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Ranch Dressing Ugly Christmas Sweater

Posted: November 18, 2019
Ranch Dressing Ugly Christmas Sweater

Once upon a time, Hidden deep in the Valley of ugly Christmas sweaters, there lived a bottle of Ranch Dressing. So sad was the Ranch that while the likes of Santa and the Elves, Frosty and Rudolph, and even Bill & Ted and tacos had been woven in myriad brilliant colors and clever sayings across the landscapes of ugly Christmas sweaters, the only time Ranch got to participate in the fun was when someone wearing one of the sweaters accidentally dropped a gelatinous white wad of it down their front after a visit to the hors d'oeuvres table.

Every night, tucked back into the door of the refrigerator, the Ranch Dressing would make the same Christmas wish to Santa: Please, please Santa, let them turn me into an ugly Christmas sweater.

It took years, decades even, but at long last, Santa heard the Ranch Dressing's plea, and placed a call to Hidden Valley. So this year the Ranch Dressing has its very own ugly Christmas sweater. And now you too can have your very own Ranch Dressing ugly Christmas sweater.

When you're at your ugly Christmas sweater party, you can even authenticate it with a little dribble at the veggies & dip table.

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