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The Fat Magnet

By: on April 26, 2013
$2.40
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I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the ass kind. After a stint in the freezer its metal cone sucks off fat floating on the surface of foods, such as stews, soups, gravies, and any item exiting the kitchen of Paula Deen. Summon it to instantly remove calories, cholesterol, and probably most of what makes food taste good, but if the choice is between being a fat magnet or using a Fat Magnet I would elect for other people to use the Fat Magnet.

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Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging

$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...

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OtoSet Automatic Ear Cleaning Headset

By: SafKan »

I doubt SafKan made its OtoSet to be the Beats headphones of earwax removal systems. But since finishing the last episode of The Defiant Ones, Beats headphones are all I see when I look at the world's first automated...

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Artisan Dry Cured Meats Charcuterie Starter Kit

$160 from Amazon »

While most of the charcuterie I've had from stores and in restaurants has been stupidly expensive, stingily portioned snob food, I usually overlook its hoity toity characteristics on account of the fact that it's also...

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ShapeScale 3D Body Scanner

$299 - $499 from ShapeScale »

ShapeScale says its 3D body scanner and fitness tracker is "like a magic mirror that allows you to time travel. See your present and past self from any angle." Hmmm, "magic mirror," huh? Something tells me my relationship...

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Amazingly Accurate Tomato Slicer

$12.99 from Amazon »

Convince anyone you're an Olympic tomato wrangler with the Arc "Amazingly Accurate" Tomato Slicer! I don't know how often you need to segment out one of the juicy vegeta-fruits, but for me it's...eh, not that often. Maybe...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$29.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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YO Sperm Tester for Smartphones

$49.95 from YO »

They've had smartphone attachments that tell you whether or not you're sober enough to drive for years now, so it's only logical YO is coming out with one to tell you whether or not you're fertile enough to make babies....

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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The Whisk Wiper

Sold Out from Amazon »

What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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The Knee Defender

$21.95 from Gadget Duck »

Ye of long legs, take note: though the Knee Defender can't increase the amount of space you have within your sphere of airplane seat misery, it can prevent further reduction of the already minimal square footage. Comprised...

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Naked 3D Fitness Scanner

$499 from Naked »

All you metric-driven, body-conscious visual learners out there, it's time to get Naked. And anyone else intrigued by the idea of using regular 3D body scans to track health and fitness, you might want to give this full-length...