Design

Hatching Dragon Candle

$44.09 from Firebox.com »

We've always known that out of the dragon's mouth comes the fire. Now, thanks to a particularly acid-washed, acid-tongued Mother, we also know it's possible that out of the fire's mouth come the dragons. So here's a candle...

Travel-Ready Cigar Humidor

$27.99 from Amazon »

Stogies in the morning, stogies in the evening, stogies on a 6-hour drive. When stogies got good storage you can smoke stogies anytime!...

Tempest Craft Blades & Sculptures

Need a sick rippled machete that embodies the Aztec goddess of obsidian and Lord of the Night? An Indo-Persian war axe? How about just a good ol' pair of ceremonial scissors? Bladesmith Tom Ward forges some of the most...

Scalemail Spaulders

$65 from Etsy »

Fashion-forward and cosplaying ladies will love these scalemail spaulders and choker from Silmaril Clothing. Dudes, you might like them too if you can tear your eyes away from the model's tattoo long enough to check them...

Tire Graficx Custom Tire Decals

$39.99 from Tire Graficx »

Tire Graficx will make you a set of custom tire decals that tell everyone exactly how you roll....

Love is Art - Roll in the Hay Paint Kit

$59.14 from Amazon »

Actually it's more like a Roll in the Canvas Paint Kit. Love Is Art creator Jeremy Brown "has been making paintings during intimacy for over a decade," and now offers you and your favorite companion(s?) a kit with all...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

Living Ink - Time-lapse Bio-ink

The researchers at Living Ink Technologies weren't spending all of their investors' money trying to figure out how to revolutionize disappearing ink for the 21st century. They were hoping to develop a sustainable algae...

Dragons & Other Fantastic Creatures in Origami

$16.95 from Amazon »

When I first saw this Dragons and Other Fantastic Creatures in Origami how-to book I was like, Sweet, I'm gonna make me some paper dragons. Then I looked at the contents and saw all the other fantastic creatures also...

New Year's Resolution Mugshot Signs

$19.99 from Amazon »

The only thing I like less than photo booths with whimsical props is New Year's Resolutions. But these New Year's Resolution Mugshot photo / selfie signs for your NYE party do have one redeeming quality: they call it...

Light-up Arcade Belt Buckles

$42 - $125 from Etsy »

All the sweet one-liners about paying to play, just a quarter for some action, and getting the high score you're thinking of right now? Get your mind above...well, not above the belt exactly. But above the area below...

Solid Silver Anus

$785 from Firebox.com »

Clearly, someone has figured out that the only better gift for your loved ones than an anus made of chocolate they can eat is an anus made of 55 grams of solid silver they can proudly display on their mantel, or perhaps...

SpellBrite Portable Modular LED Letters

$63 - $549 from SpellBrite »

Need some help marking your territory? Cheering on your favorite team? Welcoming the neighbor's Swedish au pair you kindly volunteered to pick up from the airport? SpellBrite incorporates the brightness, flash, and impact...

Bodily Candles

$29.69 from Firebox.com »

Been looking for some tabletop art to spruce up the living room? How's about a pair of candles made from the ears of Sloth and the mouth of the fat lady's face Arnold wore in Total Recall? The

Bullet Bouquets

$29.95 - $214.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

Zelda Engagement Chest & Rupee Ring Box

$220 from Etsy »

Will you be mine in holy nerd matrimony? In sickness (in which case I will give you some Red, Blue, or Green Potion) and in health (in which case I will guard your health bar with my Master Sword), in good Hyrulian times...

Edible Greeting Cards

Although these edible greeting cards look a little girly, I am willing to overlook that trait on account of the fact that I can eat them, thereby destroying any evidence I ever received one. Also, I do love me some 100%...

Tactical Holiday Stocking

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, ThinkGeek is happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with...

AR-15 Rifle Clothes Hangers

Discontinued

In the words of the great Salt 'n' Pepa: You're a shotgun--bang! What's up with that thang? I wanna know how does it hang? Here, the answer is in the (fire)arms of an AR-15, and--...

Hanging Geometric Coat Rack

$420 - $1,200 from Rene Siebum »

Rene Siebum made a Garderobe. That's Dutch for Wardrobe. Though in this case the designer's grid of hexagons that manually flip outward to hold hoodies, hats, and other bodily fixin's looks more like our definition of...

HUBOPTIC Equalizer Masks

$69 - $385 from Jorge Pong »

HUBOPTIC creator Jorge Pong has a few ideas for your next DJing gig. Or EDM show. Or killer robot with a soft spot for a heavy bass line costume. His electroluminescent equalizer masks come in both half- and full-face...

Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Duct Tape

$5.97 from Amazon »

When I send a package, send the bumper that's hanging off my car back to its rightful place on my car, and send a general message that I'm just trying to kill it at life, I also like to send the Bat-Signal. In glow-in-the-dark...

Business Knife - Multi-Tool Business Card

Just when I thought multi-tools had begun their demise from popular interest (along with mustaches, bacon, and zombies), Kiwi Anthony Cole comes up with the Business Knife. I wonder if constantly getting compared to and...

Foot Hammock

Well, it's no recliner. And it's no foot massage. And it's no having a lady wash your feet and cut your toenails and cuticles as you sit in one of those vibrating chairs at a nail salon...uh...so I've heard.... But the...

The Chewbaccoat

Discontinued

While it is abundantly clear that this image of naked Princess Leia draped in the hide of Chewbacca is just an illustration, looking at it still stirs up the strangest mix of revulsion and horniness within me. Chewbacca...

Silhouette Cameo Electronic Cutting Tool

$269.99 from Amazon »

The Silhouette Cameo is for crafty people. Crafty people who want to electronically cut their own intricately-designed greeting cards and cupcake papers. Or crafty people who want to DIY a perfect, mathematically accurate...

Lucky Golden Poo

$18 - $45 from Shapeways »

While some feel pooing gold provides the rectal rush of a lifetime, others find its one-and-done nature too fleeting. It's in, 4 hours to 3 days later it's out, and then it's over. For those in this latter group of precious...

Sky Lanterns

$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all...

Your Face Stamp

$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

Beast Tissue Dispensers

$12.99 - $45 from Etsy »

As some of you may know, tissues provide an alternative to blowing snot rockets or using your sleeve when you have clogged nostrils. Typically they are not worth seeking out, especially if doing so requires standing up...

Merry F**king Christmas Wrapping Paper

$12.35 from Calligraphuck »

Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one...

Quick Release Keychain Flashlight

$55 - $75 from Prometheus Lights »

Jason Hui has been making swanky custom flashlights for a few years now. Swanky in the senses that: they look cool; they cost a lot; and they burn up to 200% brighter than typical Maglites using fractionally-sized AAA...

Chewbacca Bathrobe

$62.89 from Amazon »

Being able to ride au naturel beneath a fuzzy fleece Chewbacca bathrobe is quite possibly the only upshot to summer's ending and the agony of shit cold, rain, and darkness kicking off my foreseeable future. How snug and...

Mustache Hangers

Sold Out from Amazon »

Although mustaches have largely run their trendy and ironic course, I bet there are people out there who still, always have, and always will genuinely adore them. And while I'd normally never be one to advocate keeping...

Lumi - Sunlight-Printed Fabric Kit

$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

Pita Bread Pencil Case

$23.90 from Etsy »

I'm calling it a pita bread pencil case because 1) pita bread is often stuffed with gyro meat or chicken souvlaki, both of which are superlatively delicious, and I would be very happy if my pencils and pens and crayons...

Insta-Luck - Authentic Four-Leaf Clover

$12.99 from Etsy »

Hell yes I could use some good luck. And the Insta-kind that requires no patience or input on my part would certainly be preferable. But my question is: do these four-leaf clovers that purportedly reverse misfortune...

Sound-Activated EL Wire Bra

$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire...

LumiLor Electroluminescent Coating

Last time you attended a rave or pimped your ride with EL wire, I bet you thought, "This electroluminescent technology is sick...but I wish I had it in sprayable form." Well, meet LumiLor, the answer to your prayers....

Emoticon Calendar

$12 from Etsy »

On the whole, emoticons are not my favorite addition to the human sphere of communication. However, one time I really wanted to break things off with this girl and was dragging my feet about it for like a month until...

The Like Sitting on Air Stool

$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting...

DJ Leggings

$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on...

Les Frites Bustier

Discontinued

This seems like a bad idea. When I see a plate of fries that isn't mine, I instantly begin salivating, fighting the urge to grab a handful and shove them in my mouth. I can't image seeing a rack of fries that isn't mine...

R2D2 Flash Drive Cuff Links

$199.99 from Amazon »

I guess because they're made of silver-plated enamel. Oh, and officially licensed by the Grand Poobahs of greed, Lucasfilm. That's the answer to your Why are R2D2 USB flash drive cuff links so effin' expensive?! question....

Tritium Keychains

Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

X-Ray Leggings

$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the...

Batman Contact Lenses

$39.90 from dbeauty shop »

Batman. He's conquered the comics. He's conquered the big screen. He's conquered Lycra and plastic composites armor. Now, he's here to take on eyeballs. Batman Contact Lenses make their wearers one with the Dark Knight's...