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Knuckle Duster Engagement Rings

By: on January 18, 2012
$425
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When you can't remember if Mama said you can't hurry love, or if Mama said knock you out, it's best to cover all bases. These gleaming symbols of betrothal let everyone you encounter know you are blissfully off the market, and if they have a problem with that, you will fuck them up. Kate Bauman's knuckles are set in your choice of sterling silver or brass, and fitted with four, 1-carat cubic zirconia, with custom metal or stone options available by special request. All four rings are made in the same size--either 7, 9, or 11--and Bauman emphasizes that they should fit loosely, like a true knuckle duster. She also emphasizes that she does not support violent applications of her design. We don't either. Unless, of course, the would-be recipient is caught cheating with that smug little hippie from the grocery co-op, in which case it's 'til death, in the form of a Pacquiao-style left hook, do us part.

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Tulry Utility Necklace

$84 - $128 from Uncommon Goods »

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McWhinney Active Wedding Rings

$825 - $3,750 from McWhinney Designs »

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$59.99 from Amazon »

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TheTouch Real-Time Heartbeat Rings

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$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...

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Moonglow Rings

$275 - $375 from Black Badger »

Moonglow Rings take minimalistic colored and metal bands on a trip through classic sci-fi adventures when the lights go out. Though Black Badger Advanced Composites' glow-in-the-dark finger decor comes from Sweden, not...

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

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I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Bill Gates recently said he thinks Control-Alt-Delete was a mistake, but I'll bet if he saw the Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring he'd reconsider. Sure, programming Windows' universal Abort! command as 3 keys instead...

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QALO Wedding Rings for Athletes

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QALO, you win. Best line I've read all month: "After getting married we realized what a nuisance wearing our traditional wedding band was." I know, right? Suddenly women at after-work happy hour are turning down your...

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Femme Fatale Ring Gun

Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to...