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The Cover Clamp - Cover-Hog Combatant

By: on August 18, 2016
$19.99
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If you won't fly without the Knee Defender or park without DrivewaySpikes, then you best not share a bed with a cover hog anymore without the Cover Clamp. The Cover Clamp secures sheets and comforters in place on the side of the bed, and on top of the person, that normally has them ripped away by the adjacent a-hole in the middle of the night.

Yep, it's the most ridiculous thing I've seen all month too. Well, next to that Russian diver.

Made with "the strongest spring clamps on the market," and covered with a super grippy, but linen-protective rubber composite, the Cover Clamp's clamp end clips onto your sheets, blankets, and duvet covers, while its Grip Pad end slips about 2' underneath your mattress. The clamp then protects your sheets from snoring thieves, and the pad protects the clamp as it holds tight to your mattress and box spring* (further strengthened by your body weight on top of it.)

The Cover Clamp also includes a side release buckle that will allow the person using it to get in and out of bed normally, instead of head-first. It can withstand yank forces of over 30 pounds, as well as keeps slack from occurring when you toss and turn.

People typically need just one Cover Clamp because most often it's just one selfish bastard who steals the covers at night. However, if you and your S.O. are both selfish bastards, you can opt to be fair and buy two.

*If you don't have a box spring or flat surface under your mattress, you can also secure the Cover Clamp strap directly to your bed frame.

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Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

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Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed

$199 from Smartduvet »

The Smartduvet self-making bed - no, really. The bed makes itself. Just watch. And that's old news. Smartduvet is now launching a next generation of their smart bedding, the Breeze, that adds dual-zone climate control...

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$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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$59.95 from Amazon »

Though less QuadHands and more QuadPincers, this soldering tool and vise drives home an important point: every now and then we could all use an extra hand pincer. For makers and tinkerers, 4 pincers is even better....

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$25 from Amazon »

To put this armrest extender and divider on my airplane seat the next time I fly somewhere do I need the person next to me's permission? I mean, it's not like the Knee Defender, aiding in my comfort at the expense of...

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iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

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Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

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Gravity Therapeutic Weighted Blanket

$169 - $209 from Gravity »

The Gravity Blanket is like a big, wraparound, hours-long hug. John Fiorentino created his weighted cover as a therapeutic tool for those who find themselves stressed, anxious, and/or sleepless at night....

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The Magic Weighted Blanket

$107.85 - $267.85 from Amazon »

The Magic Weighted Blanket uses a therapeutic approach similar to the Gravity Blanket we saw here last month, with a couple of key differences: 1) The Magic Weighted Blanket is made of baby-bunny-soft chenille and sold...

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Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

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The Bird's Nest Bed

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE...