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Halloween Contact Lenses

By: on September 25, 2013
$29.50 - $239.99
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Minions will cower and tremble in fear when they meet the all-powerful GnarledJaggedPlaqueLaden Teeth Eyes! Hey, I get the appeal of colored and themed contact lenses, particularly for Halloween, cosplay, and other costumed events worthy of shaking things up with one's irises. But I already think eyes are scary as all get out--like Anaconda eyes and the eyes of that witch in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and when Nathan Fillion as Caleb the horrific black-eyed pastor stuck his thumbs in Xander Harris' eyes--so why do people have to go and double the quantity of my cold sweat by putting demon teeth in them? Also, these are ridiculous. Ladies, you can buy contacts that will make you look like Selene from Underworld or a lovely blue snowflake. Please don't buy the ones that will send me running even before you point out your 6'4", 240-pound boyfriend whose Rambo costume includes an M60 that may or may not be a prop replica.

Halloween--or everyday, depending on how you roll--contact lenses come in over 100 different colors and styles. Some recognizable favorites include: Link from The Legend of Zelda; Gremlin; Hellraiser; Werewolf; Walking Dead; and Cheshire Cat. Novelty lenses sold by Lens.com are FDA-approved for eye safety.

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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American Paper Optics Solar Eclipse Glasses

$39.99 from Amazon »

American Paper Optics and their eclipse viewing glasses have a PSA: look straight at the sun during the total solar eclipse coming America's way on August 21, 2017, and you'll know exactly what people mean when they say...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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GlassUp - Smartphone HUD Eyeglasses

$299 from GlassUp »

GlassUp. They're a pair of HUD smartphone-linked glasses that flash texts, emails, news updates, directions, any messages for which you would normally look down and consult a screen, right onto the glass in front of your...

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Alien Mind Control Mask

$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

By: VFXLAB »

Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Outer Space Vodka

$5.99 - $29.99 from Outer Space Vodka »

What's scarier than this freak parade of masks on Halloween night? The head-splitting, toilet-hugging hangover we're all going to have Sunday morning. Especially with 1) Daylight Saving Time ending at 2 a.m., giving everyone...

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Halloween Gear Guide

Oh boy, it's time to start shelling out your hard-earned cash for a hard-earned night of reckless abandon, mad debauchery, mass sugar and alcohol consumption, and sitting front and center at the Parade of Hot Slutty Girl...