Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices
You know what they say: if you can't beat the egg, let the egg beat you. At least that's what I'd guess they say around the Tenga Easy Beat Egg production line. From the same Tenga that brought you the Flip Hole male masturbator comes (hard, I hope!) another men's pleasure device - this one with a name just as chuckle-worthy, a size that makes it even easier to carry, and an effect Tenga says will send you straight into a state of...eggstasy.
If you're wondering the same thing I was when I first saw the Tenga Easy Beat Egg, read on, and I will tell you exactly how the F this F'ing egg is supposed to jack you off.
Hint and welcome news: you do not have to stick it up your butt.
The Easy Beat Egg outer shell snaps off like an Easter egg to reveal, yep, a sweet surprise. Inside is another egg, this one made of a "super-stretchable elastomer" that fits over your favorite one-eyed snake to help your hand get the job done a little more pleasurably. Inside the elastomer are 2 things: 1) a wee packet of lube; and 2) your choice of a dozen different Tenga textures. With names like Wavy, Clicker, Silky, and Spider. Each textured interior makes for a slightly different chicken-choking experience.
And speaking of chickens, I wonder if once you use an Easy Beat Egg you'll be able to answer the age-old question of which came first.
Since they're relatively inexpensive, Easy Beat Eggs are designed to be disposable after one jerk, but there is the option to wash and reuse them for those who really dig the purchase, or who like to be thrifty with their masturbation aids. For the spurt splurgers, Tenga also sells their Easy Beat Eggs as 6-packs.