A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear, Novelties and Zombies    * Updated daily
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Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Tower Garden Growing System
$599 from Tower Garden »

Soil. Lengthy growth periods. The X-axis. Tower Garden rejects you en masse. An aeroponic growing system ideal for rooftops, patios, balconies, and terraces, this food and flower producer replaces pots of temperamental soil with a 20-gallon more...

Thursday, May 02, 2013
Military Grade Compass
$75.17 from Amazon »

What makes a compass military grade? WELL, WRITING THE AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION IN ALL CAPS SEEMS TO BE ONE ATTRIBUTE. Geez, I know America has the biggest and boldest and best of everything, but I don't think the self-proclaimed more...

Tuesday, November 06, 2012
GPS & HUD Snow Goggles
$599.95 from Oakley »

As much as I miss these simpler days on the ski slopes, I think I'd rather move forward with Oakley's Airwave HUD & GPS goggles than don my pink & purple snowsuit and man perm to travel back in time. Though you'll pay dearly for them, Airwave technology takes downhill runs to the epic levels of "the future" we always spoke of in the 80s. The goggles, designed with traditional Oakley style and performance, more...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
Be a Hero Rescue Tool
$24.11 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little more more...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Super Splitting Axe
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to give me more...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
Treeincarnation: From Ashes to Spiritree
$225 from The Spiritree »

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is a very special kind of urn. Yes, even more special than the limited edition Yoda urn Walter resides in at the moment. See, the Spiritree is a biodegradable cinerary urn whose more...

Monday, February 25, 2013
Flyboard
By: FlyBoard

Similar to the Jetovater, but with a lower profile, the Flyboard is a kind of powered wakeboard that allows propulsion under water and in the air, rendering its user akin to a dolphin, human cannonball, or Grand Prize winner of a Darwin more...

Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle

Maybe the coolest thing about the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle is that it's smaller than it looks. Like, I could sit on it and make it drive me around, profiting from its design as an all-electric workhorse with the precision of more...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
SOL Survival Kit
Sold Out from Amazon »

Carry the SOL Origin Survival Kit, and the next time you're up shit creek it will supply all the tools you need to build a paddle. Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the survival kit is housed in an indestructible and waterproof more...

Thursday, March 15, 2012
Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider
$700 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the other to more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, March 22, 2012
Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet
$90,000 from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to 50 and 25 mph. more...

Wednesday, November 07, 2012
NeverWet - Liquid-Repelling Coating
By: NeverWet

1. Check out the video above of a dude dumping Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on a white Keds tennis shoe treated with NeverWet. 2. Be amazed by NeverWet's water-, oil-, and apparent chocolate-syrup-repelling technology. 3. Read more about more...

Friday, March 08, 2013
AutoHome Roof Top Tents
$2,499 - $4,999 from AutoHome »

I was just thinking how awesome it would be if for once I could wake up on the roof of my car on purpose. Good lookin' out, AutoHome tents. The roof top--or truck bed--pop ups store flat overhead while driving, and then (allegedly) more...

Sunday, April 07, 2013
Portable Hoseless Misting Fan
$399.95 from Amazon »

I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling me she hates more...

Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Ego Personal Semi-Submarine
By: Raonhaje

What up, Jaws? You ready for a little face time with me and my impenetrable acrylic underwater sightseeing window? Korean company Raonhaje's EGO, a compact semi-submarine/motorboat hybrid, has flipped its room with a view upside down, more...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
Dragon Downspout Statue
$34.95 from Amazon »

While I would prefer to have a dragon that breathes fire and prepares to reclaim Westeros for the rightful Queen, Daenerys Targaryen, I guess one that diverts water is an OK second. This gothic, gargoyle-inspired dragon downspout statue more...

Saturday, July 28, 2012
The World's Most Powerful Flashlight
$179.95 from WickedLasers.com »

It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the white mass of strep more...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
Space Tent
$601.60 from Field Candy »

Whoa, a trippy space tent. I'm not sure I need to be any more tripped out while camping, what with the potent ganja and even more potent Blair Witch memories and all, but I'm happy to look at pictures of Field Candy's latest, stellar more...

Saturday, December 15, 2012
Brick Oven Grill Converter
$99 - $249 from Kickstarter »

I must spend about $5,000 per year on pizza. Usually between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. How cost effective (and fun for my neighbors) it would be if instead of Internet ordering from Dominoes and watching Ollie add toppings and more...

Monday, April 16, 2012
The Tentanic 1,000-Person Tent
$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic, this cushy camper more...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Snorkel Hookah
$2,250 from PowerDive »

Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience. It's more...

Saturday, February 25, 2012
Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit
$1,679 from Fire Pit Art »

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary really is more...

Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Multi-Tool Axe
$27.15 - $31.57 from Amazon »

They're terming Brook & Hunter's axe of a thousand ways to destroy and maim a "garden tool". Yeah, for all the "weeding" I have to do when gangs of Girl Scouts jump me in the grocery store parking lot because I dissed Do-si-dos. 1) more...

Friday, October 19, 2012
Quadski - Amphibious ATV

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs' jet ski-ATV more...

Thursday, September 13, 2012
Life-Size Blue Whale Kite
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long, just like more...

Friday, February 22, 2013
Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter
$275.72 from Amazon »

The worst water I've ever had comes out of the taps in southwestern Florida--it tastes like someone spiked it with eggplant and a mild thickening agent--and I hope to keep it that way. If I encounter anything less potable than that, more...

Monday, September 05, 2011
VW Camper Tent
$486 from Firebox.com »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian hats or dreads. more...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Combat Garden Gnome
$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or full squadrons--for more...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Hot Tub Boat
$42,000 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these unfortunate more...

Sunday, July 08, 2012
Grilled Pizza Cone Set
$19.83 from Amazon »

It's possible that the Grilled Pizza Cone Set is just another culinary gimmick and general letdown in the spirit of the Slap Chop and Eggstractor, but holy balls nestled cool and dry in a pair of silk boxers do those pepperoni and veggie more...