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Human Burrito Blanket

Sold Out from Amazon »

A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...

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Chewbacca Journal

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The Chewbacca Journal presents, Wookiee Deep Thoughts: Waag ahyeg ha. Wua ga ma uma ahuma ooma. RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg! Translation: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you are swimming and when you are angry....

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Internal Fire Glass Vortex Spheres

$100 - $6k from Internal Fire Glass »

Loooook into my orb. No really, check out a GIF of one of these Internal Fire Glass vortex spheres. The optical illusion is super trippy. And super... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Glass artist Scott Pernicka handcrafts...

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Whiskey River Sarcastic Soaps

$8.95 from Whiskey River »

Whiskey River Soaps are like modern-day Shakespearean comedies. Insightful in reading people. Precise in their social commentary. Charming and funny. And, to complement our 21st century needs, not tl;dr, and serving more...

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OLOID Mathematically Perfect Desk Sculpture

$25 - $73 from Kickstarter »

Paul Schatz discovered the oloid in 1929. Yes, discovered. It's not just some rando geometric shape or ergonomically designed fidget toy. The oloid is a real piece of the mathematics puzzle, and Patrick Schneider's OLOID...

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Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder

$34.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between way too much and not nearly enough geek lies the Keytendo, an NES-themed key holder, and your Goldilocks gift for a geek....

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Voice & Motion Activated Prank Stickers

$13.99 from Amazon »

More sticker fun for the office and airport pranksters. A 50-pack of Voice & Motion Activated prank stickers, my college friends, seem like a necessary addition to your suitcase when you head back to the dorm too....

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Moving Liquid Floor Tiles

$29.99 from Amazon »

Moving liquid floor tiles spell DIY dance floor at the wedding and will make every kid want to stomp and spin and roll all over the floor in their bedroom. Get a few for your girlfriend, and the neon fluid free-flowing...

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Reversible Sequin Mermaid Pillows

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These reversible sequin Mermaid Pillows are like a tactile Etch-A-Sketch made from a drag queen's donations to Goodwill! They're covered in two-sided, two-toned sequins that flip when you run your hands and fingers along...

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Color Changing Duct Tape

$4.99 - $8.97 from Amazon »

Chameleon Skinz duct tape throws it back to my Hypercolor days. Like the T-shirts of yore, their line of color changing adhesives is heat-sensitive, with each tape's primary hue taking a spectral glide into another when...

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$12.20 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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Fake Wall Outlet Sticker Prank

$6.99 from Amazon »

Just Basic Dave took one look at these Fake Wall Outlet Stickers and he knew: the next great prank of 2017 had arrived. Through his Twitter account Dave has posted videos of his fake outlet shenanigans at the airport...

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Personalized Custom Coloring Books

$32.50 - $145.99 from Colored Moments »

If you're crafty, you can probably make a personalized custom coloring book of your wedding, your trip to Italy, or your best Instagrammed food photos all by yourself with a few flicks of some Photoshop filters and some...

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Flowered Fishnet Stockings

$109.99 - $349.89 from Etsy »

My girlfriend says Lirika Matoshi's fishnets, handmade stockings with intricate flowers and other ethereal-nature-fairy elements woven in, are works of art. Yeah, I can see that. But what I mostly see is that the tights...

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Steel Roses

$63.69 from Etsy »

It's cold as balls in Findland, so metalsmith Anssi Routavirta gave up on trying to give his wife roses from the florist, and set to making her the bouquet himself. From steel. His hand-forged results are all freestyle...

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Creative Versa-Tool Burn Pen for Pyrography

$25.44 from Amazon »

Pyrography. It's when you're not obsessed with setting things on fire, you're just burning them for the sake of art. And this Creative Versa-Tool is the burn pen maker Walnut Hollow would like you to use to do it....

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Adult Achievement Stickers

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Children receive stickers for achievements such as pooping in the pot, getting straight A's, and coming in last (but participating!) Why shouldn't adults get some comparable adhesive words of affirmation when they done...

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Nimuno Loops LEGO Compatible Adhesive Tape

$11 - $50 from indiegogo »

LEGO my Eggo. Really. Stick a strip of Nimuno Loops LEGO-compatible adhesive tape on your frozen waffle box, or maybe the plate you're serving them on, and go to LEGO town building a fortress none shall pass as you eat...

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Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

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STORY Levitating Timepiece

$399 - $499 from FLYTE »

Remember FLYTE the levitating lightbulb? Its creators have expanded their free-floating repertoire from Edison to Einstein with this levitating timepiece. STORY is a magnet-guided metal ball that rotates around a wooden...

