/The-TRON-Light-Cycle-408.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The TRON Light Cycle/the-world-according-to-8213.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The World According To Americans/Sexy-TRON-Outfit-504.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Sexy TRON Outfit/see-through-bottom-canoe-3101.jpg){kind=small}
See Through Bottom Canoe/Programmable-Tattoo-System-858.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Programmable Tattoo System/double-barrel-pistol-8191.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Double Barrel Pistol/working-pipboy-3000-5800.jpg){kind=small}
Working Pip-Boy 3000/mainland-usa-according-to-8192.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Mainland USA, According to Common Sense/Wolverine-Style-Hand-Claw-Dagger8097-231.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger/zombie-apocalypse-bedding-2324.jpg){kind=small}
Zombie Apocalypse Bedding/20000-hypoallergenic-8188.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat/zombie-apocalypse-survival-kit-2822.jpg){kind=small}
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit/arkham-harley-quinn-costume-2259.jpg){kind=small}
Arkham Harley Quinn Costume/zombie-head-bowling-balls-8187.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Zombie Head Bowling Balls/anatomical-leggings-2555.jpg){kind=small}
Anatomical Leggings/fundies-underwear-built-for-two-2254.jpg){kind=small}
Fundies: Underwear Built for Two/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The World's Most Powerful Laser/flayed-flesh-garters-2925.jpg){kind=small}
Flayed Flesh Garters/Zombie-Gnomes-Bye-Bye-Birdie-571.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/balcony-barbecue-7675.jpg "Balcony Barbecue")
I love BBQ and I hate bending over, so I guess I'd classify the Balcony Barbecue as a dream come true. Apartment dwellers and people with limited space can take advantage of the simple mountable grill that hangs at a perfect...
/kelty-airpitch-inflatable-7789.jpg "Kelty AirPitch - Inflatable Tent")
At this point we all know that if I have the opportunity to circumvent or finagle my way out of manual labor, everyone better settle in for a sweeping display of circumventing and finagling. So the news that setup of Kelty's...
/seaduction-floating-cabanas-7840.jpg "SeaDuction Floating Cabanas")
No one complain that SeaDuction's amphibious cabanas are available only at tropical resorts, and not for public purchase, because I know that even if they were up for general grabs, all I would hear is more complaints: "Cool...but not $15,000 cool," and "$15,000 for a raft and some coolers?!" and "I'll stick with my $4.99 floaties from Target, thank you very much." And anyway, I'm sure if you contacted...
/super-splitting-axe-6825.jpg "Super Splitting Axe")
It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...
/be-a-hero-rescue-tool-6753.jpg "Be a Hero Rescue Tool")
Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...
/sol-survival-kit-4262.jpg "SOL Survival Kit")
Carry the SOL Origin Survival Kit, and the next time you're up shit creek it will supply all the tools you need to build a paddle. Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the survival kit is housed in an indestructible and waterproof ABS-plastic case, which itself doubles as a slew of Indiana-Jones-approved defense mechanisms. Integrated into the lid is a flip-up Rescue Flash signal mirror...
/treeincarnation-from-ashes-to-6343.jpg "Treeincarnation: From Ashes to Spiritree")
Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is...
/earl-backcountry-survival-7782.jpg "Earl Backcountry Survival Tablet")
Built for the extreme outdoors, the Earl survival tablet combines Android 4.1 technology with a low-energy E-Ink screen to enable complete (and useful--no Angry Birds here) functionality where other smartphones and tablets...
/subwing-underwater-hang-3068.jpg "Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider")
You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the...
/the-five-cooking-method-grill-7920.jpg "The Five Cooking Method Grill")
Though maybe not quite as cool as the Blacktop 360 Party Hub Grill, The Five Cooking Method Grill still ranks pretty high on my I Would Like One of Those Excel spreadsheet. Plus, unlike the Blacktop, the Method's distinct...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/cookup-200-solar-bbq-7806.jpg "COOKUP 200 Solar BBQ")
Those days when it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk or the sun's bright enough to light ants on fire with a magnifying glass? The COOKUP 200 solar BBQ turns nearly every day into an over-easy-on-the-concrete-cruel-bug-exterminating...
/seabreacher-shark-x-submarine-3145.jpg "Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet")
Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to 50 and...
/flyboard-6888.jpg "Flyboard")
Similar to the Jetovater, but with a lower profile, the Flyboard is a kind of powered wakeboard that allows propulsion under water and in the air, rendering its user akin to a dolphin, human cannonball, or Grand Prize winner...
/alligator-in-a-manhole-doormat-7774.jpg "Alligator in a Manhole Doormat")
Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision to...
/neverwet-waterrepelling-5576.jpg "NeverWet - Liquid-Repelling Coating")
1. Check out the video above of a dude dumping Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on a white Keds tennis shoe treated with NeverWet. 2. Be amazed by NeverWet's water-, oil-, and apparent chocolate-syrup-repelling technology. 3. Read...
