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Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss

Posted: September 12, 2019
Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss
$17.99
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Hello Oral Care's line that's supposed to sell us on their Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is "Fall black in love with flossing." Um. Huh. How to unpack that?

The easiest place to start is to ask when was I ever "in love" with flossing to begin with? At best it's been a tedious chore for me, at worst an instigator of mouthfuls of blood. And let's be honest, normally floss and flossing are nonissues altogether because I don't do it. So there's no chance a pack of Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is going to take me back to the days of intense, horny teenage floss passion. At best it will convince me to start flossing again. For a week or two.

The next piece of "Fall black in love with flossing," to me, alludes to the popular expression, "Once you go black you never go back." With so many activated charcoal products on the market now, I'm sure someone already co-opted this line for their own toothpaste / air freshener / toxin-fighting supplement, so Hello Oral Care decided to go a slightly different route to capitalize on a cheesy pun. Whatever the reasoning behind the choice, it doesn't work for me in this context either.

The floss itself probably works just fine thought. It's textured for easy between-teeth gliding and peppermint-flavored so it doesn't taste like the charcoal it's named after. The charcoal part, by the way, comes from sustainable bamboo. True to its name, it is intended to remove plaque while detoxifying. Here the Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is sold in packs of 3.

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