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Machete Spatula

By: on May 26, 2015
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Since I usually hack up eggs, salmon, chicken, and steaks when I try to flip or test their doneness anyway, a Machete Spatula would probably be an appropriate addition to my cooking arsenal. Plus, if any utensil could be described as magnificent, this grill flipper takes the title. With a trio of built-in bottle openers, a BBQ standard oak handle, and a sturdy stainless steel blade, the spatula's utility isn't even overshadowed by its machete-shaped novelty.

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Vertical Waffle Maker

$59.95 from Amazon »

A waffle maker with the profile of a toaster, and that's not even the best part of Cuisinart's vertical Belgian beauty. The best part is that you pour the batter in through a spout on top of the machine, up to a clearly...

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The World is Your Burger

$27.16 from Amazon »

The World Is Your Burger. I know it. The book's author, David Michaels, knows it. And even if you don't eat red meat, shun gluten, or are a full-on vegetarian, the number of iterations of this most iconic food in America...

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Gerber Downrange Tomahawk

$240.66 from Amazon »

"Ancient instrument of war." It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? So does "tomahawk" and "smashes through walls like Thor on a coke binge." Gerber's Downrange Tomahawk modernizes the traditional chopping and whacking...

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Tempest Craft Blades & Sculptures

Need a sick rippled machete that embodies the Aztec goddess of obsidian and Lord of the Night? An Indo-Persian war axe? How about just a good ol' pair of ceremonial scissors? Bladesmith Tom Ward forges some of the most...

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The Burger Lift

$10.86 from Amazon »

Even though the Burger Lift is kind of a head-scratcher--wait, why do I need a plastic rack in the shape of a burger to raise my real burger half an inch off the plate?--it still might be one of the most logical things...

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Cold Steel 7" GI Tanto Knife

$29.99 from Amazon »

I say, why have a small child when you can have a knife the size of a small child instead? Seems like at least 988 people agree with me, which is how many Amazon reviews Cold Steel's GI Tanto has so far. Average rating:...

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DPx Heft 12 Chop Knife

$380 from DPx Gear »

I'd say "Heft" is an appropriate choice of names for DPx Gear's forthcoming hard use knife. The Blade Baby Name Book served them well this time. At 18.62" long, with a 12.52" Slepiner stainless steel, 60 HRC business...

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PancakeBot Pancake Printer

$218.49 from Amazon »

Turn a Picasso...or your own boobie scribbles...into edible, delectable art with the PancakeBot, the world's first pancake printer, and the world's latest entirely unnecessary invention! Mama! I'm tired of circles and...

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The Sharkalope

$319.95 from Zombie Tools »

The dudes at Zombie Tools call their new Sharkalope knife "an unholy confusion of genetics." I love the dudes at Zombie Tools. I hate them too. Because not only are they way better at their job of forging apocalyptic...

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Big Burger Press with Built-in Dimpler

$21.99 from Amazon »

Cave Tools believes their burger press to be a champion of Larger, Thicker & Juicier. The silicone mold has 6 slots for creating respectable 1/3-pound patties, plus a built-in burger dimpler to dig a divot in each that...

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Magisso Perfect Slice Cake Server

$14.99 - $41.23 from Amazon »

Magisso says its curvy Cake Server will "Banish dessert-course anxiety!" Better than Xanax, I wonder? Because it would be really great if I didn't have to give my girlfriend one of mine every time she has to cut up a...

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DIY Jet Black Hellfire Burgers

$9.54 from Amazon »

I wouldn't be surprised if the secret ingredient to concocting a jet black burger that looks like it's been roasted on the flames of hell was one that inflicted a weeklong case of Montezuma's Revenge. But, somewhat ironically...