11

Dog Shelter BBQ Finder App

By: on April 01, 2013

Are you having trouble finding the very best dog shelter BBQs in your area? Well sharpen your steak knife and bow-wow your head to say grace because the same people who brought you The Funloving Feminist's Bible have added smartphone apps to their wheelhouse, and their inaugural release, The Last Bark, has canine lovers covered.

Historically dog shelter BBQs--hush-hush, "underground" eating clubs characterized by their hidden entryways, barred windows, and celebrity clientele--have been reserved for adventurous gourmets with thick wallets and top American Kennel Club breeders; they were off limits to the general public. But this was a restriction with which The Last Bark had a big, juicy bone to pick.

App creator, Cole Kutz, sheds some light on these hidden culinary gems, and why he believes they should be universally accessible. "Dog shelter BBQs have been in existence for as long as people have been unrealistic about their ability to care for a dog. Provided society as a whole maintains its well-established negligence as pet owners, street dogs, stray dogs, lost dogs, and abandoned dogs will grant animal shelters prime, succulent meat for their BBQs. Call it a happy accident. And now, with The Last Bark, anyone who craves a delicious and adventurous meal can find out--instantly, and with daily database updates--where they're being served."

Though most animal shelter representatives we approached refused to be interviewed about dog BBQs and The Last Bark, one did grant us a few minutes under the condition of anonymity. When questioned about the existence of shelter eating clubs, he responded, "Of course we roast dogs. But only the ones slated to be euthanized and, of those, only the ones who still have some heft left to them." He went on to qualify that while different shelters carry different policies for euthanization, most give owners and potential adopters "at least a day or two" to claim their pets. In defense of their operating procedures and practices, the representative continued, "How else would we get funding, keep our doors open? Donations? Yeah, maybe 30 years ago, but after that bitch Susan Komen got breast cancer, it all became about writing checks for pink ribbons and fat asses who walk a few miles."

With regard to The Last Bark's potential for opening the gourmet dining experience to a much wider audience, the rep concedes that shelters may lose the support of wealthy and high-profile diners who will no longer view the BBQs as an exclusive luxury. But he feels that once the rest of the population catches on the events will more than make up in numbers what they lose in deep pockets.

And why wouldn't they? Who will be able to resist expertly prepared delicacies such as:

  • German Shepherd's Pie
  • Pugs-in-a-Blanket
  • Rack of Lab
  • Beagle Back Ribs
  • Chow Chow Mein
  • Yorkshire Terrier Pudding
  • Chihuahua Rellenos
  • Goldensnickerdoodles
  • Boston Terrier Creme Pie

The Last Bark has also committed to donating a portion of its proceeds each month to rotating animal shelters amenable to hosting dog BBQs for the homeless.

When asked what's up next for his forward-thinking organization, Kutz clams up about specifics, but does allude to a collaboration with carnivorous culinary giant Pets or Food to introduce a service that will satiate those with more exotic and savage appetites.

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

CasusGrill - Biodegradable Instant BBQ

$8 from The Fowndry »

Biodegradable and 100% natural, the CasusGrill leaves no trace when you dispose of it. Which is more than I can say for the oysters my friend Cornelius grilled at his anti-Taco-Tuesday BBQ last night. I disposed of at...

Buy Now

Smoke Puck Meat Infusers

$12.99 from Amazon »

They say these smoke pucks pack punch. Right in your meat's kisser! Smaller than a wood or pellet smoker, or even a wood / pellet smoker box that sits under your grill lid, the Steven Raichlen Best of Barbecue Stainless...

Check it out

No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

Buy Now

Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

Check it out

King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

Buy Now

Star Wars TIE Fighter Gas Grill

$299.99 from Amazon »

How much do you love Star Wars? Like in exact number of dollars? If it's more than a few hundos, the franchise invites you to show your love with a Star Wars TIE Fighter Portable Gas Grill. And get ready to add "BBQ from...

Check it out

AeroBull Speakers

$699 - $1,999 from Jarre »

Jarre loves them some funky speakers (remember the AeroTwist?) Their AeroBulls go canine with sound system design, turning French bulldogs into in-house HD and rechargeable travel speakers whose bark, I'd imagine, far...

Buy Now

BergHOFF Portable Table BBQ

$325.90 from Amazon »

In addition to a charcoal fire basket and a pair of grill grates, BergHOFF's Table BBQ also has a Red Dot Design Award under its cork pad lid. Termed a "social grill" the portable cooker packs up like a small cooler--covered...

Check it out

Aniva Cosa Transforming Chiminea & Grill

Aniva's Cosa lifts, flips, and slides between cooking your raw meat (BBQ), serving your succulent meat (side table), and heating your body meat (fire pit, or chiminea) while you eat it. The transforming grill impressed...

Check it out

Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...

Buy Now

iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$114.99 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....