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Zeke's Beard Wipes

By: on April 21, 2016
$25
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Ye with fountains o' facial hair, Zeke's has created these packs of Beard Wipes just for you. To get rid of the flakes, the stench, the grease, the sweat, and the double chocolate chip fudge cookies crumbs that aren't embedded in your follicles because you're saving them for later (this time....) Each disposable wipe looks like a wet nap, but comes preloaded with coconut oil, jojoba oil, and argan oil 3 essential beard grooming oils Zeke's says will ensure you do not enter the world with a "dirty, flaky, and itchy beard that smells weird," or that has devolved into a "forest of dandruff."

Zeke's compares using their wipes to keep your beard clean and shiny to shampooing your hair, both in terms of personal hygiene, and the product's gentle effects on your skin underneath; Zeke's Beard Wipes leave face 'fros feeling soft and fresh without irritating or drying your face itself.

The Zeke's Bear Wipes bundles shown here includes 1 x to-go pack of 10 Beard Wipes, plus 1 x 30-pack in a standard box for home.

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Human Burrito Blanket

$44.95 from Amazon »

A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...

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Gryp - The Germophobe's Keychain

$2.99 from Gryp »

Germophobes and Purell addicts, get a Gryp. Bacteria and micro-organisms are breeding, spreading, festering everywhere. You can't escape them! But with a solid Gryp on this reality, you can relax, go out into the world...

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EEEARS Reusable Ear Cleaner

$11 from Kickstarter »

It seems we're on an earwax offensive. EEEARS, a reusable cotton swab substitute for ear cleaning, joins the OtoSet automatic ear cleaning headset I saw earlier this month in the cache of tools forthcoming for wax elimination...

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The Beard Bro Beard-Shaping Tool

$17.79 from Amazon »

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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Whiskey River Sarcastic Soaps

$8.95 from Whiskey River »

Whiskey River Soaps are like modern-day Shakespearean comedies. Insightful in reading people. Precise in their social commentary. Charming and funny. And, to complement our 21st century needs, not tl;dr, and serving more...

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Willy Care Kit

$17.29 from Amazon »

If your name isn't William, and you don't need a gift for a dude named William, I can't imagine why you'd buy a Willy Care grooming kit. I mean, I know it's a common name and all, but are there really enough Willies out...

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Star Wars Storm Trooper Electric Shaver

$49.97 from Amazon »

They used the Force Friday on me and all I can see is Star Wars merch! The Storm Trooper Electric Shaver from Philips Norelco is another forthcoming (10/1/17) addition to the Star Wars: The Last Jedi frenzy....

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Bushbalm Pubic Hair Oils

$21 from Bushbalm »

Bushbalm is for us men who have spent one too many joyless nights this holiday season sitting around "just talking" and listening to Christmas music with our wives, girlfriends, and online dates, only to realize that...

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Chucky Bath Bomb

I know this Chucky Bath Bomb looks spherical, but take caution while using it. I can almost guarantee you there are some pointy edges hiding in there somewhere....

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Sand-Free Beach Mat

$34.95 - $99.95 from Amazon »

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

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Mysseuse Self-Massager & Towel Holder

$19.99 from Amazon »

I've makeshift Mysseuse-d myself on the corner of a wall or door more times than I can count. And self-massages with devices like the Shiatsu Pillow and doohickies like the Beastie Bar have become pretty popular for kneading...

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Octopus Shower Caddy

$32.95 from Amazon »

The Octopus Shower Caddy is for all of us and for everywhere. Kids and adults, dorms and McMansion master baths, those whose homes are already filled with cephalopods, and those still bereft of a single one. Look at this...