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SweatBlock Clinical Strength 7-Day Antiperspirant

By: on March 15, 2017
$19.99
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Yeah, yeah I know sweating is healthy, but everything in moderation, right? And if your glands produce more of a torrential downpour than a morning dew every time you get hot, winded, or stressed out, SweatBlock antiperspirant may be able to help put your biological weather patterns in check.

For those with decidedly "active" sweat glands, an underarm rubdown with SweatBlock's individually-packaged towelettes can reduce your output for up to a week. That's 7 days of pit stain freedom per application / towelette. The listing here includes a box of 8 SweatBlocks, each wrapped into what looks like condom shape and size to me. So, perfect for your wallet or purse, or your SOS underwear, dudes.

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Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp

Looks like the Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp went with Slimer Stew as the sample dish in its demo video. What the ghosts-from-hell else smokes neon green on the stovetop?...

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The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

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G2 Turbo - Wearable Fan for Back(pack) Sweat

$19 - $23 from Kickstarter »

Part of me hopes the Presti G2 Turbo becomes the Little Crowdfunding Project That Could. Because I just saw The Goonies on cable for the 400th time, and this aerator of back sweat - what inventor Edwin Wang calls the...

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Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Link Air Purifier

$502.54 - $584 from Amazon »

Sure, the Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Link Air Purifier has the Dyson name going for it. The air de-polluter and fan also has both Warm Me and Blow Me settings, so you can use it all year 'round to help achieve an optimal level...

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5" Battery Operated Clip Fan

$34.99 from Amazon »

I saw this little battery operated clip fan for beach chairs, backpacks, treadmills, and strollers when I was looking at Seville's UltraSlimline Oscillating Tower Fan. That one got some good press in a Best Fan roundup...

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Wicks Stick-On Sweat Shields

$7.99 from Wicks »

Wicks adhesive strips give wearers the functional advantage of acting as a sweat shield, diverting the blur and sting of salty secretions away from our eyes during exercise. And stylistically? Well, I heard oompa loompas...

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Down There Repair

$15.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking...

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HEX On Demand+ Spray & Go Gear Cleaner

$9.99 from Amazon »

HEX knows the best part of working out is when you can't go right home and throw your sweaty stuff in the laundry or STINKBoss after, so you wad it up in a plastic bag and leave it to roast in your car for the next 8...

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Armpit Air Conditioners

$36 from Thanko »

They say Summer Is Coming. And not six, 10-episode seasons from now. Like, next week. The Plains, Midwest, and South can expect scorching temperatures, stifling humidity, and lots and lots of armpit sweat....

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ToppCock Silver Odor Neutralizer Gel

$9.99 from Amazon »

I didn't have enough room in the title to add "...for Man Parts." Do you think it would be too offensive to give a bottle of ToppCock Silver Odor Neutralizer Gel to this guy I know at work as an Anonymous Santa gift?...

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Poo-Pourri Master Crapsman Gift Set

$20 from Amazon »

Poo-Pourri, the spritz-before-you-shitz toilet spray, has put together several stench-fighting 2-packs ripe for the giving spirit of the holiday season. Since most of us around here are both dudes and fans of Punderdome...

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2-Person Canopy Barrel Sauna

$3,479 from Amazon »

Ahhh, a sauna that I don't have to share with half a dozen other sprawled out and sweaty dudes at the gym (dudes who, counterintuitively to the entire point of a sauna, insist on playing games and music on their phones...