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New Year's Resolution Mugshot Signs

By: on December 24, 2015
$14.99
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The only thing I like less than photo booths with whimsical props is New Year's Resolutions. But these New Year's Resolution Mugshot photo / selfie signs for your NYE party do have one redeeming quality: they call it like it is. Photo booths make you feel like a prisoner of your girlfriend's incessant need to record every moment of forced fun for posting to Instagram, and New Year's Resolutions make you feel like a prisoner of your own poor choices in life to this point, plus a prisoner of your promise to fix them from here on out. So Happy 2016.

Mugshot signs come in packs of 20, each with a blank space for writing your resolution and one of 10 fun-loving follow-ups to the statement, such as "#YOLO," "Won't last a week," and "Challenge accepted."

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Nature's D*ck Pics 2018 Wall Calendar

$19.99 from Amazon »

Leave it to nature to penetrate our...hearts. The Nature's Dick Pics 2018 Wall Calendar takes us on a 12-month tour of some of the most striking rock formations Mother Nature ever created. When she was horny....

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Goats in Trees 2018 Calendar

$12.02 from Amazon »

Too bad the 2018 Goats in Trees calendar doesn't come with sound effects. Assuming the crazy SOBaaaahs that hoof it up trunks and balance on limbs are the same crazy SOBaaaahs that scream, that is. But imagine it: every...

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Baby Thug Onesie

$19.98 from Amazon »

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

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Nixie Flying Wearable Camera

By: Nixie »

The Nixie may be a ways from reality--and your wrist--but its live demo debut at CES 2016 proves it's a lot more than a few mockup drawings and some dude's dream (or, in this case, a dude and a dudette). The wearable...

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Belfie Butt Selfie Stick

By: Belfie »

If you (ladies) are going to take inordinate numbers of photos of your own self, you (ladies) may as well take them of the parts of your body I most enjoy looking at. The Belfie is a forthcoming butt selfie stick. Designed...

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This Book Is a Planetarium

$27.19 from Amazon »

This Book Is a Planetarium picks up right where your homemade eclipse viewer skills left off. You don't even need an empty Rice Krispies box or aluminum foil. Kelli Anderson's collection of functional doohickies are all...

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Podo Stick & Shoot Camera

$185 from Amazon »

Folders, multi-tools, and titanium toothpicks as EDC? Nah, the Podo Stick & Shoot Camera will get more daily use than all of those combined. Taking selfies, filming cat videos, and recording the shenanigans of airline...

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Birdie GoPro Camera Launcher

$49 from Amazon »

I hope you got good aim because Birdie is about to take your selfies from point-and-shoot to toss-and-see-WTF-happens. Snap your GoPro HERO 3+, 4, or 5 inside its arcing white cage and launch the Birdie into the air to...

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Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar

Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

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Prison Ramen: Recipes & Stories from Behind Bars

$8.98 from Amazon »

Good thing Shia La Beouf spent 25 hours in a New York City jail for acting like an asshat at a Broadway musical a couple years ago, or else the world may never have had Prison Ramen: Recipes and Stories from Behind Bars....

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The Dragon Sex Calendar

I can't believe it! Just yesterday I was thinking about cartoon sex--albeit between people, not dragons--and today I find a whole calendar of cartoon sex stills! And you know what: I think the thinking thinks even better...