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Phone-Cleaning Microfiber T-Shirts

By: on January 30, 2016
$18 - $22
from
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Those microfiber cloth squares they give you with your phones and tablets to clean the screens? Or your glasses and sunglasses to polish the lenses? I usually accidentally throw mine away with the box. Or forget them. Or lose them. Genius Tee, committed to keeping our personal effects smudge-, dirt-, and white-cheddar-popcorn-dust-free without requiring us to remember or keep track of things, has designed a line of T-Shirts with microfiber cloths sewn into them.

Genius Patch, Genius Pocket, and Genius Loop shirts guarantee that come sweat, snack, or sunscreen you'll always have a clean screen or lens to use. Sure, you could keep de-griming your gear with the edge of your non-Genius T-Shirt, but unlike human bodies, glass and plastic composites do not respond so well to the touch, the feel of cotton. It mostly just pushes the grease around and leaves behind tiny fabric particulates. Genius Tees incorporate a photography-grade slice of microfiber into your clothing that is designed especially for dust and grease removal.

Choose from T-shirts with a diagonal microfiber patch or graspable loop at the bottom, or a pull-out flap at the front pocket. Men's and women's sizes in various colors are available.

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ScorpionExo Covert Kevlar Flannel Shirt

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The JerkShirt (NSFW)

Now don't take NSFW the wrong way. The JerkShirt was indeed created primarily for the office (and secondarily for the dinner table). But I would caution against watching the video, illuminating as it may be, within eye-...

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Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

$48.50 from FunkyBod »

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

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Up - The Don't Slouch T-Shirt

$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and...

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Bulletproof Polo Shirt

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country...

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Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt

I just...I can't...I...what the butt, Japan?! The Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt baffles me on so many levels. First, why is the butt positioned so that it's exploding out of the wearer's chest Alien-style? Why is it on...

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Qore Performance Hydration Shirt

$143.91 - $179 from Amazon »

What I would like Qore's Hydration Shirt to do is osmosis water through my skin from tiny little reservoirs housed in its bicep, triceps, shoulders, and abs--sized and shaped to looked like the ripped results of my own...

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Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

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Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

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I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

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Black Rhodium Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks

Sold Out from Amazon »

These Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks, made of polished black rhodium, and ready to spin real fast when you blow on them, are the perfect last-minute gift for Dads! Well, as long as you're a son with a healthy income. Or...

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Short Sleeve Weighted Training Shirt

$249.99 from Amazon »

Here's a way to make yourself way less comfortable, but way more badass while working out. The TITIN Force is a complete weighted compression system all tucked into a short sleeve shirt. It utilizes a 3-part hyper gravity...

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Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 from Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...