401

Paper Log Maker

By: on April 23, 2013
$58.96
Check It Out

Look like less of a redneck burning your trash with this handy paper log maker. The deep metal box accepts newspapers, junk mail, cardboard, wood chips, and wrapping paper, but probably not Taco Bell bags because the grease on that shit could start a forest fire or burn down the neighborhood. Once contents have been added a pair of compression handles secured above the box smash them all down into densely compacted, fire-ready bricks that burn clean and emit minimal smoke. No more spending money on firewood that could be better spent on a Wampa rug, or time chopping down trees that could be better spent hunting down Charlize Theron and convincing her to pop a squat on the Wampa rug with you.

A story about Wampas: Over the weekend I saw a bass player who looked like a Wampa. He was standing center stage, barely moving, expressionless less a slightly devious smirk, and generally making my friend Constantine and me uncomfortable. We were all, "What's up with the Wampa on stage? That dude is weird." Well it turned out he was blind. I know. What an asshole (pointing to self).

Buy Now

The Bushcraft Fire Starter Necklace

$28 from Amazon »

Add a spark to your relationship by gifting your lady The Bushcraft, a fire starter necklace as outdoor chic as it is survival savvy. The handcrafted pendant is made in 2 parts, both serving aesthetic and functional purposes....

Buy Now

Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$79.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

Buy Now

Pack This! Notepad

$7 from Amazon »

Pack This! Forgetful Jones. Just don't forget where you put Knock Knock's handy traveler's prep list once you fill it in....

Check it out

Pyro Mini Fireball Shooter

$147 from Ellusionist »

Shooting fireballs from your empty hands just got a sleeker, slyer, more compact upgrade. Ellusionist, by way of magician Adam Wilber, introduced the original Pyro open-palm fireball shooter around this time last year....

Buy Now

Flaming Fire Wallet Magic Trick

$10.99 from Amazon »

Nevermind the girl, this wallet's on fi-re! / This wallet's on fi-re-erer-erer. / Looks like a bi-fold, but it's in flames / Ashed my cash, melted all my cards / Guess you'll have to pay....

Check it out

The Flying Martha Ornithopter

$42 from Haptic Lab »

The Flying Martha Ornithopter, while sounding both Wallenda and DaVinci in name, is no relation to either. Instead, the wind-up bird is named after a famous Martha. Martha the...no, Snoop Dogg, not you

Buy Now

Kindling Cracker Firewood Splitter

$99.99 from Amazon »

I'm choppin' some wood, splittin' some kindlin', buildin' a fire...naw. I'm really just sitting at my keyboard eating some turkey & gravy potato chips. Yeah, I couldn't believe they were real when I saw the bag either...

Buy Now

Paper Shooter Kits

$22.95 from Amazon »

The Paper Shooter snipers at Bang Creations know that when it comes to pastimes, nothing beats blasting things up to 75 feet. Particularly when the outcome of doing so averts death, injury, and getting yelled at by your...

Buy Now

Dragon's Breath Pyro Trick Powder

$16.99 from Amazon »

Been looking for the perfect Halloween costume...for your shotgun? I don't think Dragon's Breath Powder promotes itself as the ideal filling for 12-gauge ammo, but there's clearly no stopping resourceful minds with too...

Check it out

Tec Torch Thermal Breaching Tool

I know. If you're not military, law enforcement, or a first responder you can't have a TEC Torch handheld breaching saber tool, but, dude, you can still want it. TEC Torch uses thermal magic, specifically a concoction...

Buy Now

Solo Stove Bonfire

$349.99 from Amazon »

Solo Stove's latest release, the Bonfire backyard firepit, is one of the hottest campaigns on Kickstarter right now. At printing it was flaming with over $200,000 in backer pledges, smoking its $15,000 funding goal and...

Check it out

Laser Gloves

Dudes, watch the whole video. Or at least fast forward to the final 20 seconds to behold the reasons why your life will not reach its full potential until it can count Laser Gloves as part of it. The match-igniting, balloon-popping...