Pets

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Casper Dog Mattress

$125 - $225 from Casper »

Remember the Casper? Or should I say, the Hug & Bounce Mattress? Now your dog can get his game--and by game I mean 18 hours of sleep per day--on too with Casper's version Canine of their pressure-relieving memory and...

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MDK9 Dog Haus

$3,650 from RAH:DESIGN »

Axel here turned his nose up at the first house his owner Rahil Taj bought him, demanding something "less Peanuts and more Frank Lloyd Wright, dude. You know, clean lines, dramatic angles. And can we show some creativity...

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Live Pet Chinese Praying Mantis

$13.99 from Amazon »

The praying mantis. As fascinating and educational as a moon jelly, but even more fun to keep as a pet because it will "tolerate handling." Especially if you let it suck some of your blood....

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Bird Cage Table

Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed...

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Aqua Farm

$50.73 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving...

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LumaTank - Edge Lit Fish Tank

Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis...

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Bowser Beer for Dogs

$35.99 from Amazon »

Dogs. Always wanting to do everything their humans do. Drink beer. Hog the bed. Hump ladies' legs. And while they've mastered the latter two, minus the times a drunk guest sneaks them a few swigs during holiday parties...

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Dog Snowsuit

Sold Out from Etsy »

For the dog: Italian greyhounds seem like fragile, sensitive creatures, so I'm going to let the fact that you're wearing a canine snowsuit with a 270-degree hood drawstringed tightly around your head in this photo slide...

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MK-84 Aqua Bomb Aquarium

$7,500 from Moto Art »

The MK-84, a general-purpose US military bomb, is known as the "Hammer." Here incorporated by the incomparably creative and mildly devious MotoArt into an 80" tall fish aquarium, appropriately termed the MK-84 Aqua Bomb...

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Blown Glass Hermit Crab Shells

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From...

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Dog Cat Scratching Post

This poor bastard. Not only has the superior dog been relegated to a life of feline subservience highlighted by cats using his face and body to sharpen their claws, but his creator, Erik Stehmann, also named him Lumpi....

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If You Can Read This Dog Tag

$12 from Etsy »

If you can read this I will lick you. A simple metal disk turns dog collar banality into dog collar hilarity. But how many people take the time to rifle through a dog's tags in search of potential witticisms? I think...

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Apple Computer Pet Bed

Sold Out from Etsy »

The iconic, transparent Apple beauty that started it all has been reinvented and primed for a cat nap. Revolutionary computer turned revolutionary pet bed--congratulations to Etsy vendor Atomic Attic for their "upcycles"...

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LED-Lit Ant Farm Revolution

$22.72 from Amazon »

Add LED lighting, and it seems possible to bring the sexy back to just about anything. Cheap retro watches. House slippers. Even ant farms. In fact, crazy old Uncle Milton purports to start a full-on ant farming revolution...

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Modern Dog Lounge

Discontinued

Celebrities, Louis Vuitton, and your gold-digging ex have already proven that a $598 pooch accoutrement is perfectly reasonable, so let's not even bother balking at the price of this stylized, Jetsons-looking doggie lounge....

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Self-Cleaning Aquarium

$194.99 from Amazon »

The one responsibility that comes with owning a Betta fish--aside from not showing it a mirror--is cleaning its bowl semi-regularly, lest the glass should get so grimy as to interfere with your mean-spirited attempts...

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Macquarium

$199 from Macquarium »

Let your fish swim free of viruses. It's a no-brainer aquarium setup that even novice fish owners can learn to operate. And, of course, it's very stylish and a bit overpriced. But what else would you expect from Apple?...

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Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix

$30 from SUCK UK »

Everyone suspects that their cat is a pretty decent DJ. But does your cat have what it takes to spin at the big Vegas venues? Could he host a Kardashian party.... the ultimate gig? Don't just throw him directly into the...

Everyday Carry: Carbon Fiber Edition
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Labyrinth Aquarium

$6,500 from Opulent Items »

Fish are smart. Everyone knows this. A fake ceramic treasure chest and plastic plants get old after a few minutes. Enter the labyrinth. A veritable swimmer's amusement park for aquatic life, this will keep your smelly...

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...