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It's On Like Donkey Kong Ring Box

$39 from Etsy »

If proposing to your girlfriend with a giant Legend of Zelda Proposal Chest is too over-the-top geeky for you, take a more subtle route with this It's On Like Donkey Kong engagement ring box. Well, subtle at least in...

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AIR-INK: Ink Made from Air Pollution

$25 - $198 from Graviky Labs »

Think of AIR-INK as clean dirt. A series of markers and a vial of screen printing ink, the artist's tools are made from captured and purified air pollution particulate matter. In more visual terms, AIR-INK creators Graviky...

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Legend of Zelda Proposal Chest

$180 from Etsy »

Hello, Link cosplayers, geeky romantics, and dudes interested in easing the reality of what a certain question means with a clever, creative, 8-bit way of popping it. Candace Phillips, through her shop AFK for Cosplay...

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FEBO - Draw with the Sun

$44 - $97 from FEBO »

FEBO is your paintbrush, the sun is your watercolor. Your acrylic. Your oil. Well, no. Really still just a big ball of fire, but now your big ball of fire. The clever FEBO design magnifies and focuses the sun's rays such...

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T.HANKS Thank You Card

$4.50 from Etsy »

'Tis the season of giving, and the season of gratitude. A time to hide presents under the tree, and a time to say thank you for those with your name on them. Or, if you're a cool kid like Allen Bauer, Josh Baskin, Det....

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Ron English's Vandalism Starter Kit

$12.95 from Amazon »

Ron English is the father of POPaganda, a term he coined himself to describe his clever, eye-POPping artwork that mashes up the best and worst of POP culture. Ron English's Vandalism Starter Kit converts some of his finest...

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Hate Mail Anti-Greeting Cards

$6 from Etsy »

Hatemail won't just print you the perfect card for your ex / arch nemesis, they'll mail it for you. With a personalized, custom message. 100% anonymously. If you like....

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Buddha Board - Zenned-Out Etch-A-Sketch

$34.95 from Amazon »

Doodle yourself* Zen with the Buddha Board. Go on, give it a try. The more tactile Etch-a-Sketch says a few strokes of its water-dipped brush can calm your mind and set you on a path towards inner peace....

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Hatching Dragon Candle

$44.09 from »

We've always known that out of the dragon's mouth comes the fire. Now, thanks to a particularly acid-washed, acid-tongued Mother, we also know it's possible that out of the fire's mouth come the dragons. So here's a candle...

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Travel-Ready Cigar Humidor

$24.99 from Amazon »

Stogies in the morning, stogies in the evening, stogies on a 6-hour drive. When stogies got good storage you can smoke stogies anytime!...

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Tempest Craft Blades & Sculptures

Need a sick rippled machete that embodies the Aztec goddess of obsidian and Lord of the Night? An Indo-Persian war axe? How about just a good ol' pair of ceremonial scissors? Bladesmith Tom Ward forges some of the most...

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Scalemail Spaulders

$65 from Etsy »

Fashion-forward and cosplaying ladies will love these scalemail spaulders and choker from Silmaril Clothing. Dudes, you might like them too if you can tear your eyes away from the model's tattoo long enough to check them...

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Tire Graficx Custom Tire Decals

$39.99 from Tire Graficx »

Tire Graficx will make you a set of custom tire decals that tell everyone exactly how you roll....

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Love is Art - Roll in the Hay Paint Kit

$60 from Amazon »

Actually it's more like a Roll in the Canvas Paint Kit. Love Is Art creator Jeremy Brown "has been making paintings during intimacy for over a decade," and now offers you and your favorite companion(s?) a kit with all...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

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Living Ink - Time-lapse Bio-ink

The researchers at Living Ink Technologies weren't spending all of their investors' money trying to figure out how to revolutionize disappearing ink for the 21st century. They were hoping to develop a sustainable algae...

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Dragons & Other Fantastic Creatures in Origami

$19.19 from Amazon »

When I first saw this Dragons and Other Fantastic Creatures in Origami how-to book I was like, Sweet, I'm gonna make me some paper dragons. Then I looked at the contents and saw all the other fantastic creatures also...

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New Year's Resolution Mugshot Signs

$14.99 from Amazon »

The only thing I like less than photo booths with whimsical props is New Year's Resolutions. But these New Year's Resolution Mugshot photo / selfie signs for your NYE party do have one redeeming quality: they call it...

