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Clove Urban Balance Chair

By: on April 15, 2016
$950
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April 15. Yes, it's tax day. But it's also a nice day to reflect on the best news ever: warm weather's a-comin'! And this year, I'm using my 2015 refund to deck out my deck for summer. New grill, new umbrella, a coupla Clove urban balance chairs. Or at least that's what I would use it for if my 2015 refund was enough to buy any of those things. As it stands, I think I can get, like, half a chair.

The Clove engulfs its weary / lazy / drunk passengers in a curvy woven nest of synthetic wicker and rattan, and then rocks them gently to and fro' from a sturdy metal stand and heavy duty spring attachment. The cozy cushion is bright, warm orange like the sun to bring the weary comfort, the lazy energy, and the drunk a color that probably hides vomit stains pretty well. I mean, compared to white or yellow, anyway.

The Clove chairs swingin' seat dimensions are 34" wide x 29" deep x 52" tall; stand size is 39" x 39" x 77". Maximum load-bearing capacity is 250 pounds.

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Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

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aRks 3D Printed Bikinis

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$79.99 - $89.99 from Amazon »

I like that this outdoor hammock lounger's design suggests I probably won't flip sideways or spill out onto my belly trying to get in and out of it. But I do have some concerns about ending up ass over teakettle. The...

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BumpShox Front Car Bumper Guard

$34.95 from Amazon »

I wonder if the BumpShox bumper guard protects the cars you bump from damage. If so, I'm definitely getting one for mysel...my future wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power. She, uh, failed parallel parking in her driver's exam...

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Folding Beach Chair & Roller Cart

$79.99 from Amazon »

This folding beach chair and roller cart has it all: room for your gear and room for your rear. Fishermen, beachgoers, and festival regulars can haul their blankets, coolers, and other outing necessities (i.e., fiber...

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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Noria Window Air Conditioner

$299 from Noria »

Granted, when it's hotter than a dragon's undercarriage out and I'm tasked with sleeping through the night, I don't really care if the air-circulating device that makes that possible looks like Jabba the Hutt's butt crack....

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The Waterfall Swing

A couple pushes on the Waterfall Swing and you'll be...swiiiing-in' in the rain, just swing-in' in the rain. What a glorious feeling.... This impressive piece of interactive art consists of a steel framed swing set housing...

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Modpools - Shipping Container Swimming Pools

$26,900 from Modpools »

Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and...

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Emperor 1510 Workstation

$5,950 from MWE Lab »

The pinnacle of functionality and comfort and it looks like a scorpion? At nearly $6,000, the Emperor 1510 workstation may require a CEO-sized wallet for purchase, but given that owning one may actually make me want...