the novelty category, flip flops with headlights may actually be one of the more useful footwear innovations. Not quite up there with Marty McFly Nikes, but certainly superior to wearable more...
/Zombie-Feet-Sandals-1111.jpg?mode=crop "Zombie Feet Sandals")
Looking for an improvement or cover up for your fungus encrusted toenails? These are the perfect solution. And if you don't have athlete's foot, or zombie foot yet, these just might prevent you from getting it in your dorm room shower. more...
/Slippers-With-Headlights-736.jpg?mode=crop "Slippers With Headlights")
I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor next to the more...
/Dust-Mop-Slippers-1198.jpg?mode=crop "Dust Mop Slippers")
No, gentlemen, October is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts for your wife. And the great thing about these slippers is that they look just like real mops, which ensures that when you wear them to collect the morning more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