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Light-up Arcade Belt Buckles

$42 - $125 from Etsy »

All the sweet one-liners about paying to play, just a quarter for some action, and getting the high score you're thinking of right now? Get your mind above...well, not above the belt exactly. But above the area below...

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Solid Silver Anus

$785 from »

Clearly, someone has figured out that the only better gift for your loved ones than an anus made of chocolate they can eat is an anus made of 55 grams of solid silver they can proudly display on their mantel, or perhaps...

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SpellBrite Portable Modular LED Letters

$63 - $549 from SpellBrite »

Need some help marking your territory? Cheering on your favorite team? Welcoming the neighbor's Swedish au pair you kindly volunteered to pick up from the airport? SpellBrite incorporates the brightness, flash, and impact...

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Bodily Candles

$29.69 from »

Been looking for some tabletop art to spruce up the living room? How's about a pair of candles made from the ears of Sloth and the mouth of the fat lady's face Arnold wore in Total Recall? The

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Bullet Bouquets

$29.95 - $214.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

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Zelda Engagement Chest & Rupee Ring Box

Sold Out from Etsy »

Will you be mine in holy nerd matrimony? In sickness (in which case I will give you some Red, Blue, or Green Potion) and in health (in which case I will guard your health bar with my Master Sword), in good Hyrulian times...

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Edible Greeting Cards

Although these edible greeting cards look a little girly, I am willing to overlook that trait on account of the fact that I can eat them, thereby destroying any evidence I ever received one. Also, I do love me some 100%...

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Tactical Holiday Stocking

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, ThinkGeek is happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with...

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AR-15 Rifle Clothes Hangers


In the words of the great Salt 'n' Pepa: You're a shotgun--bang! What's up with that thang? I wanna know how does it hang? Here, the answer is in the (fire)arms of an AR-15, and--...

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Hanging Geometric Coat Rack

$420 - $1,200 from Rene Siebum »

Rene Siebum made a Garderobe. That's Dutch for Wardrobe. Though in this case the designer's grid of hexagons that manually flip outward to hold hoodies, hats, and other bodily fixin's looks more like our definition of...

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HUBOPTIC Equalizer Masks

$69 - $385 from Jorge Pong »

HUBOPTIC creator Jorge Pong has a few ideas for your next DJing gig. Or EDM show. Or killer robot with a soft spot for a heavy bass line costume. His electroluminescent equalizer masks come in both half- and full-face...

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Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Duct Tape

$18.40 from Amazon »

When I send a package, send the bumper that's hanging off my car back to its rightful place on my car, and send a general message that I'm just trying to kill it at life, I also like to send the Bat-Signal. In glow-in-the-dark...

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Business Knife - Multi-Tool Business Card

Just when I thought multi-tools had begun their demise from popular interest (along with mustaches, bacon, and zombies), Kiwi Anthony Cole comes up with the Business Knife. I wonder if constantly getting compared to and...

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Foot Hammock

$12.50 from Amazon »

Well, it's no recliner. And it's no foot massage. And it's no having a lady wash your feet and cut your toenails and cuticles as you sit in one of those vibrating chairs at a nail I've heard.... But the...

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The Chewbaccoat


While it is abundantly clear that this image of naked Princess Leia draped in the hide of Chewbacca is just an illustration, looking at it still stirs up the strangest mix of revulsion and horniness within me. Chewbacca...

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Silhouette Cameo Electronic Cutting Tool

$239.81 from Amazon »

The Silhouette Cameo is for crafty people. Crafty people who want to electronically cut their own intricately-designed greeting cards and cupcake papers. Or crafty people who want to DIY a perfect, mathematically accurate...

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Lucky Golden Poo

$18 - $45 from Shapeways »

While some feel pooing gold provides the rectal rush of a lifetime, others find its one-and-done nature too fleeting. It's in, 4 hours to 3 days later it's out, and then it's over. For those in this latter group of precious...

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Sky Lanterns

$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all...

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Your Face Stamp

$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

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Beast Tissue Dispensers

$12.99 - $45 from Etsy »

As some of you may know, tissues provide an alternative to blowing snot rockets or using your sleeve when you have clogged nostrils. Typically they are not worth seeking out, especially if doing so requires standing up...

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Merry F**king Christmas Wrapping Paper

$12.35 from Calligraphuck »

Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one...

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Quick Release Keychain Flashlight

$55 - $75 from Prometheus Lights »

Jason Hui has been making swanky custom flashlights for a few years now. Swanky in the senses that: they look cool; they cost a lot; and they burn up to 200% brighter than typical Maglites using fractionally-sized AAA...

