I can't think of a better way to greet my guests, guard my house, and make myself feel perpetually on the brink of getting the shit kicked out of me than the mounted head of Christopher Walken. The most disturbing former Broadway actor more...
For the dog: Italian greyhounds seem like fragile, sensitive creatures, so I'm going to let the fact that you're wearing a canine snowsuit with a 270-degree hood drawstringed tightly around your head in this photo slide without further more...
Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough put that in my pipe and smoke it. So probably I need a pipe. A pipe both mesmerizing and calming. A pipe capable of drowning my ire for self-important mongers of cliches in a heavy more...
Who isn't a fan of checking out innards these days? Particularly when the innards belong to our favorite film creatures--Mogwais, Gremlins, Martians, Predators, Xenomorphs--and particularly when the versions we used to cut open or tear more...
Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet throughout our more...
Everyone will be glad to know this Blood Pool Pillow comes with a 1-year warranty. Like, in case it evaporates or absorbs into the bedsheets or something, I guess. The deep red velvet casing is stuffed to a 3D level of equal parts comfort and distaste, particularly when used while sneaking in a nap at the office. For dogs, the Blood Pool Pillow is also a good prop to haul in when convincing owners more...
My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet water in a more...
According to the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, the Beetlejuice Terrarium is an accurately-depicted scale model of the Maitland-Deetz estate, replete with fence posts, dirt driveway, the foreboding, Burton-esque tree, and a 1 1/2" more...
Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of night. The more...
It's pretty sweet how Thai artist Anant Lopas chose Slash as the lone Guns 'n' Roses personality to turn into an intricately carved vinyl wall clock because it means that even people in the Far East know Axl is a poon. In fact, Slash more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
Italian designer Rodolfo Rocchetti has turned three menacing beasts of the jungle into living room sofas: the tiger; the panther; and, most nightmarishly of all, the cow. Moooooo. Ugh, who decided cows were acceptable subjects for home more...
If you're a Double Helix Fan Club member, but can't make it to Japan to clone your face, and find the prospect of being mug-melded with your sister a little disturbing, check out this subtler artistic representation of your DNA. DNA more...
WORX's JawSaw endeavors to make limbing and trimming efforts--which help the arrival of fall suck even more--slightly less of a pain in the ass. Part pruner, part chainsaw, the JawSaw's extendable handle and electrical powering eliminate more...
Pastiche of 1960s artistic minimalism and Cold War technology, anyone? The Six Digit Nixie Tube Clock combines original Russian New Old Stock IN-14 Nixie tubes with 16 user-controlled colors of LED lighting, and the hands of Father more...
This belongs on The Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. This bed made of ash and featuring silk curtains, is part of a collection of furniture. I think this bed is probably too good for me. If I laid my dirty feet down on it, the more...
LIFX (pronounced Life-ex) is an energy-efficient, multi-color LED bulb controlled by its user's smartphone. Though currently still in production, interested parties can sign up online for notification of the technology's availability more...
Your face on the wedding cake topper? Hell yeah! This is, after all your mother f'in' day, and for once, just once, everything damn well should be all about you! Oh, and whomever that person standing next to you in front of the preacher more...
The subject matter: 80s and 90s WWF legends. Wrestlers who earned their status through killer showmanship, illustrative identities, and annihilatory moves that, 20+ years later, make them recognizable by little more than their trademark more...
It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're gonna have more...
Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of your smelly more...
Corkcicle. Not only are this tchotchke's name and aesthetics cute 'n' clever, the item actually serves a utilitarian purpose. Keep white wines chilled, or bring red wines people who don't give a Corkcicle about wine have stored next more...
All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may as well add more...
Those talks of collaboration? Beaker and Martha Stewart have finally hooked it up. Test Tube chandeliers satisfy the overhead lighting needs of science geeks and prima donnas alike with their authentic glass chem lab cylinders hanging more...
For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other side more...
F resolutions to be healthy, I'm kicking off 2013 with some tequila! A full buffet of tequila to be exact. Woodworker Robert Lock has handcrafted a display platter from beams of wormy chestnut salvaged from barns throughout North Carolina's more...
Holy crap, can you imagine how many cookies the Cookie Monster would eat if he were high? Possibly all the cookies in the world. Which in a way would be interesting to witness, but in a bigger way very sad, because then I would have more...
And when not using it to slash through pepperoni and mozzerella, you can also carry the Big Bad Pizza Wheel as a self-defense weapon, or dangle it from the ceiling to practice your most excellently dangerous one-handed rings routine. more...
A 3" x 1" alarm that attaches to any door or window, and fires a powerful siren if anyone enters. It's the perfect companion for travelers, people with nosy mothers and girlfriends, and the inexplicably paranoid. In addition to its more...
Artist Ryan McArthur might just be Epson printing a name for himself as an icon of icons. His Walking Dead Minimalist Prints gave understated life to the essences of Sheriff Rick Grimes & Co., and now his Star Wars Prints pay similar more...