66

Cuts of Meat Dress

By: on April 20, 2013
$62
from
Check It Out

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing that I can look at it for only 12 or so minutes without having to look away. Since Kelly of I'm Your Present makes them to order, I would suggest those interested in having one request that she remove all of the dashed-line cut indications except for Rack and Rump, and then the dress would just look hot with no unsavory undertones.

Cuts of Meat dresses are made from creme jersey on the outside and a white jersey lining on the inside. They are available in sizes XS through XL. Isn't it strange how society reveres cows with a lot of meat on their bones but prefers women with hardly any? I know, sorry. That's too much to think about on a Saturday.

Cosmo suggests accessorizing a Cuts of Meat dress with a pair of Bear Paw Meat Handlers.

Buy Now

Raclette Interactive Party Grill

$74.99 from Amazon »

Raclette grills epitomize the best way to host a dinner party: make all the guests cook their food themselves. Named for a Swiss cheese that melts well, raclette has evolved to include a Swiss style of interactive dining...

Check it out

Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

Buy Now

Ziv's Portable Smoker

$119.95 from Amazon »

Ziv likes his fish straight out of the smoker the same night he catches it. Even if he's spending that night in Mother Nature's backyard instead of his own. He created Ziv's Portable Smoker - a cooker box that collapses...

Check it out

Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

Buy Now

Smoke Puck Meat Infusers

$12.10 from Amazon »

They say these smoke pucks pack punch. Right in your meat's kisser! Smaller than a wood or pellet smoker, or even a wood / pellet smoker box that sits under your grill lid, the Steven Raichlen Best of Barbecue Stainless...

Check it out

Country Archer Natural Meat Snacks

$2.75 - $6 from Country Archer »

Country Archer makes meat snacks for those of us who are done with dry, brittle jerky that tastes like nothing but fake smoke and salt, and feels like it's going to puncture our gut when we swallow it. And also for those...

Buy Now

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$89.90 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

Buy Now

Smokemiester BBQ Smoker Grill Converter

$119.95 from Amazon »

Holy smokes...miester! A Weber, a hole saw, and a coupla Bud Light Limes on a Saturday afternoon, and my Bru-BQ Wayne kettle grill becomes a Bat-Smoker too! The Smokemiester BBQ Smoker converts any covered grill into...

Check it out

The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

Buy Now

The Burger Lift

$10.86 from Amazon »

Even though the Burger Lift is kind of a head-scratcher--wait, why do I need a plastic rack in the shape of a burger to raise my real burger half an inch off the plate?--it still might be one of the most logical things...

Check it out

MeatSweats Relaxation Pants

MeatSweats want to help you kick back, relax, and show the world how proud you are of the 32-ounce porterhouse you demolished all by yourself. Their 100% polyester construction would also be happy to wick away the dew...

Buy Now

Stovetop Korean BBQ Grill Pan

$29.98 from Amazon »

If you haven't had or don't know what Korean BBQ is, click here for a thousand words. And here for a thousand more. Typically, a Korean BBQ is a tabletop-sized gas or charcoal grill that