99

Vampliers Screw Pliers

By: on August 16, 2013
$29.97
Check It Out

One time I knew this girl who was a regular blood donor, and apparently if you're a regular blood donor the blood bank pesters you to donate even more blood, and so whenever they would call she'd look at her caller ID and say, "Oh, it's the vampires again." I thought it was kind of funny she called the blood bank vampires. Similarly, I think it's kind of funny that someone made these screw extraction tools and named them Vampliers. As in, pliers that clamp down on rusty, stripped, jammed, or tamper-proof screws, and don't stop sucking 'til they pop out dead.

Made from carbon steel produced by Kobe Steel of Japan, Vampliers are fitted with a combination of vertical and horizontal serrations to establish a strong bite, maintain grip during the extraction process, and prevent slippage. And even though their nature is to destroy, due to their slick appearance, suave nature, and super strength, all women seem to fall in love with Vampliers and seek to have a pair by their side.

Buy Now

Guardman Bicycle Multi-Tool

$9.99 from Amazon »

To be clear, Guardman's Bicycle Multi-Tool isn't a multi-tool specific to bike repairs, it's a multi-tool shaped like a bike. As in, Ding, ding! Move over Leathermen and SAKs, it's time to add a bike lane to your pocket...

Check it out

THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

Buy Now

BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers

$36.89 - $136.29 from Amazon »

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

Buy Now

TheraGun Muscle Massager

Sold Out from Amazon »

The TheraGun muscle massager might be the non-human massager to end all massagers. In fact, I'd bet a crisp Abe Lincoln it could give most human proffesionals a run for their money too. Tension and pain relief, increased...

Buy Now

Leatherman Mut Multitool

$158.53 from Amazon »

I was just sitting here picking my nose and it dawned on me: human hands are the original multi-tool. Then I started thinking about all of the varied tasks they can perform in their host of contortions, nose picking...

Buy Now

Kootek Self-Defense Flashlight

$27.99 from Amazon »

Need a knife, a hammer, and a self defense club in a flash? Then you might want to carry Kootek's knife, hammer, and self defense club in a flash...light....

Buy Now

B.A.T. Coin Multi-Tool

$32 from Amazon »

If it looks like a B.A.T. and cuts, opens, ignites, and carries like a B.A.T., it must be a Bring Anywhere Tool. In the case of the B.A.T. Coin multi-tool, one barely bigger than a quarter too....

Buy Now

Guppie Multi-Tool

$22.77 from Amazon »

I know. There are only so many multi-tools one can own. But only one multi-tool one can own also impersonates the precious, innocuous fish who died on you (possibly repeatedly) during childhood. What up, Guppie Multi-Tool?...

Check it out

The Aperture Wrench

Wrenches and camera lenses: together at last. As it turns out, the seeming odd couple industrial designer Jordan Steranka paired up to create his Aperture Wrench concept is a completely logical and elegantly handy pair....

Buy Now

686 Men's Tool Belt

$29.99 - $45 from Amazon »

Yep, it is indeed a Tool Belt. Good language manipulation, 686. This 100% full-grain and waterproof leather securer of pants incorporates a few of your trusty everyday carry tools into its everyday weary style. (Yes...

Buy Now

Gator Grip Universal Socket Set

$14.92 from Amazon »

The Gator Grip chomps up and spits out all the other sockets in your set. This universal socket houses 54 hardened steel spring pins that expand and contract instantly to fit a broad range of nuts, bolts, and other hardware....

Check it out

Death Wrench Tools

$5.95 - $189.95 from Death Wrench »

My favorite slayers of the walking dead over at Zombie Hammer have expanded their market. Now in addition to using their American steel implements of doom to whack zombies, you can also use them to fix a leaky pipe and...