Beast Tissue Dispensers
/beast-tissue-holders-11702.jpg "Beast Tissue Holders")
- Tiki Head Tissue Box Cover - $17.00
- Octopus Tissue Dispenser - $3.69
- Wooden Scholar's Antique Book Tissue Box Dispenser - $24.00
- House Tissue Holder - $10.48
- Car Visor Tissue Holder - $2.99
As some of you may know, tissues provide an alternative to blowing snot rockets or using your sleeve when you have clogged nostrils. Typically they are not worth seeking out, especially if doing so requires standing up or walking into another room, but these whimsical beasts designed to hold your Kleenex and Puffs Plus boxes might make the additional effort worth it.
From Etsy shop Sparkly Pony comes a series of wooden whales, elephants, rabbits, horses, and, best of all, a stegosaurus, to store and dispense otherwise unremarkable boxes of tissue. Available in the nose blower's choice of colors, each beast has been cut, sanded, painted, and assembled by hand. Two coats of glossy latex paint endow the holders with their designers' Sparkly namesake, and also make them easy to wipe free of germs from grubby, snot-encrusted fingers.
Each beast tissue dispenser is stamped, dated, signed, and numbered with its order of purchase.
Blizzident - 6-Second Toothbrush
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/lorals-latex-panties-a-new-50445.jpg?mode=crop "Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral")
Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral
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/the-cleanshot-bidet-photo-59643.jpg?mode=crop "The CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth")
The CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth
Dudes, have you yet to accept the wonder and benevolence of bidets into your hearts? If so, I've got something to, shall we say, sweeten the pot for you. The CleanShot. A bidet that rinses and dries your junk, and then...
/the-right-cup-brain-tricking-29055.jpg?mode=crop "The Right Cup - Brain-Tricking Flavored Cup")
The Right Cup - Brain-Tricking Flavored Cup
Brain-tricking and NKOTB-approved, The Right Cup is a scented and slightly flavored water cup designed to engage your senses in a way that will make you think you're drinking sweet and fruity water when all that's inside...
/whalecum-mat-30299.jpg?mode=crop "Whalecum Mat")
Whalecum Mat
Whalecum, my friends. We have nothing but whalecum for you in this house. Spermy the Whale gives a gushing "Hello!" to all guests who cross the threshold in this delightful Whalecum Mat...
Down There Repair
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Santa, you better man up because your sleigh is about to be filled to the gates of heaven with prints of "Batman Puking His Friggin Guts Out" and "Bazooka Whale." I don't know what's more enamoring here: Jann Van Zant's...
/my-shiney-hiney-brush-set-24616.jpg?mode=crop "My Shiney Hiney Brush Set")
My Shiney Hiney Brush Set
Well. I wouldn't argue it isn't dirty. I'm just not sure I care enough to go to the lengths required to make my hiney shiney. I think this cleansing brush set for the bunghole is geared towards women anyway, judging by...
Life-Size Blue Whale Kite
I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet...
Amabrush 10-Second Automatic Toothbrush
Amabrush says it's the World's First Automatic Toothbrush, but watching the demo video makes me think it's just the first time someone thought to cross a Blizzident with a vibrator...
AquaDance Drencher Showerhead
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/whale-water-splash-guard-for-59611.jpg?mode=crop "Whale Water Splash Guard for Sinks")
Whale Water Splash Guard for Sinks
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