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Under NY Sky Aprons

$44.99 - $50.99 from Amazon »

I know these Under NY Sky Aprons look like they're made for hipsters. Hipsters smugly running the grill. Hipsters self-importantly standing at the host stand. Hipsters douchily manning the bar. Hipsters passive aggressively...

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Bowser Baby Carrier Cover

Discontinued

Here's a good way to keep strangers from touching your kid. Jeanette and her Naturally Crafty Etsy shop have craftily pounced on and taken down the scowling, snarling, pixel-thirsty King of the Koopas, and Mario's arch...

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686 Men's Tool Belt

$29.99 - $45 from Amazon »

Yep, it is indeed a Tool Belt. Good language manipulation, 686. This 100% full-grain and waterproof leather securer of pants incorporates a few of your trusty everyday carry tools into its everyday weary style. (Yes...

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Atomic Raygun Nose & Ear Hair Trimmer

$12.88 from Amazon »

Who'd have thought snipping off those wiry stragglers poking out of my left nostril could be the funnest thing I do all day? Cool beans, Atomic Trimmer!...

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Scalemail Spaulders

$65 from Etsy »

Fashion-forward and cosplaying ladies will love these scalemail spaulders and choker from Silmaril Clothing. Dudes, you might like them too if you can tear your eyes away from the model's tattoo long enough to check them...

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Magnetic Makker Keychain

No, it's not a real Monkey Fist, but the Makker Keychain is still a handy little piece of EDC. Also one that is way more legal in your state and way less likely to put your eye out. This handmade knot of leather is wrapped...

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Portable Travel Footrest

$18.90 from Amazon »

I used to stuff a wad of clothes I knew I'd need during my trip in my carry-on backpack so that I could use it as a footrest on the plane. But recently I discovered that if I put the overstuffed backpack on my open tray...

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Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie

$318 from Vollebak »

Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...

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Batman v. Superman Wooden Bow Ties

$75 from Woodnax »

As Batman and Superman duke it out on the big screen for Best (and Most Smug) Superhero, you and your friend Cornelius can clip on a pair of WoodnAx Batman and Superman wooden bow ties and duke it out in real life for...

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Traser H3 Translucent Tritium Watch

$225 from Amazon »

Plunge into darkness, or dark waters up to 100' deep, without ever losing track of how many minutes it is until Better Call Saul starts with Traser's H3 Translucent Tritium Watch. The Swiss watchmaker so named its time...

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The Key Safe

$24.99 from Amazon »

A Key Safe for your bills. Your geocaching adventures. Your pills (vitamins!) and paper tabs...of things. This stainless steel, water-tight cylinder is a handy EDC companion sized to hold an emergency stash of cash--or...

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Ascot T-Shirt

$30 from Ascot T-Shirt »

"I have a poem I'd like to read--Spalding, get your foot off the boat!" Whether you're re-enacting Judge Smails' christening of The Flying WASP or just looking for a garment that will garner you some extra attention from...

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Tire Graficx Custom Tire Decals

$39.99 from Tire Graficx »

Tire Graficx will make you a set of custom tire decals that tell everyone exactly how you roll...

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Eargasm High Fidelity Earplugs

$34.95 from Amazon »

Eargasm says their clear silicone ear plugs are "ideal for anyone with ears." Oooh, ooh, I think that's me!...

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Braun Series 7 Electric Foil Shaver

$169.97 from Amazon »

In one sense, yeah, this is just a Braun electric razor. It's not brand new and it won't shave your beard into a Maine Coon cat topiary. But for being on the pricier side of men's grooming devices, the Series 7 Electric...

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They Live Alien Donald Trump Mask

Remember John Carpenter's They Live? If you weren't into aliens and kitschy (yet poignant!) social commentary in 1988, the film suggests that America's "rulers"--the rich, the powerful, the elite, the CEOs and politicians--are...

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Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again...

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Lumus Ring

$99 - $130 from Kickstarter »

We've seen rings lined with whiskey barrels, dinosaur bone, and escape tools. But never before has there been one lined with Laser Luminance. Lumus Rings are titanium or carbon fiber outer bands with inner loops of "a...

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Mad Water Waterproof Duffel Bag

$152.95 from Amazon »

Mad Water makes companions for fishing trips, kayak trips, rafting trips, and trips to Hawaii, where it invariably rains the entire week I'm there. And never harder than when I'm watching my bag sit on an open luggage...

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Shomer-Tec Titanium Escape Ring

$59.99 from Amazon »

Shomer-Tec's Titanium Escape Ring won't just serve as a symbol of your love for and commitment to your wife, it will also get you out of the handcuffs that chick from the hotel bar leaves you in after she Roofies you...

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TacLace Rapid Boot Lacing System

Sold Out from Amazon »

Pull, cinch, and wrap. If your feet spend a lot of time in boots, and your hands too much time twisting and tying and double knotting, TacLaces could be the accessory you never knew you always needed...

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DNA Wedding Rings

Do you love one another enough to entwine double helixes forever? All of LA-based jeweler Takayas' rings and necklaces seem to have some ornate, whimsical, and unabashedly geeky flourish topping what are otherwise dazzling...

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Love is Art - Roll in the Hay Paint Kit

$60 from Amazon »

Actually it's more like a Roll in the Canvas Paint Kit. Love Is Art creator Jeremy Brown "has been making paintings during intimacy for over a decade," and now offers you and your favorite companion(s?) a kit with all...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...