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Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

By: on July 27, 2016
$25 - $199
from
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Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos and butt plugs to assist with humanity's other favorite pastime.

Geeky Sex Toys will sell just 50 of the 4-piece Pokemoan kit and its collector's Pokecase. Pleasure critters include: Bulby, a grass-type Pokemoan with a 5 x 4 cm seed tip; Charmy, the thinner, fire-type character with a flaming tail; Squirty, your water toy with a smooth round hea and grooved turtle shell back; and Piky, the electric-type anal Pokemoan.

For those who prefer a different type of geeky kink, check out the Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and superhero sex toys also available in the Geeky Sex Toys store. Long Shaft, Jon Snow's dildo sword, anyone?

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Vibrating Panties (NSFW)

$29.99 from Amazon »

New life hack, ladies: vibrating panties for your long, miserable commute. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable shift. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable night of caring for your poor little monkey with...

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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

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Boregasm Pills

Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)

Sold Out from Amazon »

Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

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LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

$29.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

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Custom Made Lightsabers

$129.99 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he...

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Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)

$14.99 from Amazon »

D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...

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Selfie Vibrator with HD Camera (NSFW)

$155 from Amazon »

It doesn't have to be a holiday or special occasion to surprise your lady with a thoughtful gift. The Svakom Gaga Sex Selfie Stick even has a foolproof, built-in mechanism for gauging how much she likes it. Come on, sugar...

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Decimator Staff Lightsaber

Discontinued

I wish Saberforge would stop churning out new custom designs faster than I can squirrel away enough money from helping old ladies with groceries and skimming off the top of the church collection basket to buy them all....

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The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)

$11.95 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

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Images You Should Not Masturbate To

$9.95 from Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad....