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Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit

By: on February 25, 2012

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary really is perfect for a little apocalypse theme party before the Mayan calendar, the zombies, or the hand of the Lord gets to us all.

The dome of doom was hand cut and crafted from 1/4" carbon steel by artist Rick Wittrig, who has personally numbered and signed each piece. Finished with an iron oxide patina, the pit's coloring will darken over time, but its structural design has equipped it to withstand years and years of heavy use. Too bad we'll only need it to last another couple of months.... Earth's interior core is coated with a flame-resistant paint, and the bottom of the basin has a 1 1/2" rain drain. Measurements are approximately 42" high, and 36" in diameter, though there are some slight variations since each fire pit is forged by the imperfect, wretched, fated being that is 21st Century Man.

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$61.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Cowboy Cauldron BBQ & Fire Pits

$1,695 - $2,995 from Cowboy Cauldron Co. »

A Cowboy Cauldron brings together folks from all walks of life. Wranglers can cook out with witches. Dudes from the ranch can grill with dads from McMansions. Fantasy fans can warm their hands across the fire pit from...

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Solar System in a Bottle

While Little Planet Factory, like science, has also shunned Pluto as a planet in its Solar System in a Bottle, I think they make up for it by having crafted and calibrated the 8 remaining MVEMJSUN to scale. At 1:5,000,000,000....

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Kindling Cracker Firewood Splitter

$96.99 from Amazon »

I'm choppin' some wood, splittin' some kindlin', buildin' a fire...naw. I'm really just sitting at my keyboard eating some turkey & gravy potato chips. Yeah, I couldn't believe they were real when I saw the bag either...

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Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

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Solo Stove Bonfire

$249 from Solo Stove »

Solo Stove's latest release, the Bonfire backyard firepit, is one of the hottest campaigns on Kickstarter right now. At printing it was flaming with over $200,000 in backer pledges, smoking its $15,000 funding goal and...

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Granberg Chainsaw Mill

$159 from Amazon »

If someone twisted my arm put me into a Half Nelson and demanded I select some form of manual labor as my Sunday Funday activity, Granberg's Chainsaw Mill would be my first choice....

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Eye of Sauron Fire Pit

$643.38 from Etsy »

I bet this fire pit knows some good ghost stories. What I didn't bet was that Sauron moved his Dark Tower to Canada, where he and his Evil Eye now mostly roast marshmallows and try to taunt Canadians into saying something...

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Aniva Cosa Transforming Chiminea & Grill

Aniva's Cosa lifts, flips, and slides between cooking your raw meat (BBQ), serving your succulent meat (side table), and heating your body meat (fire pit, or chiminea) while you eat it. The transforming grill impressed...

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The Blaze Fire Tower

$499 from Blaze »

Blaze looks to combine the best parts of a fire pit with the best parts of a grill in their Blaze Fire Tower. And me, I'm lookin' to come out the other side of Christmas in a Blaze of glory....

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Paper Log Maker

$58.96 from Amazon »

Look like less of a redneck burning your trash with this handy paper log maker. The deep metal box accepts newspapers, junk mail, cardboard, wood chips, and wrapping paper, but probably not Taco Bell bags because the...

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Hardcore Survivalist Hatchet

$121.44 from Amazon »

What's in a name? If you're the Hardcore Survivalist Hatchet, at least enough to get me to click on you when I see you in my Amazon search results. I hope a 19-ounce head and 18" American Hickory curved handle will make...