Garden

Tertill Garden Weeding Robot

$349 from Tertill »

Hey dude, got any weeeeeds? Yeah? Well, the Tertill is a garden weeding robot that doesn't just whack them for you, but travels continuously throughout your garden, churning up the top layer of soil, and preventing them...

UKIAH Tailgater Fire Pit Sound System

$359 - $619 from Amazon »

Pumpin' heat and beats. The UKIAH Tailgater series Music Fire Pits lights up your sound system and brings the tunes to your dancing flames with a self-contained, portable propane fire that ignites atop a rugged, battery-powered...

Oatey Mystic Rainwater Collection System

$18.26 from Amazon »

The Oatey Mystic Rainwater Collection System seems like a pretty great idea...except for the part where I have to saw out a 6" section of my mama's existing downspout to make room for it. Oh the tongue lashing I'll get...

Peter Pepper Seeds

$4 from Amazon »

The tongue twister is wrong! It's actually, Peter Piper picked a peck of peter pepper. Or maybe, Peter Piper picked a pecker of pickled peppers. Either way, then he was all like, Oh ladies! Who wants to try out my tongue...

Barebones Artisan Pruning Shears

$26 from Amazon »

Hmmm, these Barebones Pruning Shears look a little less artisan and a little more tormenter to me. Maybe the black stainless steel blades and their oversized, ambidextrous handles are made for artisanal torturing. The...

Original Ultimate Hose Nozzle

$24.93 from Amazon »

If you always wanted to be a firefighter but never became a firefighter, how about being a car washer or flower waterer with a fire hose nozzle instead? The Original Ultimate Hose Nozzle from Bon-Aire has the same virtually...

Tardigrade Steel Hose

$12.99 - $33.99 from Amazon »

If anyone knows about extinction events it's tardigrades and my mama's garden hoses. Tardigrades, also known as water bears and moss piglets, are tiny - wee-wee-wee-wee-tiny all the way home - water animals that have...

Inflatable Rocketship Sprinkler

Sold Out from Amazon »

FUNBOY's Inflatable Rocketship Sprinkler has landed, and it's packed with stories of stars, space, and, more importantly, 4 "jets" that spray 360 degrees of hose water. The 8' tall rocket is an official piece of summertime...

Plow & Hearth Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway

$67.95 from Amazon »

Dude. What I would give for my mama to have seen Plow & Hearth's Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway last spring before she saw these godforsaken DIY (read: guilt-your-son-into-doing-for-you) walkway path molds. That is, like...

Trackside Sound Reactive Fire Pit

This new track is on fire! It's not from Beyonce or Travis Scott either. Or Bruce Springsteen. Dad. It isn't even the song kind of track - though it can definitely rock out with the best of them. Dad. This track comes...

Rhino BaseMate Patio Umbrella Base Weight Planter

$24.90 - $27.90 from Amazon »

I just hauled 250 pounds of sand from Home Depot to my mama's house so she - oh, I mean I - could put it in her new patio umbrella, and now she sees the Rhino BaseMate patio umbrella base weight planter and is all, Ooh!...

Giant Custom Cedar Letter Planter

$400 from Etsy »

Should you send your lady flowers or a heartfelt letter? How about a heartfelt letter filled with flowers? The Hamilton Design Co. custom builds these giant cedar wood planters in the shape of your preferred letter of...

Starry Night Sun Shade Sail

$41.96 - $42.96 from Amazon »

Inject some Sandy-Danny levels of romance into those su-u-mer...niii-hiiightsss! with this sail-style sun shade, a triangle canopy studded with a sky full of LED stars. Its fairy lights come in warm yellow and colored...

9' Solar Powered LED Lighted Patio Umbrella

$119.99 from Amazon »

Shade and charging when the sun's out, the illumination of 8 LED tubes and a center pendant light when it's not. This 9' patio umbrella has a solar powered battery that sucks up the sun's rays throughout the day, and...

Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder

$24.95 from Amazon »

As cute 'n' clever as this Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder is, I'm confused. Aren't most people trying to keep squirrels out of their yards? And, more specifically, the F away from their wildlife feeders? I know my mama...

Flying Saucer LED Kite

$88.99 from Amazon »

Know what we need? A UFO prank, courtesy of this Flying Saucer LED Kite, to get everyone's minds off the coronavirus pandemic. All these people stuck inside, anxious and panicking about their jobs, their futures, their...

4' Tall St. Patrick's Day T-Rex

$100.99 from Amazon »

This St. Patrick's Day T-Rex is only 4' tall because he's a T-Rexprachaun! A Lepra-Rex! A Wee-Rex!...

Seedles - Regional US Wildflower Seed Balls

$17.50 - $29 from Amazon »

Seedle on into spring with Seedles, seed balls packed with the makings of a byoo-tee-ful garden of wildflowers native to the area where you live. Seedles come in batches ready to sprout the bounties of the United States'...

Loll Bee Hive

$1,595 from Loll Designs »

Single-handedly save the honeybees from your backyard with the modern Loll Bee Hive! Or, you know, just do your own small part for the local ecosystem, plus learn how many bee stings it takes to make a grown man cry...

Garden Genie Gloves with Claws

$8.99 from Amazon »

Performing gardening chores and yard work for my mama this spring is gonna be way more fun with a pair of these Garden Genie Gloves...with Claws! Diggin' through the dirt like a lion or a dragon or, well, since it's...

2'-Wide Dragon's Eye Candle Holder

$129.95 from Wind & Weather »

This dragon doesn't breathe fire. He blinks it. With a romantic flicker. And in a big way. The Dragon's Eye Candle Holder is a ceramic sculpture that measures almost 2' across. You can place a candle up to the task of...

Quaruba Outdoor Wood Stove

Quaruba, Jamaica / oooh I wanna make ya / a stylish and modern / wood stove for the garden... In the Quaruba outdoor wood-burning stove Dutch designers rb73 have created a cubical, modular piece to heat up your nights...

Recompose Human Body Composting Service

$5,500 from Recompose »

The plants will grow and the rivers will flow over my dead body. Literally. For real. No joke. On May 21, 2019, Washington State legalized "the contained, accelerated conversion of human remains to soil." Recompose, a...

Foldable Telescoping Rake

$31.45 from Amazon »

What blooms in the fall? This foldable telescoping rake from Professional EZ Travel Collection is here to make a tedious, back-breaking job fast, easy, and super fun...