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Star Trek: The Next Generation Hoodies

By: on November 04, 2013
$59.99
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They may be only moderately reminiscent of the uniforms Picard & Co. wore in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but definitely these hoodies will be more comfortable, breathable, and sported acceptably by all shapes and sizes than the Enterprise crew's stifling Spandex, gut-and-ass-spotlighting wardrobe. ThinkGeek's zip-up nod to the pinnacle of sci-fi franchises even runs up to size XXXL.

The Command (red), Sciences (blue), and Operations (gold) sweatshirts feature hoods with colored piping along their edges such that when the hood is down it mimics the Enterprise member's uniform collar. ThinkGeek notes their intentional design of the exclusive hoodie without pips so buyers can add their own, accurate reflections of current Starfleet rank.

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Star Trek: TOS Bluetooth Communicator

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

In the original Star Trek series, the communicator was a super long-range walkie-talkie Starfleet ships used to message between or within each other. Over time, it became an artifact of the future as seen through the...

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Ramen Hoodie

$18.99 - $22.99 from Amazon »

Eat it or wear it, that's what my grandma used to say. It was meant to be a threat, but now that I see this delightfully loud and obnoxious Ramen Hoodie, I think I would like to retroactively choose the latter. I'll wear...

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Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie

$318 from Vollebak »

Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...

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World's Tackiest Sweaters

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of...

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Passages - The William Shatner Watch

$399 from indiegogo »

Now, is the Passages the kind of Shatner watch that can command an Enterprise, or the kind of Shatner watch that encourages you to name the price you'll pay for it, and if there are any left in stock, it's yours? Well...

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Drinkmaster Hoodie

$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate...

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Starfleet Machine Clock

$30,750 from MB&F »

According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet...

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Star Trek Enterprise Rocker

$195 from Etsy »

It's been awhile--January 2012 to be exact--since I've seen hand-carved Star Trek splendor of this baby rocker's magnitude. Anyone remember the Enterprise coffee table? Maybe in the 4-1/2 years since you bought and set...

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Harley Quinn Hoodie

Discontinued

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...

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Together Wear Hugging Hoodie

$69 - $139 from Together Wear »

It was our early experiences with winter that first taught us about hugging a loved one to stay warm, and our early experiences with 80s denim that first taught us about sticking a hand in a loved one's back pocket to...

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Harvard Law...Just Kidding Sweatshirt

$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send...

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USS Enterprise Ring

$595 - $3,890 from Etsy »

A USS Enterprise engagement ring is what happens when true love collides with the reluctant decision to propose to some chick. As a male with a basic appreciation for the Star Trek TV series and movies, plus a deep respect...