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The Fat Magnet

By: on April 26, 2013
$2.40
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I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the ass kind. After a stint in the freezer its metal cone sucks off fat floating on the surface of foods, such as stews, soups, gravies, and any item exiting the kitchen of Paula Deen. Summon it to instantly remove calories, cholesterol, and probably most of what makes food taste good, but if the choice is between being a fat magnet or using a Fat Magnet I would elect for other people to use the Fat Magnet.

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Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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Kitchen Ninja Knife Block

$95.57 from Amazon »

A Kitchen Ninja Knife Block for all the Kitchen Klutzes like me! Skilled, stealthy, and precise with my blade hovering above an onion I am not, but my inner covert agent of feudal Japan would still like to see this knife...

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$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging

$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...

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Magnetic Stove Shelf

$39.99 from Amazon »

Slap down a Stove Shelf - no, really, just slap the magnetic rack down on the back of your stove, installation complete - and give yourself some instant extra storage without sucking up extra space in your kitchen....

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Split Decision Pie Pan

$10.44 from Amazon »

A Split Decision Pie Pan is genius because pie is always a split decision in my house. She-Ra: Princess of Power invariably wants some Frankenstein abomination like Blueberry Lemon Cheddar Streusel, and I, true to good...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$29.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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YO Sperm Tester for Smartphones

$49.95 from YO »

They've had smartphone attachments that tell you whether or not you're sober enough to drive for years now, so it's only logical YO is coming out with one to tell you whether or not you're fertile enough to make babies....

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AUS-ION Australian Iron Cookware

$79.95 - $179.95 from Amazon »

If the interior "Made in Australia" stamp on each piece of this AUS-ION cookware isn't enough to assure you of where the pots and pans come from, zoom in and check out the ends of their handles. See the hole? See its...

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The Whisk Wiper

$23.99 from Amazon »

What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Stuff It Up Pan

$21.79 from Amazon »

I mostly like the Stuff It Up Pan because owning one will allow me to add, "Stuff it up!" to my repertoire of most-used commands. Current inclusions: "Suck it up!" (Crybaby Cornelius); "Suck it in!" (Gotta zip those pants...

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Height Adjustable Pot & Pan Organizer Rack

$49.99 from Amazon »

As much as I love the cacophony of all my pots and pans shifting, smashing, and tumbling when I crouch down and remove one from the kitchen cabinet, I can see why some might prefer their cookware in the tidy, partitioned...