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Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table

By: on May 14, 2017
$6,499
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The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime and some tasty wasabi salted nuts, alternating between 30 minutes of the Star Wars series and a new episode of Master of None. (To force myself not to blaze through all 10 episodes of Season 2 at the warp speed I did with Season 1.

The exquisite coffee table's 20.5" Millennium Falcon narrowly slips through a pair of hand-painted urethane and fiberglass asteroid sculptures. It reminds me of Dev and Arnold's attempt to pilot a Fiat through the alleys of Tuscany in Episode 2 (I'm flipping from Star Wars back to Master of None.) I hope Chewie gives better directions than Dev. The table runs 54" long x 28" wide.

Muchas danke to Manny for the Dude Product Tip.

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Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide

$13.56 from Amazon »

Yoda in a Venn diagram. Nicely done, Star Wars Super Graphic. I'll bet the left slice is those who "Do" and the right those who "Do Not," with the Yoda center representing the young Jedis who tell their master, "Alright...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Star Wars Return of the Jedi Wall Clock

$199.95 from Amazon »

The only thing missing from this Return of the Jedi wall clock is an R2-D2 head that pops out on the hour to go, Bee-boo-boop-coo-koo! Otherwise, it's all there. Electroluminescent lightsabers and LED glow from within:...

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Chewbacca Journal

$25.67 from Amazon »

The Chewbacca Journal presents, Wookiee Deep Thoughts: Waag ahyeg ha. Wua ga ma uma ahuma ooma. RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg! Translation: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you are swimming and when you are angry....

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...

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littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit

$99.95 from Amazon »

Want your kids to learn a littleBits about tech as you secretly relish the interactive R2-D2 they're building? The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit hit littleBits shelves just in time for Force Friday II....

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The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet

$200 from Anovos »

The good news is this is the first ever Standard Line version of a Star Wars: The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet, and you can have one for $200 ($249.95 if you wait until October 1 to order). That bad news...