/ego-personal-semisubmarine-4481.jpg "Ego Personal Semi-Submarine")
What up, Jaws? You ready for a little face time with me and my impenetrable acrylic underwater sightseeing window? Korean company Raonhaje's EGO, a compact semi-submarine/motorboat hybrid, has flipped its room with a view...
/reflective-rope-7916.jpg "Reflective Rope")
Which is better: Stargate or Major League? You think about that for the next hundred or so words while I discuss Nite Ize's reflective rope. Outdoorsy types and people who give two thumbs up to bondage will find the reflective...
/grizzly-robotic-utility-7344.jpg "Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle")
Maybe the coolest thing about the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle is that it's smaller than it looks. Like, I could sit on it and make it drive me around, profiting from its design as an all-electric workhorse with the precision...
/wicked-lasers-torch-flashlight-4432.jpg "The World's Most Powerful Flashlight")
It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the white...
/autohome-roof-top-tents-7046.jpg "AutoHome Roof Top Tents")
I was just thinking how awesome it would be if for once I could wake up on the roof of my car on purpose. Good lookin' out, AutoHome tents. The roof top--or truck bed--pop ups store flat overhead while driving, and then (allegedly)...
/military-grade-compass-7710.jpg "Military Grade Compass")
What makes a compass military grade? WELL, WRITING THE AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION IN ALL CAPS SEEMS TO BE ONE ATTRIBUTE. Geez, I know America has the biggest and boldest and best of everything, but I don't think the self-proclaimed...
/brick-oven-grill-converter-6000.jpg "Brick Oven Grill Converter")
I must spend about $5,000 per year on pizza. Usually between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. How cost effective (and fun for my neighbors) it would be if instead of Internet ordering from Dominoes and watching Ollie add toppings...
/the-tentanic-1000person-tent-3428.jpg "The Tentanic 1,000-Person Tent")
Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic, this...
/snorkel-hookah-4465.jpg "Snorkel Hookah")
Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience....
/tower-garden-growing-system-7761.jpg "Tower Garden Growing System")
Soil. Lengthy growth periods. The X-axis. Tower Garden rejects you en masse. An aeroponic growing system ideal for rooftops, patios, balconies, and terraces, this food and flower producer replaces pots of temperamental soil...
/planet-earth-globe-fire-pit-2841.jpg "Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit")
Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...
/portable-hoseless-misting-fan-7405.jpg "Portable Hoseless Misting Fan")
I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling me...
/quadski-amphibious-atv-5378.jpg "Quadski - Amphibious ATV")
A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...
/lifesize-blue-whale-kite-4965.jpg "Life-Size Blue Whale Kite")
I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long...
/Combat-Garden-Gnome-1414.jpg?mode=crop "Combat Garden Gnome")
People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...
/space-tent-7242.jpg "Space Tent")
Whoa, a trippy space tent. I'm not sure I need to be any more tripped out while camping, what with the potent ganja and even more potent Blair Witch memories and all, but I'm happy to look at pictures of Field Candy's latest...
/VW-Camper-Tent-667.jpg?mode=crop "VW Camper Tent")
Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian hats...
/dridown-sleeping-bag-7638.jpg "DriDown Sleeping Bag")
I believe the DriDown sleeping bag weighs only 1lb 12oz because when I picked one up and hit my friend Cornelius over the head with it he hardly even flinched. It took him, like, 8 seconds before he realized what happened...
/dragon-downspout-statue-7550.jpg "Dragon Downspout Statue")
While I would prefer to have a dragon that breathes fire and prepares to reclaim Westeros for the rightful Queen, Daenerys Targaryen, I guess one that diverts water is an OK second. This gothic, gargoyle-inspired dragon downspout...
/multi-tool-axe-7008.jpg "Multi-Tool Axe")
They're terming Brook & Hunter's axe of a thousand ways to destroy and maim a "garden tool". Yeah, for all the "weeding" I have to do when gangs of Girl Scouts jump me in the grocery store parking lot because I dissed Do-si-dos....
/grilled-pizza-cone-set-4186.jpg "Grilled Pizza Cone Set")
It's possible that the Grilled Pizza Cone Set is just another culinary gimmick and general letdown in the spirit of the Slap Chop and Eggstractor, but holy balls nestled cool and dry in a pair of silk boxers do those pepperoni...
/pocket-water-microfilter-6853.jpg?mode=crop "Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter")
The worst water I've ever had comes out of the taps in southwestern Florida--it tastes like someone spiked it with eggplant and a mild thickening agent--and I hope to keep it that way. If I encounter anything less potable...
/the-hot-tub-boat-6460.jpg "The Hot Tub Boat")
While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