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Chewbacca Bathrobe

$59.95 from Amazon »

Being able to ride au naturel beneath a fuzzy fleece Chewbacca bathrobe is quite possibly the only upshot to summer's ending and the agony of shit cold, rain, and darkness kicking off my foreseeable future. How snug and...

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Mustache Hangers

Sold Out from Amazon »

Although mustaches have largely run their trendy and ironic course, I bet there are people out there who still, always have, and always will genuinely adore them. And while I'd normally never be one to advocate keeping...

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Lumi - Sunlight-Printed Fabric Kit

$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

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Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

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Pita Bread Pencil Case

$23.90 from Etsy »

I'm calling it a pita bread pencil case because 1) pita bread is often stuffed with gyro meat or chicken souvlaki, both of which are superlatively delicious, and I would be very happy if my pencils and pens and crayons...

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Insta-Luck - Authentic Four-Leaf Clover

Sold Out from Etsy »

Hell yes I could use some good luck. And the Insta-kind that requires no patience or input on my part would certainly be preferable. But my question is: do these four-leaf clovers that purportedly reverse misfortune...

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Sound-Activated EL Wire Bra

$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire...

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LumiLor Electroluminescent Coating

Last time you attended a rave or pimped your ride with EL wire, I bet you thought, "This electroluminescent technology is sick...but I wish I had it in sprayable form." Well, meet LumiLor, the answer to your prayers....

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Emoticon Calendar

$12 from Etsy »

On the whole, emoticons are not my favorite addition to the human sphere of communication. However, one time I really wanted to break things off with this girl and was dragging my feet about it for like a month until...

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The Like Sitting on Air Stool

$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting...

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DJ Leggings

$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on...

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Les Frites Bustier


This seems like a bad idea. When I see a plate of fries that isn't mine, I instantly begin salivating, fighting the urge to grab a handful and shove them in my mouth. I can't image seeing a rack of fries that isn't mine...

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R2D2 Flash Drive Cuff Links

$174.95 from Amazon »

I guess because they're made of silver-plated enamel. Oh, and officially licensed by the Grand Poobahs of greed, Lucasfilm. That's the answer to your Why are R2D2 USB flash drive cuff links so effin' expensive?! question....

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Tritium Keychains


Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

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X-Ray Leggings

$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the...

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Batman Contact Lenses

$39.90 from dbeauty shop »

Batman. He's conquered the comics. He's conquered the big screen. He's conquered Lycra and plastic composites armor. Now, he's here to take on eyeballs. Batman Contact Lenses make their wearers one with the Dark Knight's...

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The BevBuckle

$34.99 from The Beer Buckle »

BevBuckle! It was on Shark Tank. I didn't see the episode, but that's what it says all over the Internet, so it must be true. Respectable programming like Shark Tank wouldn't allow a retractable booze-holding belt buckle...

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"Hold Me, Aliens" Coat

Well, maybe it's just called the "Hold Me" coat, but this bizarrre gem from Si Chan's fall collection of handsy fashion looks like a line of little green men flanking the zipper--and the wearer's torso--to me. Chan explains...

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Calligraphuck Profane Greeting Cards

$6.50 from Calligraphuck »

What do you get when you add two parts graphic designer to one part comedian? According to Linus Boman, the answer is Calligraphuck. Boman's brainchild, Calligraphuck Profane Greeting Cards, combines famed flourishes...

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Nintendo Controller Briefcase


If you're gonna make a Nintendo Controller Briefcase, might as well make it look like one that should be handcuffed to the carrier's wrist. There's no way anyone's getting through TSA without a cavity search carrying...

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Alien Facehugger Corset


I just cracked the ever-loving Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem out of my knee cap on the corner of a coffee table, but somehow, as I gaze upon the Chesthugger...

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Star Trek Towels

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

What's the first thing you like to think of when you step out of the shower? If you said William Shatner, have I got a bath towel for you. Star Trek Towels turn drying off after bath time, beach time, and backyard dunk...

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Batman Party Invitations


Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy...

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Street Art Walls Notebook

$13 from Amazon »

Practice your best Banksy rip-off on 80+ pages of New York City walls in this cleverly designed notebook. I guess if you come up with something decent, you can search out the real scene and replicate it. Then go to jail....

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Porcelain Skulls

These remind me of the inside of a seashell combined with the skull of a superhuman... like Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie or Larry David. I think these are the type of pieces that you can't own if you also own little kids....