Prima Cinema - Theater Releases at Home

By: on November 27, 2012
Check It Out

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did fork over the dead presidents to see it at the Cinerama. But for those of you who have ungodly wads of cash bursting from your bank accounts--or know someone who does and of whose generosity you could take advantage--have a look-see at Prima Cinema, a cinematically elite service that beams Hollywood's finest to your home on the day they're released.

Oh, but keep in mind that the Prima hardware--essentially a player that fits into a standard 19" rack cabinet--also costs $20,000 out of the gates.

Prima Cinema essentially means no more rolling out the sleeping bag for an overnighter and guaranteed spot at the midnight release of whatever comic book or teen fantasy novel is hitting the big screen next. With Prima, you have a ticket, and an annual income, that will ensure you're always first in line and seated prime in your own private theater. The Prima Player functions with existing A/V equipment, outputting both audio and video over HDMI. It connects to control systems via RJ-45, the Internet with standard ethernet cables, and is designed to work with existing video displays (projectors, flat screens), audio systems (receivers, processors, speakers) and control systems (touch panels, remotes).

The Prima Player itself, slick little gray plastic composite fox that it is, was fashioned by BMW DesignWorksUSA, and juiced up by Prima engineers to project digital video quality with greater picture clarity and deeper colors supposedly even than highest end Blu-ray players. The visual experience is complemented by lossless Audio to ensure the surround sound retains the same fidelity as the digital studio master. I don't really know what that last sentence means. I pretty much copied it verbatim from the Prima Website. Sounds like a good selling point though, huh?

Lucky SOBs who acquire the Prima system will have access to all opening weekend box office releases, whose availability will continue for as long as they remain on major theaters' docket. That is, a constant stream of films will flow through the player, with accessibility ceasing once the movie is no longer a shiny new release. This is so that video stores such as Blockbuster and Hollywood Video won't go out of business. Oh wait....

Check it out

iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

Buy Now

Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

Check it out

Life-Size Alien Head

$1,799.99 from Sideshow Collectibles »

When the staff at the H.R. Giger Museum in Switzerland saw this life-size replica head of the monstrous Alien their namesake created you could literally see the pride and joy bursting from their chests. (Good luck to...

Check it out

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Buy Now

Avegant Glyph Video Headset

$499 from Amazon »

Boldly go where only Geordi La Forge has gone before. Avegant's Glyph is a Kickstarted mobile personal theater that wears like a combo of over-ear headphones and a Star Trek VISOR. Use it to watch movies, play games...

Buy Now

Movies R Fun: Iconic Scenes as Children's Art

$7.38 from Amazon »

Josh Cooley's book Movies R Fun: A Collection of Cinematic Classics for the Pre-(Film) School Cinephile takes iconic and cult (mostly) R-rated movie scenes as inspiration for artwork styled after children's storybooks....

Check it out

Inception Coffee Table

$5,425 from Mousarris »

Designer and model maker Stelios Mousarris calls this coffee table his Wave City, but you know this stellar assemblage of a city folding on top of itself comes straight from the trippy scenes of the movie Inception. Mousarris...

Buy Now

UO Smart Beam Laser Projector

$459.97 from Amazon »

Celluon takes a slightly more humble route, bragging only about its PicoPro's ability to fit in your pocket, but SK Telecom goes straight for the pinnacle of accomplishment, calling its UO Smart Beam Laser Projector The...

Check it out

GraphicAudio - Movies in Your Mind

$13.99 - $19.99 from GraphicAudio »

GraphicAudio is like the Phantom of the Opera. There. Inside your mind. But with all the organ music and whiny love songs replaced with a real cinematic soundscape of effects and musical score that will transport you...

Buy Now

Cinema on Your Finger Pico Projector

$248 from Amazon »

Now that we're all adequately equipped to take selfies everywhere we go, the iCODIS mobile projector would like to facilitate our ability to play them back at any moment as a slideshow. For friends at a house party. For...

Buy Now

PicoPro Pocket Projector

Sold Out from Amazon »

They say it's a pocket-sized movie theater, but I bet Celluon's PicoPro projector will mostly be relegated to boring applications like office presentations and impromptu TED talks at Palo Alto Starbucks stores. If I got...

Buy Now

Pulp Fiction Explicit Talking Action Figures

$39.93 - $49.99 from Amazon »

I bet I know what's been missing from your Christmas mornings: profanity. Lots and lots of profanity. And also Quentin Tarantino (which might explain the lack of profanity). Well guess what, dudes, thanks to toymaker...