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Halloween Contact Lenses

By: on September 25, 2013
$29.50 - $239.99
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Minions will cower and tremble in fear when they meet the all-powerful GnarledJaggedPlaqueLaden Teeth Eyes! Hey, I get the appeal of colored and themed contact lenses, particularly for Halloween, cosplay, and other costumed events worthy of shaking things up with one's irises. But I already think eyes are scary as all get out--like Anaconda eyes and the eyes of that witch in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and when Nathan Fillion as Caleb the horrific black-eyed pastor stuck his thumbs in Xander Harris' eyes--so why do people have to go and double the quantity of my cold sweat by putting demon teeth in them? Also, these are ridiculous. Ladies, you can buy contacts that will make you look like Selene from Underworld or a lovely blue snowflake. Please don't buy the ones that will send me running even before you point out your 6'4", 240-pound boyfriend whose Rambo costume includes an M60 that may or may not be a prop replica.

Halloween--or everyday, depending on how you roll--contact lenses come in over 100 different colors and styles. Some recognizable favorites include: Link from The Legend of Zelda; Gremlin; Hellraiser; Werewolf; Walking Dead; and Cheshire Cat. Novelty lenses sold by Lens.com are FDA-approved for eye safety.

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Skull Ice Molds

$12.09 from Amazon »

I've seen skull ice molds before, but never a set that makes a 3D dead man looking downright dapper in a top hat and monocle. His buddy the pirate has a certain charm too. And all 3 of the silicone molds show a remarkable...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Cereal Killer Bowl

$24 from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man....

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Waterphone - Horror Sound Effects Instrument

$299 from Amazon »

The waterphone. Those who hate scary movies might call it torture for the ears. Those who love them? Will call it their new favorite instrument....

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Haunted Skull Cakelet Pan

$79.99 from Amazon »

Skull "cakelets." Spooky, sinister, and...adorable. Bring on the devil's food, 'cause you're haunting me with your cuteness, little skulls....

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Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture

$236.41 from Amazon »

The Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture is just in case you were curious what it would look like to throw a skeleton up against the wall in a hot blaze of passion and take it from behind. The arched back...

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Armored Leather Wonder Woman Costume

$875 from UD Replicas »

Why simply dress up as Wonder Woman when you can transform into Wonder Woman corseted and zipped into custom sewn leather form-molded over motorcycle grade body armor? This UD Replicas creation isn't just a costume, it's...