123

WTF Prank Candles

By: on April 04, 2015
  • WTF Prank Candles
  • WTF Prank Candles

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is that smell?! Is that...is that...dirty farts?!" Yessir, it is. I mean, unless it's sweaty gym socks or stank breath, one of WTF Candles' other n-ass-ty scents that suddenly ass-aults your nasal p-ass-ageways.

Like many women (my She-Ra: Princess of Power excluded), WTF Candles start out sweet, and then 25% into your relationship with them, turn unbearably suffocating and rank for the remaining 75% of their burn time. Commonly called layered or switch scent candles, some companies produce these lovely and sensual gift items as a way to give yourself, a friend, or a loved one multiple delightful aromas in one. But not WTF Candles. WTF Candles stirs shit up a little, craft their candles especially for use in pranks or, even better, revenge.

Select one of 5 sweet-to-stank candles and you'll be able to have it shipped to yourself for appropriate distribution, or...or!...send it anonymously to your arch nemesis. Such as, for example, She-Ra: Princess of Power's evil ex-boyfriend. He comes from France. WTF Candles promises they won't ever reveal the source of the special delivery, though as an option, 60 days after your purchase they will send your victim a postcard that reads, "WTF was in that candle?"

They selected 60 days as the posting date because each candle should burn for about 30 hours, and 25% of the burn time emits the good-smelling stuff. Still, since when candles burn the middle sinks first (with the sides still layered with a good:stank ratio), in 3 to 4 hours the WTF should make an appearance, and by 8 to 10 hours, it's reigning supreme.

WTF Candle flavors include: Baby Powder to Dirty Baby Diaper; Apple Pie to Dirty Fart; Clean Laundry to Sweaty Gym Socks; Coffee to Stank Breath; and Fresh Forest Pine to Skunk Ass.

Check it out

Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

Buy Now

The Killer Key

$12 from Amazon »

The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...

Buy Now

Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)

$14.99 from Amazon »

D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...

Buy Now

PC Prankster

$11.99 from Amazon »

I live for shenanigans of the PC Prankster variety. No, not because I'm devious and mean-spirited, because I have great empathy for others. I know as well as anyone how it feels to reach a level of frustration with a...

Check it out

The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory

$39.99 from Tac Sac »

Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...

Buy Now

The Eviltron

Sold Out from Amazon »

Combining the ethos that nothing is scarier than one's own imagination with the ethos that creeping someone out to the cusp of a complete mental breakdown is great fun, we have...The Eviltron. That strange scratching...

Check it out

The JerkShirt (NSFW)

Now don't take NSFW the wrong way. The JerkShirt was indeed created primarily for the office (and secondarily for the dinner table). But I would caution against watching the video, illuminating as it may be, within eye-...

Buy Now

Willy Care Kit

$17.29 from Amazon »

If your name isn't William, and you don't need a gift for a dude named William, I can't imagine why you'd buy a Willy Care grooming kit. I mean, I know it's a common name and all, but are there really enough Willies out...

Check it out

Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

Buy Now

Voice & Motion Activated Prank Stickers

$12.99 from Amazon »

More sticker fun for the office and airport pranksters. A 50-pack of Voice & Motion Activated prank stickers, my college friends, seem like a necessary addition to your suitcase when you head back to the dorm too....

Buy Now

Prank Magnetic Bumper Stickers

$3.99 from Amazon »

My friend Cornelius put one of these prank bumper stickers on my car the other day, and even though I realized it was magnetic and therefore easily removed shortly after retracing my drive to the soft-serve ice cream...

Buy Now

Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device

Sold Out from Amazon »

File it under "Prank." "Leg Up." "TCB." Or "Revenge." Shomer-Tec's Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device looks like no more than a nondescript gray box--a useless one, perhaps. You can even flip its switch and nothing...