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Jellyfish Lamps

By: on December 29, 2012
$325 - $425
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I got stung by a jellyfish once in the evil waters of Florida's Gulf Coast. On the ankle. Yeah, the stories are true. It hurts like a mother. I don't know how Will Smith did it in Seven Pounds, aka The Saddest Movie Ever Made That You Should Never, Ever Watch for the First Time on an Airplane. Anyway, what's not true is that having someone pee on the affected area will make the burning venom of the jellyfish subside. What does help is getting in the shower and dousing it with the hottest water you can stand, and then drinking a jar of Apple Pie Moonshine.

As you can imagine, Roxy Russell Designs' Medusae Collection of jellyfish lamps do not evoke very pleasant memories for me. However, in a rare moment of clarity, I realized not everything is about me. Just most things. But in this case, it's about you. It's about presenting you with these translucent mylar pendant lights because you might not think jellyfish are the spawn of a vengeful Kraken. You might think they are cool and beautiful.

If so, grab your wallet and take your pick from 4 airy, cascading tentacled designs: Medusa; Polyp; Hydra; and Ophelia. Jellyfish lights are made of a gloss white, powder-coated aluminum, and velum finished with polyester mylar. Dimensions are 13" in diameter and 36" long. All lamps arrive packaged flat; assemble by connecting their (supposedly) precision cut mylar pieces.

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Pet Jellyfish Tank

$365.99 from Jellyfishart.com »

This is one of the coolest products we've come across in a long time. These are real damn jellyfish swimming around in your house. This is a very legitimate site and has a solution for all budgets....

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Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider

$490 - $895 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip...

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JellyTank Jellyfish Aquarium

$150 - $175 from JellyTank »

If you've always wanted a sweet jellyfish aquarium, but had to concede that Beyonce was right when she kept telling you, "I don't think you're ready for this jelly," have a look at JellyTank. The forthcoming aquarium...

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Dripping Glass Jellyfish Sculptures

Daniela Forti creates these sick jellyfish sculptures and sculptural tables that I would definitely break within 5 minutes of owning using a glassworking technique called glass fusion, and a physics technique called gravity....

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

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Human Submarine Suit

When all the other kids in Phil Nuytten's class said they wanted to be astronauts when they grew up, Phil went rogue and said he wanted to be an aquanaut. Then, while all the wannabe astronauts ended up living in their...

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WTF? Icon Prints

$15 - $40 from Etsy »

Santa, you better man up because your sleigh is about to be filled to the gates of heaven with prints of "Batman Puking His Friggin Guts Out" and "Bazooka Whale." I don't know what's more enamoring here: Jann Van Zant's...

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Steampunk Octopus Door Handles

$700 from Etsy »

If Tolkien went steampunk, these giant octopus door handles would make the perfect substitute for a wizard wielding a sword and staff. Kraken says, You shall not pass!...

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LED Jellyfish Mood Lamp

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you weren't crowned winner of our Pet Jellyfish Tank Giveaway, or are like me and don't have much success keeping alive things in your care alive, this LED jellyfish mood lamp could be the non-living companion of your...

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Octopus Kite

$48.90 from Amazon »

I don't think the giant 3D Octopus Kite that's for sale is quite the same as the giant 3D Octopus Kite flying in the above video. But maybe your kids won't notice that when, after showing them the graceful cephalopod...

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Cthulhu Titanium Bottle Opener

$80 from A. Jacques »

Maybe Alex Jacques' interest in a Cthulhu bottle opener began with his interest in straight razors. The craftsman started out, and continues to forge, what he hopes you'll consider "the finest handmade straight razors...

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The Animal Chair Collection

The Animal Chair collection constitutes a diverse range of species, from mammals to reptiles, and even including insects. Each creation retains the animal's natural vitality whilst being totally biological accurate in...