Pets

Busch Dog Brew

Busch Dog Brew is here for pet owners who have always dreamed of kicking back, relaxing, and shotgunning a beer with their pooch. No, I mean in a safe, canine-friendly way, all ye eejits out there who have already done...

DUZ Hands Free Pet Dryer

$219.99 from Amazon »

The DUZ Hands Free Pet Dryer is here to make your floofy floof floofier without forcing you to choose between holding your pet grooming tools or holding your dog (or cat - ha!) back from high-tailing it the F away from...

DoyenCat Sushi Chef FunBox with Scratching Board

Sold Out from Amazon »

If your cat is the next Jiro Ono of sushi chefs, but he eats every single piece of hamachi and maguro sashimi he slices before giving you any, does he still deserve a DoyenCat Sushi Chef FunBox with scratching board floor?...

TagME Dripless Dog Water Bowl

$16.85 - $17.99 from Amazon »

I loved the Old English Sheepdog I had growing up like a brother, but one thing I did not love about him was the smelly, sopping wet beard under his chin he'd always slime me with after gulping from his water bowl. Either...

Petsfit Dog Bunk Bed

$139.99 from Amazon »

Not only does this dog bunk bed from Petsfit look precious, the wood panel pooch chamber is begging to look even more precious, as it arrives primed and ready for a custom paint job from Dad. I mean, come one, Petsfit...

Dog Bathrobe

$24.59 - $32.99 from Amazon »

If you're currently sitting at home living in your bathrobe, don't leave your doggo out of the lounging fun. The Dog Bathrobe lets four-legged friends of all sizes join their humans in experiencing what it's like to be...

Bissell Barkbath Dual Use Dog Bath & Deep Cleaner

$199.99 from Amazon »

The Bissell Barkbath sees you. Sittin' at home. Coronavirus quarantined. Your dog's so damn happy he could do a backflip. Hey, maybe with all this spare time on your hands, you should teach your dog how to do a backflip...

Keep Em Out/In Dog Door Gate

$299 from CB2 »

The Keep Em Out/In Dog Door Gate is as fancy as your dog itself. A designer dog barricade for your designer dog breed...despite its redneck-sounding name...

Indoor Hunting Cat Feeder

$13.48 from Amazon »

Doc & Phoebe's Indoor Hunting Cat Feeder gives your feline friend the chance to play cat and mouse every night, in the house, and without a dead rodent at your feet as the endgame. Stimulating cats' hunting instincts...

MS Modern Cat Litter Box

$109.99 from Amazon »

Is it a suitcase? Is it a speaker? Is it...Are you kitten me right meow, hooman?! It's a litter box! And not just any litter box. A snazzy, private, MS Modern Cat Litter Box, available in Classic White, Moss Green, Sweet...

Dog Paw Anti-Slip Pads

$21.75 - $24.19 from Amazon »

Oh. My. Dog. Anti-slip pads for pooch paws are the newest way for dog owners to make life easier for their pets by way of making their pets miserable. Booties weren't bad enough? Now we need a method for removing from...

The Dog House Sofa

Let sleeping dogs lie...next to you but not all up in your space. The Dog House Sofa by designer Seungji Mun is to be part of the first collection of "the emotional pet furniture brand 'mpup'." There is a forthcoming...

Murphy Style Dog Bed

$201.59 from Amazon »

A murphy bed for pups, now that is some doggy style. The Eco FLEX Abigail dog murphy bed folds out of a decorative cabinet in your choice of Espresso or Antique White...

TEEF! - Drinkable Dog Dental Health

$28 - $285 from TEEF! »

I know. TEEF!'s idea of dumping dissolvable powder in your dog's water to clean his teeth is inherently off-putting. Not only because there seems to be enough random shit in our water supply these days, but also because...

Rechargeable Pet Nail Grinder

$29.99 from Amazon »

They call this a rechargeable "pet" nail grinder because it's designed with 3 different ports in its safety cap to accommodate large dogs, medium dogs, and small dogs. Uh, and cats. Cats!...

Sexed Pair of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches

$12.50 from Amazon »

Who figured out that this is the magic combination of words - "Sexed Pair of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches" - that's going to make every mother in America say, "Why, of course, honey!" when her kid asks to get a pet?...

BioBubble Wonder Bubble Tunnel Fish Tank

Sold Out from Amazon »

A tunnel for your betta fish, a feat of physics for your aesthetic pleasure. BioBubble's Wonder Bubble Tunnel Kit is a freshwater fish tank whose egg shape gets super nifty on the top half with an arcing aquatic tunnel...

Banana Hamster Hammock

$8.79 from Amazon »

A banana hamster hammock?! Oh boy, between banana hammocks and hamsters up the butthole I almost don't even know where to start!...

Fur-Zoff - World's Ugliest Pet Fur Remover

$6 from Amazon »

The Fur-Zoff pet fur remover reminds me of a line from the song "If You Wanna Be Happy." You know, the one about how if you marry a pretty woman she'll break your heart, but an ugly one will stay with you forever. Anyway...

Hyper Pet Lickimat - Slow Feeder Dog Mat

$5.99 - $12.99 from Amazon »

Aw, poor dogs and cats. Getting Labeled Hyper Pets by the Lickimat slow feeder just because they're partial to a scarfing pace when it comes to eating their scrumptious kibble and tuna fish. I'd never force my cat Zanzibar...

Feed Me: 50 Home Cooked Meals for Your Dog

$29.95 from Amazon »

50 Home Cooked Meals for Your Dog?! How about Feed Me: 50 Home Cooked Meals for Your Husband? I've seen dogs dig gristle out of the trash. I've seen dogs lick smeared PB&J and Filet-O-Fish sandwiches off the ground at...

Cat Camp Cat Tents

$59.95 from Cat Camp »

Cat Camp Cat Tents aren't just charming twists on cat beds that look like human tents on the outside. They are real, multi-part tents through and through. Cat Camp calls themselves "the world's first specialized tent...

Bristly Toothbrush for Dogs

$22 from Bristly »

The Bristly is a toothbrush for your dog disguised as a chew toy. A super durable rubber chew toy with different textures and an infused meat flavor to make teeth cleaning time something Doggo looks forward to, rather...

Dog Doorbells for Housebreaking Your Dog

$13.98 from Amazon »

They say these dog doorbells are for housebreaking your dog, but come on. We all know it's just the next step in your dog training you. And a bell no less! Doggo rings and Hooman comes running. Sure, you want him to learn...